


Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

by Tarlan



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-19
Updated: 2011-07-19
Packaged: 2017-10-21 13:30:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 46,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/225713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When John Sheppard ends up in an alternate reality, he relies on Rodney McKay to get him home, and discovers far more about the scientist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

**Author's Note:**

> The start of the first sentence came from _HUNTRESS_ as part of a challenge!

[ ](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/tarlanx/6659521/688532/688532_original.jpg)

  
_Mirror Universe_  


John Sheppard was getting married, except, he had no idea who the girl was and, certainly, he could not recall asking for her hand in marriage. Anxiously, he looked across at his best man, surprised to see Aiden Ford standing there. Although he considered Ford to be a friend as well as a subordinate, that difference in rank and the responsibility that came with it had made it difficult to take a final step from good friend to best friend. Some how that role had been snapped up by the most unlikely of people, an astrophysicist with a brain the size of a planet and an ego to match.

So where was Rodney?

"Sir?"

He realized he had spoken aloud so he stated it again. "Where's McKay?"

"McKay?"

"Yeah...McKay." Ford looked confused, which worried John. "Resident genius, huge ego, allergic to...just about everything."

"A scientist? Did he arrive with the new batch on the _Daedalus_?"

"What?" John frowned. "McKay! Rodney McKay. Chief Scientist of the Atlantis expedition."

"Dr. Carter is the chief scientist--"

"Carter?"

Ford was looking a little concerned now. "Yeah. Sam Carter? The lady you're about to marry?"

John sank down onto the seat behind him. He had read about _Colonel_ Samantha Carter and the rest of SG1 in the pre-mission briefings. Her brilliance had pulled her team out of so many bad situations that this had influenced his decision to ask for Rodney McKay on his team. Elizabeth had refused at first because there was too much for the incredibly intelligent scientist to do within the lost city. Still, John had argued that he needed someone from the science department to fill out his team so they would not overlook any important artifacts, or stick any fingers where they shouldn't belong. He did not bother to mention that he might need the man's brain to get them out of any scrapes.

Initially, John thought that maybe he had made a serious error in judgment in choosing McKay because Rodney was no soldier and not much of a team player either, at least not at first. So many times, in those early days, he almost decided to drop him in favor of a more malleable scientist like Zelenka or Grodin. However, on the one mission where he left Rodney behind, John missed him. He missed his whining, missed his snarky comments and the dramatics that engulfed him at every turn. He missed his crooked smile and the way he rolled his eyes when ordinary people queried what he believed even the most ignorant peasant or child ought to know and understand.

"This McKay. If you need him I could radio in--"

"Uh...I'm not sure..."

"Are you okay, sir?"

John noticed the agitation in Ford's dark eyes, knowing this was not a prank on Ford's part.

"Just peachy." He tried to smile reassuringly. "Pre-wedding jitters."

"Oh...okay."

Except it was far more than jitters. Things looked the same and yet everything was wrong. Ford was wrong...and _he_ was wrong in some indefinable way. He had memories of a man who had fought by his side and become the best friend John had ever known. He recalled moments of shared danger, of laughter and of tears, of fear and anger. They had bickered constantly, amiably, and once or twice that bickering had spilled over into accusatory snarls, almost destroying their budding friendship.

The possibility of never having known Rodney McKay was unthinkable. The man had become an integral part of him, defining him in ways he had never imagined before stepping into the darkened gatrium of Atlantis.

He looked across as the door opened and a man stepped in, confusion turning to shock at the sight of Colonel Sumner. Belatedly, John leaped to his feet, snapping a salute.

"At ease, Major."

Major? After the _Daedalus_ arrived in time to save them from the Wraith, O'Neill had given him a field promotion back to Colonel; a rank he had formerly lost when he disobeyed a direct order to save three of his men. That moment of disobedience set his destiny on a path to demotion and then on to the ice sheets of Antarctica before ending up in Atlantis with McKay. Yet, despite all the losses and hardships suffered in the Pegasus galaxy, he would not willingly change the end result.

"Sir."

Sumner grinned at him. "You ready?"

"I can't say that I am, sir."

Sumner's blue eyes lost their twinkle of pleasure. "Heck of a bad time to get cold feet, Major."

"It's not that...well...actually it is that but..." John trailed off. "Meaning no disrespect, sir, but you're dead. I killed you. I had to kill you."

Sumner raised both eyebrows.

"And Lieutenant Ford is no longer fully human...and I'm a Colonel."

Sumner stared at him for two beats and then grinned, laughing aloud. "You nearly got me there, John." His grin faltered when John did not grin back. "This isn't a joke, is it?"

"Where's Rodney McKay? Why isn't he here?"

"McKay?" Sumner frowned, eyes creasing in thought until some memory triggered. "Loud Canadian egghead with a huge ego problem?"

"Yeah," John drawled wryly. That described McKay perfectly to anyone who had never taken the time to get to know the astrophysicist and to see beyond the obnoxious outer shell of the man. The hidden Rodney was funny, with a biting sarcasm that often left John doubled over in laughter, and Rodney held far more compassion in his hidden soul than many believed.

"Sam vetoed his joining the expedition. Didn't like his attitude, and neither did I. Found him too abrasive...that and the comment about dumb blonds, which did not go down too well with Hammond."

John's heart sank. "So where is he now?"

"I suspect he's somewhere back on Earth where he can work without causing any diplomatic incidents using that over inflated ego of his."

"Where exactly, sir?"

"Probably still in Antarctica...or possibly Area 51."

"I need to talk to him."

"Now?"

"Yes sir. Now."

****

Rodney leaned back in his chair and rolled his head from side to side, hearing crackles in his neck, shoulders and back. Too long hunched over his laptop and workbench had seized several muscles but, for once, there was no one to work out the knots.

Working with Jonas Quinn on the Naquadah generators had been more exciting than anything he had done up until now. Jonas was a certified genius too, and with a personality that seemed to complement Rodney's perfectly. He never seemed to get upset when Rodney ranted over the latest piece of incompetence from one of their assistants, or from the lack of support from the military, which was funding the research. Instead, Jonas would smile softly and take away the sting of Rodney's frustration with a gentle kiss and a firm massage of his neck and shoulders.

One of the so-called psychics being tested in Area 51 had once prophesied that he would meet a tall, dark stranger for an out of this world experience. At the time, Rodney had called her a charlatan and would have thrown her out of Area 51 if he'd had the authority. However, Jonas came along and though he was not much of an _out of this world_ experience, in or out of bed, being too complacent to send anyone into orbit, he _was_ an alien so that had to count for something.

Of course, there was another advantage. If he had not been an alien, with a different cultural view on sexuality, then they might never have ended up in bed together so quickly. Jonas had propositioned him within an hour of them meeting and Rodney knew that it was the same sense of loneliness that made him say yes. No sparks flew between them, just a deep respect for each other and a desperate need to assuage the loneliness with the feel of another's warm body beside them in the night. Having a hand on his dick that was other than his own was a major plus too.

All that had come to an end a few days back when Jonas told him he would be returning to his own world. He tried to persuade Rodney to accompany him. The offer had been tempting because he had no one here that he could genuinely call a friend but Kelowna was a backward world despite its skill with manufacturing the Naquadah needed for the powerful generators. It had nothing else to offer beyond that, and Rodney had become more involved with other uses of the powerful element, such as the Stargates and the Ancients who had built them.

Although Naquadah research could have interested him for a few more years, Rodney had found a new calling with the Ancient devices recovered from both this and the Pegasus galaxy. Tomorrow he would be returning to Antarctica to continue his study of The Chair.

He gave a lopsided smile. Only one small error in evolution had held him back until recently--his lack of the ATA gene. When he learned that the doctor on the Atlantis expedition, Carson Beckett, had found the ATA gene and had created a means of delivering the missing gene, Rodney insisted on being one of the first to test out the experimental gene therapy back in the Milky Way. That request had fallen upon deaf ears originally but Rodney was not known for taking, "No," for an answer and had persisted, citing reasons why he would be an admirable choice.

The military had their own reasons for refusing, not wanting to risk losing his incredible brain should the therapy backfire but Rodney had persevered until they gave in. Of course, Jonas had stated good-naturedly that they probably hoped it _would_ backfire so they could solve the problem of the annoying Rodney McKay.

Rodney gave a small crooked smile in remembrance, well aware of how he was perceived by both his peers and the military. He was simply tolerated rather than welcomed with open arms. His ideas were accepted begrudgingly, unless Jonas proposed them. His theories on the Stargate, Ancients, and their incredible technology were ignored for the most part as unimportant, gathering dust in folders within some giant warehouse along with the _Ark of the Covenant_ , he had jokingly stated to Jonas one day...and then been forced to sit through _Raiders of the Lost Ark_ seven times in three days.

He smiled wryly. Perhaps Jonas had never set his senses on fire but he missed the quiet companionship.

"McKay!"

He sighed heavily as Major Williams stepped into his laboratory.

"Yes?"

"Get your things packed. You're leaving for the SGC in fifteen minutes."

Rodney opened his mouth to ask why but Williams had already turned and left. With another deep sigh, he closed down his laptop and rose to his feet. An assistant entered and began to pack up some of his equipment. Rodney paused on the threshold of his laboratory in Area 51, wondering if he was about to be shipped off permanently once more. Silently, he wished he had never agreed to work for the US military because he had a feeling he had ceased to exist beyond the four walls of wherever he worked, never to have the freedom of a normal life again.

****

"Dr McKay."

"General Hammond."

Hammond gave a tight smile. The last time he had seen McKay was when Anubis attacked Earth and his thoughts returned to those frantic hours as the countdown to the total destruction of the Earth rolled on relentlessly....

****

"The man is insufferable," stated Carter. "He's impossible to work with. He spends a few years in Siberia looking at the Russian Stargate and a few months at Area 51 and thinks he knows everything about it. I have dedicated the past eight years of my life to this project. I was the one to get the Stargate up and running long before we even knew what a DHD was."

Hammond sighed and took a deep breath. Petty squabbles between scientists were commonplace, with too many egos contending for recognition in too small a field.

"And if he infers that I am some dumb blond...bimbo one more time I am going to stuff a lemon down his throat and watch him choke on it."

"Dr. Carter, we do not have time for in-fighting and schoolyard games. I am reliably informed that he is a foremost expert on Stargate technology these days. Use him."

She left in a huff and Hammond wondered if life might have been simpler if she had chosen to follow in her father's footsteps and joined the military rather than attending civilian universities. She needed a little discipline in her life, and she needed to get that massive chip off her shoulder, the one placed there by the poor relationship she'd had with her father and her guilt at not mending the fences between them before he succumbed to the ravages of cancer. The military would have done that for her. In fact, McKay could have used a little humiliation in the form of military service too. Perhaps he would not be so quick with the sarcasm if the end result was a few weeks jogging through rain and mud with a heavy pack strapped to his back as a punishment.

Hammond could not order that but he _could_ send the man back into exile in Siberia and let the Russians deal with him, or he could send him back to Area 51. Either place would be a form of exile for the scientist as both sites involved high security clearances and a loss of personal liberty. The more he thought of it, though, the more he liked the idea of Area 51 with its strong military presence. Perhaps Colonel Maybourne would be able to keep McKay in line. He headed out and stood on the threshold of the laboratory where the two scientists were slinging vitriolic statements back and forth across the room at each other as the clocked ticked ominously towards the destruction of their world.

"No, no, no. That won't work. Perhaps if you hadn't disabled half the protocols then we might have had a chance but it would take too long to recode the mess--"

"Those protocols were an unnecessary redundancy--"

"Unnecessary or was removing them expediency?"

"Unnecessary," grated out Carter.

"Oh, so now you know better than the people who actually _built_ the Stargate?"

"No. But they introduced protocols for conditions that could never exist. The overhead in maintaining those redundant pieces of code would have delayed the start of the Project by years."

"And that would have been bad because..?"

"What do you mean?" Carter snapped back. "If you're referring to the incident two years back? I did everything I could think of to save Teal'c and all you could do was recommend that we give up on him."

"And what did your _exceptional_ plan gain us then? Hmm?" McKay sneered. "Not only did you lose Teal'c but you destroyed the only DHD we had in the process."

"Oh, don't you go blaming me for that, McKay. If we had acted sooner rather than be forced to delay while you argued against the idea then Teal'c's pattern would not have degraded in the buffer by the time I could make the attempt."

"If you had not disabled critical protocols, he would never have been caught in the buffer in the first place."

Only years of dealing with insubordinate behavior within the ranks and the idiot notions of some diplomats kept Hammond's temper in check, though these two acted more like a couple of kids engaged in sibling rivalry. If he had his way, he would have ordered McKay off Cheyenne Mountain immediately but even Carter had been forced to admit that McKay probably knew more about the Stargate technology than she did by now. It must have hurt to admit it but she could not work on SG1 and still maintain the same level of research and development as McKay.

"Carter...McKay. We are running out of time, doctors. Do something."

"I have an idea but Dr. Carter doesn't _care_ for it."

"Tell me."

Hammond listened and when McKay had finished, he turned to Carter, questioningly.

"Dr. Carter? Your objections?"

"Just a feeling I have--"

"Is what McKay said possible?"

"Theoretically but--"

"Do you have anything else we can try?"

She pursed her lips. "No, General."

"Then I'd suggest you get started."

Carter ducked her head and Hammond knew something was up. She was being evasive, holding back on some piece of information and he just hoped it was nothing critical. He knew her ego was a little too fragile on occasion, trying to make up for her erroneous idea that she had to be better and work harder than her male counterparts. He thought she had put aside such thoughts over the years, especially after finding love and marriage with Jack O'Neill but McKay had an uncanny way of bringing out the worst in her. Perhaps it was because he was more than her equal intellectually or because he managed to make her feel inadequate when he was able to actually prove, mathematically, her leaps of intuition. Sadly, he knew they would be a formidable tour de force if they would only work together.

McKay's attempt to close down the Stargate failed almost instantly and he yelled in frustration, blaming more of the missing protocols within Carter's man-made DHD. It reminded Hammond of the old adage that a poor worker always blames his tools. The last straw came when Carter was burned trying to shut off this final attempt before it overloaded the entire system. The damage left them with no more options, until Carter came to him with the simplest solution; remove the Stargate or lose the entire planet.

Maybe that was the true intention of Anubis for, without a Stargate, they were defenseless. They needed it to gain supplies of Naquadah to power their energy weapons and shields, and to find new allies in the fight against the Goa'uld system lords. O'Neill's friendship with Bra'tac had set the Jaffa on the path to freedom from their Goa'uld masters and Carter's connection with a Tokra named Martouf, had given them a good ally there. However, without access to a Stargate, or to ships powerful enough to traverse the galaxy, they would end up isolated from these allies on Earth, and become an easy target for Anubis to conquer.

Yet, what Anubis did not know was that the original builders had left more than one Stargate on this planet.

Still, losing even one of the Stargates would be a devastating blow, especially for the SGC as relations with the Russians was tenuous at best. The Russians had long wanted to instigate their own Stargate program but had agreed to allow the US to take the lead. Without the US Stargate, Russia would gain control automatically. However, all of this was academic if there was no more planet Earth so, in Hammond's opinion, her plan was brilliant. It was everything he had come to expect from his chief scientist, putting McKay to shame. So much for his vaunted brilliance when he had not seen that obvious solution to their problem.

As the Stargate was lifted out of the gate room, Hammond sighed heavily on spotting McKay arguing with Jonas Quinn. The arrogant astrophysicist seemed incapable of getting along with anyone, not even with the unassuming Kelownan. Quinn, however, seemed to take McKay's ranting in his stride with a good-natured smile and a shrug.

They lost Jack O'Neill that day. O'Neill agreed to take the Stargate out of the Earth's atmosphere and get it as far from the Earth as possible but the subroutine created by Carter to override the controls in the prototype X-302 failed. The unstable wormhole ripped the small ship apart even as it transported the Stargate thousands of miles away.

Of course, McKay blamed Carter, saying she ignored the small subroutine that he wrote on the fly that would have corrected the error. Carter countered that his subroutine was flawed and would have resulted in the Stargate failing to fall through the wormhole. The resulting explosion in the Earth's atmosphere would not have been as devastating as an explosion on the planet's surface but it would have sent the planet into the equivalent of a nuclear winter that would last decades.

Given the choice, Hammond knew who he wanted to believe as he could not envisage Carter deliberately ignoring McKay's work out of spite, not when her husband's life had been on the line. Awkwardly, he held her as she sobbed out her grief against his shoulder, sending angry glances towards McKay for his lack of compassion.

He made his decision.

Recalling how Quinn had been asking for a chance to leave the confines of the SGC and how he seemed to be unruffled by McKay's ranting, Hammond came to a decision. He sent Quinn to Area 51 and ordered McKay to go with him. At the very least, this gave Quinn the opportunity to continue working on the Naquadah generator research with McKay learning alongside him.

As McKay strode away stiffly, Hammond refused to see the pain in the man's eyes, silently hoping he would never see McKay again...

****

Hammond's thoughts came back to the present and to the man standing a few feet in front of him. McKay had not changed at all. He still had that same arrogant look, with his lips partially raised on one side in a permanent sneer.

"Can I ask why I've been called here? I am supposed to be returning to Antarctica to take over as head of research...as from tomorrow."

Hammond nodded, recalling how McKay was originally the chief scientist for the Antarctica project before Carter requested reassignment. He understood her need to move on. She had worked side by side with Jack O'Neill, finally accepting his proposal of marriage two years ago. They had continued working as a team until his death and Hammond could see her heart was no longer in her work since his loss. She had needed a new start, away from the confines of the SGC and all the memories associated with this place. Once she had given him the choice of transferring her to Antarctica or losing her services altogether, Hammond's decision had been easy. McKay would have been the best replacement for her at the SGC but Hammond had vetoed him, dreading the idea of having to deal with the man on a daily basis.

"Colonel Sheppard has requested your presence on Atlantis."

"Who?"

"The newly promoted military head of the Atlantis Expedition."

"I thought Colonel Sumner was--"

" _General_ Sumner is returning to Earth to replace me as head of Stargate Command."

"Oh. Why? That is...why would Colonel Sheppard want to see me?"

"I don't know and, quite frankly, I'm more than a little surprised that he asked for you directly."

McKay's eyes shifted away, the subject changing. "Did Jonas Quinn return to Kelowna safely?"

Hammond narrowed his eyes. If the rumors were to be believed then working was not the only thing McKay and Quinn had done together. Jack would have made some wisecrack that it was high time someone was a pain in the ass for McKay...literally. Hammond cleared his throat on that thought, not wanting to let it settle too deeply in case it conjured up images that he would rather not deal with.

"Dr. Quinn is back on Kelowna."

"It was his suggestion, you know. Removing the Stargate."

"I'm sorry?"

"Quinn was the one who suggested taking the Stargate off-world, not Dr. Carter." McKay paced away, clearly agitated and annoyed. "I told him at the time that he had a right to the credit that came with the suggestion but he seemed to feel that it was more important to save the planet than accept the accolades." McKay's eyes widened. "Which is true, of course but...?" McKay sighed angrily. "He was a brilliant scientist, and he was wasted here on Earth." Again McKay twitched. "Well...not completely wasted, obviously, or we would never have got the _Daedalus_ operational in time to save Atlantis but--"

"Dr. McKay. Colonel Sheppard is waiting to speak with you...and I, for one, am eager to learn why."

"Of course. Lead on."

Hammond cleared his throat again in annoyance as McKay waved him on as if he was some underling. He could hear the doctor following on behind him but his thoughts went back to that argument in the gate room between Quinn and McKay. If Quinn had been the one to make the suggestion that saved the planet then why had Carter taken the credit for the idea? More inconsistencies began to appear in his thoughts as he recalled the praise heaped upon Quinn by the Director of Area 51 that was so at odds with Carter's low opinion of him. Her opinion seemed valid at the time as all Hammond could recall from those weeks Quinn spent in the SGC was a man who spent all day staring at the weather channel and reading arcane textbooks that had once belonged to Daniel Jackson.

Had Carter deliberately held Quinn back from any involvement in the Stargate Project? He knew Jack had blamed Quinn for the death of Daniel Jackson. Had Carter blamed Quinn too, and punished him in her own inimitable way by denying him access to any research material?

"This is really exciting for me. Really." McKay was rubbing his hands together, almost gleefully. "I've worked on the Stargate technology for years but they've never allowed me to step through the event horizon before today."

Hammond stopped, amazed at this fresh confession and at the boyish enthusiasm in McKay's face. The lines of arrogance had disappeared, the sneer upon his lips gone too, curled up on both sides into a pleasant smile instead. Hammond continued on with a furrow lining his brow at the inconsistency of McKay being an expert in Stargate technology, but in theory only.

They entered the gate room and stood at the bottom of the ramp staring up at the great circle. At Hammond's command, the inner circle began to rotate, only stopping to encode and lock chevrons before spinning onwards once more.

Upon connection, Hammond glanced from the pool of the event horizon to McKay's blue eyes, seeing the uncertainty hiding in them.

"Doctor?"

McKay jumped at Hammond's voice. "Yes, yes. Draining power. I should step through."

Hammond watched him walk up to Stargate and put his hand out, pushing it into the rippling pool. He took a deep breath, straightening up with false bravado...and stepped through for the first time.

As the wormhole disconnected, Hammond remained at the bottom of the ramp, staring into the space where McKay had been standing seconds earlier. He had a lot of thinking to do right now, and none of it was good because he hated to be wrong about anything. Except he had a terrible feeling that he had been wrong about something, or rather someone important to the project.

****

Stepping through the Stargate for the first time was one of the most eerie sensations John had ever felt, like millions of tiny insects crawling through his body. The second time was not nearly so bad especially for that first time had involved crossing to an entirely different galaxy, which was a far longer journey than any he had made since. Now, he had traveled through the gate so many times that he barely even noticed it anymore, so John was surprised to see a little disorientation on Rodney's face. Rodney was no newcomer to gate travel, after all. Even if he had never come to the Pegasus galaxy as part of the Atlantis expedition, John could recall Rodney telling him about trips back and forth to a world called Kelowna, visiting Jonas Quinn, a former member of SG-1. The Kelownan was, apparently, an expert in the material the Ancients used to create the Stargate and, between them, they had advanced the technology to produce the highly efficient Naquadah generators that had powered Atlantis until the _Daedalus_ brought them a ZPM.

"McKay!" John stepped forward, greeting him with relief far too evident in his voice only to feel dismay when Rodney looked at him with just the barest glimmer of recognition.

"Colonel Sheppard, I presume."

"Colonel?" Hope flared in Sheppard's eyes for Sumner had called him _Major_.

Rodney simply looked confused until Sumner cleared his throat. "My apologies, John, I was going to present this to you after..."

Sumner gave a twitch of his lips, not bothering to elaborate for the meaning was clear. This was supposed to be the cherry on top of the cake for what should have been the best day of John's life. The ceremony was still scheduled to take place in less than two hours and John had not spoken with Samantha Carter as yet. Instead, he had argued against her inclusion, insisting on them getting hold of McKay. John was surprised when Sumner had agreed to that request, or maybe he just wanted to get this resolved before the bride discovered her groom had cold feet.

"Congratulations, Lt. Colonel Sheppard. The formal ceremony can take place later."

John felt his hopes take a nose dive until he looked back at Rodney, seeing the intelligence lying behind the confusion within the blue eyes. If anyone could solve this mystery then it would be Rodney McKay.

"Thank you, sir. Can I talk to McKay in private, sir?"

At Sumner's nod, John gripped Rodney's arm and pulled him some distance away. He paused and looked into the wary yet inquisitive face of his genius friend, trying to see any sign that this was just some giant ruse being played out upon him, or some nightmare conjured up from too little sleep and the constant fear from the recent Wraith attack. If it was a nightmare, then it was succeeding in scaring him.

"I don't belong here."

Rodney's eyes darted sideways in the oh-so-familiar way he had when someone seemed a little unstable for his peace of mind; his 'Oh God! Why did you choose me to talk to?' look. His lips twitched once or twice.

"Well...neither do I so...perhaps I'd better head on back to the Stargate." He hooked his thumb towards the Atlantis gate.

"Rodney!" John grabbed at his arm as he began to turn away bringing shock and fear to Rodney's eyes. John let go, tilting his head to one side. "I don't know how and I don't know why but...I don't belong here. I have memories of events that could never have taken place, of missions with _you_ by my side."

"Me?"

"Yes, you."

"I was here?"

"Yes. You were my..." John almost said _best friend_ , "...Chief scientist."

"I was chief sci--" Rodney looked excited and pleased but he sobered immediately. "What did you touch?"

"What?"

"A mirror? Did you touch a mirror? You know, you could have spoken with Dr. Carter, she is exceptionally brill--"

"She thinks we're getting married."

Rodney looked both stunned and appalled in equal measure. "But...but I don't even know you!"

"Not us! Her! Carter and me."

"Oh, thank God!"

"Is this some Canadian thing?"

"What?"

John thought about all the news that had reached them from home once they had regained contact with the SGC, and in particular the new laws that gave additional rights to Canadian gays but he decided to drop that subject. Even though the Don't ask, Don't tell policy had applied only to the US military, he could respect Rodney's decision not to advertise his bisexuality. In addition, if he was right about this being one of those parallel universes that he had heard about, then he had no idea how that might have affected the politics back home--or Rodney.

"So _you_ don't think she will take your claim seriously." Rodney stated smugly. "Cold feet."

"Exactly. I don't know her and, under the circumstances I can't trust her."

Rodney snorted. "You don't know me either."

"You're...surprisingly you," John replied with a smile before he narrowed his eyes. "Now, you mentioned a mirror?"

"A Quantum mirror." His hands formed shapes in the air as if that would help it make more sense. "It looks like ordinary mirror but the surface is actually an inter-dimensional vortex leading to parallel universes." He grinned. "Dr. Jackson first discover--"

"I don't recall seeing any mirrors."

Rodney's eyes swept upwards. "Strangely, I can believe that."

"What is it with you and my hair anyway? Hair envy?"

Rodney's hand crept up to card through his own short strands of brown hair. "Yes, that must be it. I've known you for all of five minutes and I'm already envious of your hair."

John could not stop the grin that spread over his face. If Rodney was being sarcastic then he had at least one anchor in this topsy-turvy world. The grin seemed to unnerve Rodney even more.

"So, no mirror?"

"Not that I can recall."

Rodney frowned. "But what if your counterpart from this universe touched the mirror?" His blue eyes were blazing with excitement again. "We really don't know how the mirror actually works and just assumed that both parties needed to be touching it at the same time in order to transpose...but that would require a coincidence on an astronomical scale...or maybe not. If the number of parallel universes is infinite then--"

"Rodney."

"--The possibility of two individuals within--"

"Rodney!"

"What?"

"Can we save the scientific theories until later?"

"Oh, okay...but this is remarkable--"

"Rodney."

"I'm just--" A twitch of a raised eyebrow brought an end to Rodney's diatribe. "Fine. So what do we do next?"

"You're the genius, Rodney."

"Yes. Fine. Let me think." John waited impatiently as Rodney gained that glazed look that meant he was thinking, deep and hard. He came out of it suddenly. "Nope. I've got nothing." John flinched when Rodney snapped his fingers suddenly. "Wait, wait. I have something." He looked at John thoughtfully. "But we need Carter's help."

****

  
_Our Universe_  


Major John Sheppard stared around the mess hall seeing so many faces that he knew and a fair number that were unfamiliar. His first realization that something was wrong was when Miller saluted and called him _Colonel_. He had lost that rank when he disobeyed a direct order to save some men trapped behind enemy lines but he had no regrets. Those men were alive because of him, and that made a huge difference to someone who had been forced to take more lives than he cared to count over the years. He tried never to dwell on the deaths for madness lay down that road. Instead, he concentrated on the living.

Nursing his coffee, compliments of the Daedalus and the supplies she brought with her, he froze when another 'dead' person walked past, feeling a snicker that bordered on hysterics welling up within him.

"I see dead people," he murmured under his breath.

"What?"

John looked up as a complete stranger dropped a tray onto the table and sat in the seat opposite. There were plenty of empty tables so this man had deliberately chosen to sit with him, indicating a certain level of seeming trust or friendship. John picked up his coffee and sipped it slowly, watching the man covertly over the rim of the mug. If he played this right then he might gain even more information.

The stranger looked tired, with dark smudges under bright blue eyes, as if he had not long awoken but had still not gained enough of a decent sleep. His mouth had a downward tilt on one side as if he was constantly fretting, and lines of exhaustion furrowed his brow. Short brown hair was in slight disarray, almost confirming that he had not long awoken even though it had to be lunchtime judging by the food being served. The scowl deepened as the man stared at his tray.

John's eyes dropped to the tray and to the mobile hands that were poking and prodding at the contents. The stranger had not seemed to notice his attention, being too engrossed with picking at the pile of food and whining about the lack of culinary skill and choices available.

"Can you believe it? They travel millions of light years and all they have to offer is lemon chicken. Lemon chicken!" he emphasized, as if that ought to have some meaning.

"So...you're not keen on the lemon chicken."

The man's eyes narrowed. "Oh, good joke, but it won't be so funny when my throat closes up and I turn blue and die."

John bit back on a grin as the man waved his hands around dramatically. Another man sank down next to the stranger but John knew this man's face--Carson Beckett.

"Rodney, Corporal Woods is well aware of your allergies--"

"Perhaps I ought to remind you of exactly why he is aware of my allergies."

"I don't think that's necess--"

But _Rodney_ carried on regardless. "I nearly died."

"That's a wee bit of an exaggeration."

"A wee bit? A _wee bit_ of death by asphyxiation? A _wee bit_ of embarrassment when the Colonel here pulls my pants down in front of everyone and sticks a fucking great needle in my--"

"It was an Epipen--"

"And why was he carrying an Epipen on him anyway? Not that I'm complaining." Rodney turned to stare at John, the million dollar question written in his expressive eyes.

"No, of course not," Beckett muttered under his breath.

John raised an eyebrow at this. Why would he be carrying an Epipen? It wasn't part of his standard medical kit, and certainly not something he would carry around off duty under normal circumstances. As far as he was aware, he had no severe allergies or he would not have passed muster for Black Ops. The blue eyes continued to bore into him, expecting...no...demanding an answer.

"I figured that was pretty obvious," he responded trying to sound as if it was obvious when he really did not have a clue. Perhaps he carried it specifically for the health of the man seated opposite. Yet that would require a depth of friendship or commitment to this Rodney that went beyond mere comradeship in the field but that was not beyond the realms of possibility. Certainly, this Rodney seemed to believe he had the right to join him uninvited, and to discuss personal issues with him.

Rodney's eyes narrowed and he made a displeased sound but seemed content enough with the answer. John decided to change the subject and take a little risk at the same time.

"So...where's Dr. Carter?"

Rodney looked up in embarrassment before talking around a mouthful of food, saying something that sounded like she had been needed urgently on the _Prometheus_. He swallowed the mouthful and grinned across at John sheepishly, gaining a look that hovered between lust and infatuation, his hand pressed over his heart.

"The torch is still burning," he sighed.

John raised both eyebrows at this confession regarding his fiancée, feeling a twinge of annoyance.

"McKay!"

"Oh God!" McKay's eyes rolled as he turned aside to greet the newcomer.

"McKay?" murmured John as Rodney turned to discuss something with a pony-tailed scientist, recalling where he had heard the name before. This was Rodney McKay, the astrophysicist who irritated Sam so much that she had tried to get him thrown out of the Stargate project on several occasions. Having met him, he could see why for the man came across as a pain in the ass, and yet there was something he liked about this McKay, and John had always thought of himself as a good judge of character.

He considered all the intelligence he had gathered since becoming aware that this place was not the Atlantis he knew. Someone was going to great lengths to convince him otherwise but, like the mist-like creatures that had sent him _home_ , they had made fundamental errors. First, he was not a Colonel. Secondly, he had no idea who some of these people were, and he had witnessed the deaths of others who were walking around freely. The only problem was that he had no idea how to break out of this illusion but this McKay had to be here for a reason. He had to be of importance to those creating the illusion. Perhaps he was the close contact observer, using what he learned to tailor the illusion for a better fit.

John was tempted to speak out, just as he had done so last time but he decided to play along for a little while longer. He waited until the pony-tailed scientist had gone.

"McKay, I need to speak with you and Dr. Weir, privately."

"Now?"

"I think now would be a good time."

"Can I...?" He indicated towards his half-eaten meal. Although McKay looked like he could do with skipping a meal or two, John could see that the man was genuinely hungry.

"Sure." John smiled. He could be magnanimous when it suited him, and it might even throw this stranger off his guard.

"Is there anything the matter, Major...I mean Colonel?" Beckett huffed. "All this rank changing takes a little getting used to."

"Yeah," John smiled. Strangely, this Carson Beckett was no different to the one he thought he knew so it seemed odd that whoever was going to all this trouble would put Beckett here but not Sam. "Maybe you should come along too."

He noticed the bewildered look that passed between the two doctors and gave a non-threatening grin. He did not want to make them suspicious of him.

"Aye, maybe I should but, unfortunately, I can't. I've still got injured to treat in the infirmary."

John nodded, knowing his own Beckett had more than enough on his hands with those injured during the Wraith attacks and would have said something similar. He watched as Beckett pushed away from the table but then the doctor looked down at Rodney in disapproval.

"I hope you're not planning to eat all of that, Rodney."

"Certainly not. Some of this is for the Colonel." Rodney beamed at John and John raised his eyebrows in surprise, seeing similar disbelief on Beckett's face before the man shook his head and muttered something as he walked off.

"Has he gone?"

John stared over McKay's shoulder, bemused by the man's antics. "Yeah. He's gone."

McKay started shoveling in more food as if he expected someone to come along and snatch it away from him and John felt an incredible urge to tease the man. "Thought some of that was for me."

"You're a big boy, Colonel. You can manage to get your own," he mumbled around a mouthful, then wailed something in annoyance when John snagged a thick slice of bread.

Until that moment, John had not realized how hungry he was and, much to McKay's continued irritation, he managed to snag several more items off the tray before McKay threatened to take his tray some place else to eat. John could not believe the speed with which McKay finished off the meal that he had poked at with disgust only a short time earlier, wondering if the man had a tough childhood to account for it. He shook his head imperceptibly in annoyance. He could not afford to forget the situation he was in, or this man's part in the poor subterfuge.

John led the way out of the mess hall with McKay barely a step behind.

"So, are you going to let me in on what this is all about or do I have to wait until we reach Elizabeth?" He stopped abruptly. "Colonel? Elizabeth's office is this way." He was waggling his index finger down the corridor that led to the control room.

"She's not in her office."

"I assure you, she was in there just before I joined you for lunch and, judging by the mound of paperwork in front of her, she looked like she would be there for the next ten years."

"Well, she's not there now."

"She's not?"

"No."

"Then where is she?"

"Waiting for us in Jumper One."

"In the Jumper bay?"

John gave him an amused look. "That is where we generally keep the jumpers."

"Oh...yes. Yes, of course."

John continued walking, seemingly paying no attention to McKay but, in truth, he had stretched out all his senses, hearing the faltering footsteps that grew stronger with the decision made. He smiled to himself, listening to the huff of annoyance as McKay caught up with him. They entered the bay side by side and John went straight over to the closest jumper, mentally commanding the hatch to open. He grinned at McKay before stepping inside and walking over to the jumper controls, slipping into the pilot's seat. McKay hovered just inside, bewilderment turning both sides of his mouth in a downward arc. He spun as the hatch sealed behind him and strode over to where John was powering up the jumper.

"What's going on?"

John pulled out his sidearm and aimed it at McKay. "Sit down and shut up, and maybe I won't hurt you."

"What?" His eyes had widened in disbelief and fear, his lips trembling.

John stood up and pistol whipped McKay across the face. He stared hard at the now terrified man sprawled on the floor of the jumper. "Now sit down and shut up."

"Shepp--" John raised his hand again and stared hard into the frightened eyes and McKay fell silent. He crawled to his knees, dragging himself into the co-pilot's seat, one hand gingerly touching his mouth and coming away bloodied. "You hit me," he murmured in disbelief.

Tightening his lips, John forced himself to ignore the puppy-dog hurt in the big, blue eyes. This man was the enemy, and John had to do everything within his power to escape from this illusion, even if it meant killing Rodney McKay.

****

Rodney stared at the strong profile of the man he thought of as his best friend, except best friends did not smash you across the face with the butt of their hand gun unless there was something very wrong with them. Sheppard was manipulating the puddle jumper's controls, applying high level security locks but, otherwise, making no attempt to fire up the engines. He watched the fingers dance across the controls, blending physical and mental commands with customary ease.

"Why are you doing this?"

Sheppard spared a glance but it was cold and ruthless. "When I want you to talk, I will ask the questions. Do you understand?"

The menace in his eyes made Rodney swallow hard. He had seen that look turned on him only once before, when he confronted Sheppard over Chaya, and he had seen it turned on others with far less restraint. The laconic, playful air surrounding John Sheppard could disappear with frightening speed, having lulled an enemy into a sense of false security but Rodney had never been the recipient of that particular chameleon property until now. Instead, he had followed along behind Sheppard like a trusting child even though his 'spidey' sense had been kicking him hard in the cranium since the moment he sat down to share a meal with the man. Now he was in a quandary. Sheppard had already proved he had the capacity for inflicting violence upon him but that warred with Rodney's desperate need to know what was going through the Colonel's head.

"Where are you taking us?"

Rodney flinched as Sheppard pushed up from the pilot's seat suddenly, finding a forearm pressed across his throat, pressing him against the back of the co-pilot seat. Cold eyes were only inches from his and warm breath fanned across his bruised face. He could not read the darkened eyes but he could sense the intent as Sheppard bore down harder using his body weight, choking off Rodney's air supply. Rodney grabbed at the forearm but could gain no leverage. He started to panic, desperately trying to draw in a breath as he became light-headed, black dots appearing before his eyes from oxygen deprivation.

"Asphyxiation isn't a pleasant way to go," he heard Sheppard whisper harshly. "But you ought to know that already."

Sheppard released him suddenly and Rodney gasped for breath, sucking in lungfuls as his hand rubbed his sore throat. His head snapped sideways as Sheppard ripped the radio mike from him, only recalling its existence now he no longer had access to it. He watched Sheppard covertly, trying not to make any moves, sudden or otherwise that would cause him any more injuries.

"Okay, that'll do it." Sheppard swiveled in his seat and looked at Rodney closely but Rodney could not meet his intense stare. "Who are you?"

"Wh--What?" Rodney coughed.

"I'm not in the mood for playing games. Who are you? And where are we?"

"I--I'm Rodney McKay and we're on--"

Rodney's head snapped sideways from the blow as Sheppard made a buzzer sound. "Wrong answer. Let's try again. Who are you and where are we?"

"I-I don't underst--" He broke off with a small cry as Sheppard hit him again.

"Now, why don't you tell me the truth and make this a whole lot easier on both of us?"

Rodney looked up at Sheppard through shock-glazed eyes. None of the blows were particularly hard but Rodney had no clue what to say if the truth meant nothing. How was he to reason with...?

The communication panel flared into life and Elizabeth's voice filtered into the jumper. "Colonel Sheppard?"

"Elizabeth," he stated, almost amiably.

"Have you seen Rodney?"

"Elizabeth! Colonel--" His mouth snapped shut, eyes squeezing closed tightly as the muzzle of the 9mm handgun pressed firmly into the center of his forehead.

"Rodney?"

"Rodney's with me. He's...helping me out with a little problem."

"I see. Perhaps you can remind Rodney that we have a meeting scheduled in one hour and I expected to see the maintenance report before then."

"Sorry, Elizabeth. We kind of lost track of time here. I'll see that Rodney sends you a report real soon."

Rodney opened his eyes, not liking the sound of that. Sheppard's drawled words were at total odds to the coldness in his eyes as he continued to press the gun against Rodney's forehead, ensuring Rodney's silence.

"Okay. Tell Rodney that I'll expect that report later."

"Will do. Sheppard out."

The connection broke and Rodney gave a ragged sigh of relief as Sheppard lowered the gun; Rodney gathered his courage. "Who are you? Where's Colonel Sheppard?"

Sheppard leaned in, lips pulling back from his teeth in a snarl. " _Major_ Sheppard."

"Major?" Rodney felt appalled, wondering if this might be some kind of post traumatic stress disorder with Sheppard losing all memory of the long months spent in the Pegasus galaxy. That could explain why he failed to recognize him because they had met only a week before stepping through the Stargate to Atlantis. Except, if Sheppard had lost his memory then how could he know the jumper controls so intimately?

"No. You're not Sheppard. Major or otherwise. I don't know who you are but the John Sheppard I know would never--"

Rodney faltered. He had intended to say that the John Sheppard he knew would never have harmed him this way but Sheppard had always been capable of hurting him and others. He had shot and killed Colonel Sumner to prevent him from telling the Wraith where to find Earth. He had stalked and killed Genii soldiers through Atlantis, causing the deaths of many more when he raised the shield as they tried to gate into the city. Sheppard had murdered a Wraith prisoner in cold blood. It did not matter that every moment he lived, _Bob_ was feeding information back to the others of his kind in the fast approaching hive ships. Sheppard had taken the Wraith's life without pity and without any sign of remorse. There were other occasions too, times when Sheppard had taken on that hard, uncompromising look and stared down an enemy, ready to pull the trigger in the line of duty.

Why had Rodney never seen this before? Or maybe he had been too wrapped up in his own need to survive that he had refused to dwell on the ways and means. Sheppard was a soldier, trained to hunt, interrogate and kill if necessary, and if he had lost all knowledge of the people he had come here to protect then the soldier within him would come to the fore.

Sheppard was staring at him now, in confusion, having not expected to have Rodney question his identity. A chilling smile broke across the handsome face. "Let's get back to me asking you the questions."

****

  
_Mirror Universe_  


John could not believe what he was hearing. Once he had gotten over the delighted shock of meeting Samantha Carter, who seemed to have decided against military service in this alternate reality, he started to wonder what his Rodney could have seen in her. She was beautiful and she was brilliant, exactly as his Rodney had described her on too many evenings spent in retrospection, but there the likeness ended. This Carter held none of the inner strength and peace that seemed to ooze from all the SG-1 reports, and from Rodney's tales of that famous team's exploits. Her attitude towards this Rodney bordered on contempt, an attitude that seemed totally unwarranted under the circumstances. When Rodney started to explain what could have happened, she actually sneered at him, trying to find holes in his theory and expending more thought on trying to sweet talk _him_ out of believing in Rodney than in putting forward any alternative theories.

John unclasped her arms from around his neck, feeling more than a little embarrassed by her unwanted attention. She gave him a sweet smile that did not reach her gorgeous blue eyes.

"If this is about Jack?"

"Jack?"

"My point is," Rodney carried on regardless, "We have no idea how the Quantum mirror works. Your theory that it requires a void for the transferring person in the alternate reality to slip into is simply that...an unproved theory based on a single instance where Dr. Jackson transported to a reality where his counterpart had met his death some time before. What if you were wrong?"

"How dare you counter my theory without any proof to the contrary?"

Rodney frowned. "I'm not trying to discredit you. Just saying that new information might make you want to rethink that theory and--"

"I know exactly what you are trying to do, Dr. McKay. You coveted this role as Chief Scientist of the Atlantis expedition and you cannot handle the fact that I won it over you due to your own incompetence as a scientist." She smiled maliciously. "And if you spent less time with Quinn being intimate and more time working then maybe you might have achieved scholastic recognition."

Rodney took on that hurt look and, remarkably, he did not offer back a cutting remark that would have put Carter back in her place but John felt under no such restraint.

"Now hang on a minute. What he does in his private life is no concern of yours, and I don't see you offering up any better explanations for why I am here." He hooked a thumb at Rodney. "If his theory holds any water, whatsoever, then I want to pursue it as I want to go home."

Her angry eyes flitted towards Rodney as if she blamed him entirely for John's reprimand.

"Now, is there, or is there not one of these quantum mirrors on this Atlantis?"

"I...I don't know. We're still checking through the city."

"Could your Colonel Sheppard have come across one of these mirrors, say...in the last seven hours?"

"Possibly," she said begrudgingly. "He and one of the teams were searching through a new sector earlier today."

"Which sector?"

Her eyes took on a plaintive look. "We are getting married in just over an hour."

"No. _We're_ not getting married at all. You and this other John Sheppard are getting married, and if you want that to go ahead then you'd better help us get your Sheppard back so I can go back to where I belong."

She stared at him hard. "I'll check with the team and see if I can pinpoint the last location searched."

"Well...you do that."

John watched her leave. He spent a moment staring around the office that Carter had claimed on Atlantis, seeing the citations, certificates and awards plastering the walls along with photos of her with, obviously, important persons. His Rodney's office was barely used and surprisingly devoid of such trappings. John gave a small smile, recalling how Rodney had explained it away by saying he did not need pieces of paper to show how incredibly talented and intelligent he was, keeping such treasures for his personal quarters. John turned to the very quiet Rodney McKay who was standing beside him.

"So. You and Jonas Quinn?"

Rodney blushed in embarrassment. "Our personal relationship is none of your--"

"Hey, I'm not judging you." He narrowed his eyes. "Just curious."

"Well, there's no need to be that curious as it's over. He returned to Kelowna a few days ago."

"Did you love him?"

Rodney looked incredulous. "I hardly think that's any of your--"

"Yeah, yeah. None of my business." He looked around. "So, how come you're not chief scientist around here?"

"I..." He seemed to abort whatever he had started to say. "Dr. Carter was eminently more suited to the position. When she asked for it, she got it."

"And you?" John looked at him carefully. "Where are you in the scheme of things?"

"I'm about to take over as chief scientist on the Antarctic outpost." Rodney seemed very proud of that fact and John had to smile but his smile faltered. This Rodney was so similar to his own, just a little more browbeaten, as if he had suffered too many setbacks in his life and the loss had stripped away some of the fire from his soul. Yet, echoes of his Rodney remained and, as much as he liked this slightly mellower version, he wanted his Rodney back. He wanted his friend.

"Tell me more about this reality."

Rodney gave a small laugh. "I'm not sure I know what to say."

"Tell me about Carter."

He looked a little uncertain. "She was chief scientist on the Stargate project and she continued with her work even following the loss of her husband."

"Husband?"

"Colonel O'Neill."

"Jack." John nodded, understanding the earlier reference to that name now.

"Everett took over as head of SG-l but we were losing ground in the fight against the Goa'uld so when Anubis came back some months later--"

"Anubis? Wasn't he the Egyptian god of the dead or something?"

"Or something," Rodney replied with a soft smile. "Anubis destroyed several whole cities before Everett returned with the Ancient database downloaded into his head. Everett led us to the Ancient outpost in Antarctica and activated defense systems that had remained dormant beneath the ice for ten thousand years. After Anubis and his fleet were destroyed, Everett stepped into the equivalent of cryogenic freezer in the hope that, one day, the Asgard would make contact with Earth again and save him, just as they saved Jack O'Neill many years before."

"And did they?"

"No. Not yet." He looked downhearted at that. "For a time, I held the chief scientist position at Antarctica but when Dr. Carter asked for a transfer to the Ancient outpost, contacts within the Pentagon made sure it happened, and I was sent back to Area 51." He looked away. "I've been working there alongside Dr. Quinn ever since."

"Do you miss him?" Rodney bristled again and John responded quickly, "I know...none of my business."

Silence fell between them and John had to bite into his lower lip because, for some unknown reason, he wanted to make it his business. He wanted to know if Rodney was pining for Jonas Quinn. His Rodney could have formed a similar attachment with the Quinn in their own reality though it seemed unlikely because their Quinn had spent months as part of SG-1 before returning to Kelowna. Yet Rodney had known the Kelownan personally so who was to say that he had not also known him intimately?

A feeling akin to jealousy flared through John that if Quinn had won Rodney's heart in this reality, then he might have won it in John's own reality too. Why that should bother John was a mystery.

****

  
_Our Universe_  


John stared across at the frightened man, watching his blue eyes flicker from one part of the jumper to another as if trying to formulate an escape plan but John could not afford to allow this man to get away. He needed answers. He wished he could remember what had happened to him but his last memory seemed too uneventful to be the cause of this nightmare....

****

**Hours Earlier:**

"The internal sensors show no life signs for any Wraith in the city."

John looked across at Gall and Lt. Lorenzo with a grimace. "Yeah, and they didn't show any life on that ten thousand-year-old human cargo ship either but Abrams and Magoto are still dead."

He saw Gall flinch, knowing the man had originally been on that mission but they had been forced to turn back only an hour out from Atlantis because Gall had not coped well within the confined space. How anyone could get motion sickness on one of those jumpers still amazed John as the inertia dampeners made the ride almost too smooth. He preferred to feel the buffeting and the G-forces but they only kicked in during the most violent maneuvers at top speed. Magoto had replaced Gall and John could recall him being so excited to be a part of the mission at first. Sam had spent most of the trip in the back with her laptop perched on her knees, going over equations and putting out her theories for the weapons' platform that the Ancients had left at the edge of the star system. As usual, Sam displayed her brilliance, battering down any theories put forward by the other two scientists, although John thought he overheard Magoto mutter hours later that she was recycling one of his earlier theories and putting it across without giving him due credit. At the time, that had annoyed John because Sam had pulled their collective asses out of the fire on so many occasions. He resented anyone putting her down. Yet now, over a month later, he was having a few doubts about her but he wondered if that was pre-marital nerves talking.

As he walked through a darkened, unexplored sector of the city, he let his mind drift over her, seeing her brilliance but also her flaws. She did not like to share unless her name was prominently associated with the discovery or paper. She even ensured that she was credited on the papers of all the scientists who worked for her, even if her contribution had not been extensive. This had been a source of annoyance among her staff if rumors were to be believed. John knew that this need to be recognized was a symptom of her low self-esteem, though he thought she had started to grow in confidence during their time spent in the Pegasus galaxy. Her quick thinking had saved them all so many times, though John wondered if a few more might have lived if she had listened to her staff, especially that little Czech guy, Zelenka.

Zelenka was dead. Drained by a Wraith as he and two soldiers battled their way down to the ZPM control room where Stackhouse was waiting to initialize the system using his natural command of the ATA gene. One of the soldiers managed to get through and Stackhouse had followed Sam's instructions over the radio, managing to get the shield up in time to stop the vast majority of incoming Wraith darts. Several had struck the city though, causing terrible damage but, fortunately, not in any strategic places.

His thoughts were interrupted when a door slid open before him. Holding his P90 in full readiness, John stepped inside the room to find it empty apart from an ornamental, full length mirror standing a little way forward from the far wall. The strangeness of its reflection drew John in closer and he carded a hand through his unruly hair with a smile, watching his image closely. As he turned to walk away, he thought he saw movement out of the corner of his eye so he spun back, gun raised, only to catch his reflection shimmering strangely as if the mirror was vibrating. He stalked forward, veering to one side and aiming at the space directly behind the mirror but there was nothing there. No hidden Wraith or even any dust bunnies. John moved back in front of the mirror and reached out a finger, brushing it over the ornamental frame, tracing the filigree patterning with his finger tip. The surface rippled again, losing its solid reflection momentarily and he let his finger glide over its surface, feeling a strange shiver race through his body, rippling along from his finger. He shuddered and stared back into the mirror before turning away. He'd report this to Sam and see what she could make of it.

When he reached the corridor, John frowned as his life signs detector showed no trace of anyone else in this sector. He tapped his radio.

"Lorenzo? Where are you?" Only static came back at first so he altered the frequency. "Lt. Lorenzo, status report."

"Sir? I'm in the jumper bay."

"You are, are you? I'm on my way." With an exaggerated huff of annoyance, John retraced his steps back to the transporter, already formulating the reprimand he intended to dish out to the lieutenant for leaving with the city exploration team without contacting him first.

As John stepped out of the transporter closest to the jumper bay, Miller snapped off a salute as he passed by. "Colonel."

John froze in bewilderment but Miller had already turned the corner by the time he came out of it. He looked down at his uniform and noticed the rank insignia of a Colonel, the rank he had hoped to regain one day....

****

John's thoughts returned to the present to find he was staring at McKay in confusion, having not expected to have the scientist question his identity but, perhaps this was all part of the ploy. "Let's get back to me asking you the questions."

"No."

"No? You're not exactly in any position to say no to me."

McKay straightened, jaw jutting out obstinately. "Hit me again, if that's what you want but I'm not answering any more of your questions until you tell me what you've done with Colonel Sheppard."

His voice was quavering, his eyes terrified as if mentally anticipating another blow, and John's respect for this McKay went up a notch even though he knew McKay would break the moment he raised his fist or gun. Yet there was something more in his eyes than fear for himself.

"You say you don't know me, yet you know the city." McKay's words were a stammering rush. "When did it start appearing wrong? Were you near some piece of Ancient technology? Did you touch something...anything?"

John narrowed his eyes, recalling the strange mirror with its shimmering reflection.

The blue eyes took on a pleading quality. "I only want to help."

"A mirror."

"What?"

"I touched a mirror."

"A mirror?" His eyes flitted around from side to side as if trying to capture some rapidly moving thoughts. They focused on him abruptly, his mouth forming a little 'O' as if he had been struck physically by a thought. "Large mirror...ornate frame with a...a sort of shimmery surface?"

"Yeah...that's it." John leaned in closer at the surprisingly accurate description.

"A Quantum mirror," McKay murmured and then asked more strongly. "Where? Somewhere in the city?"

John noticed that McKay's voice was losing the tremors of fear, his eyes growing excited, just as Sam's eyes grew brighter as she closed in on some amazing new discovery.

"What's a quantum mirror?"

"Ahh...Daniel Jackson first came across one on...on...oh, I forgot what planet designation but it acts like a conduit between two parallel universes simply by touching its surface. It allows a transition from one alternate reality to another instantaneously--"

"Like in Star Trek."

"What? Oh, yes...yes. That was a good episode and yes, it illustrates the idea exactly. This mirror universe parallels...although that's not strictly true as parallel implies taking the exact same direction but just slightly displaced, although maybe the parallelism is actually unique to individuals rather than to the universe as a whole..."

John could tell the scientist was rambling and he needed him to focus because this was starting to make some sense. "McKay?"

"A fork in the road, a decision taken one way in one universe, but taken a different way in another, leading down a similar path but displaced like the two rails of a track." His eyes were focused on his hands, held out before him as if trying to mimic a railway track. He looked up with eyes widening in renewed fear as John grabbed his wrists, and John held the eyes in an intense stare.

"If this is all true, then how do I get back?"

"I--I don't know." This was not the answer John needed or wanted and his irritation must have shown on his face because those blue eyes widened a fraction more. "Maybe...Maybe if we go back to the mirror--"

"Okay," John drawled, preparing to stand but he froze on capturing unnatural movement in the bay outside the jumper. Shadows moved where they ought to be still, the dull reflection of metal off metal and the slight rock of a crate. His sharp eyes lifted the shapes of crouched men from those shadows, and he smiled. This was why he had chosen the jumper. Its heavy shielding would prevent anyone from attacking, especially while he had one of their own as a hostage, plus he could escape from the city through the Stargate to another world if need be, taking his prisoner with him. They would never be able to follow. Though if McKay was right then leaving Atlantis was no solution to his problem.

The communications panel on the jumper crackled into life. "Colonel Sheppard. This is Dr. Elizabeth Weir. I know you are holding Dr. McKay against his will and I want you to release him."

John's eyes flitted across to where McKay was trying to pull away from him, still held within John's grip on his wrists. John saw the pain-filled expression, knowing he was gripping those wrists too tightly. The bright eyes focused upon him.

"You have to trust us," McKay implored.

Despite everything Sam had said about Rodney McKay, John's sixth sense told him he _could_ trust him and it had rarely let him down. He released McKay's hands, watching intently as McKay alternated between rubbing each of the sore wrists while the incredibly blue eyes never left John's face.

"May I?"

McKay indicated towards the communications panel, giving John momentary doubts but his sixth sense had only let him down that once, with Chaya and his belief that Sam's animosity towards the beautiful priestess was borne solely out of her jealousy. If this was a trick then by allowing McKay to take control of the situation, he would be giving up the high ground. Yet, something in the bright eyes told him this was no ruse. He gave the slightest nod and watched carefully as McKay pressed the symbol to open up communications.

"Elizabeth?"

"Rodney! Are you all right?"

"I'm--I'm fine. I think I know what's going on here."

"Why don't you and Colonel Sheppard step outside the jumper so we can discuss this?"

John shook his head, almost smiling as McKay's expression changed from one of hope to one of semi-despair. "No. Col-- Major Sheppard wants to discuss this first and then..." McKay depressed the switch. "And then what?" he asked John.

"I lead you to the Quantum mirror."

"Oh yes." He opened communications again and John leaned back as McKay spewed out the same theory he had outlined moments before, concerning the Quantum mirror and its way of transporting individuals between parallel universes. His hopes rose another notch when Weir recognized the incident and mentioned Daniel Jackson by name before McKay did.

"Colonel--"

" _Major_ Sheppard," John ground out, correcting her.

"Major," she replied respectfully. "I understand how strange this must all sound to you but if Dr. McKay believes that you have exchanged places with your counterpart from our reality then it is in our best interest to help you return so we can recover our John Sheppard."

John weighed this up against the respect he had seen for the John Sheppard from this reality and decided it was worth the gamble. He touched the panel that lowered the shield and the ramp, standing quietly with hands in full view as several soldiers took position by the ramp, wraith stunners trained into the interior of the jumper. John nodded to himself, reassured by their intent to keep him alive. No one moved.

"McKay?"

John tilted his head towards the exit and watched as enlightenment struck McKay and he pushed to his feet, walking stiffly out of the jumper as if he expected to be shot in the back. He was grabbed as soon as his feet touched the ramp, pulled out of the line of fire and to safety. John smiled, admiring the professionalism of the soldiers, knowing someone had trained them well. On Weir's command, he began to walk forward with hands clasped upon his head. He stopped once he was clear of the jumper and allowed one soldier to frisk him for concealed weapons while the others remained still with wraith stunners trained upon him. Weir approached as soon as the soldier gave the all clear. He had seen her eyes rake across McKay first, taking in the bruising to his face and neck from where John had struck him. Her face had clouded over in anger and concern but she schooled her features to neutrality quickly.

John let his eyes dart across the hangar bay to where Beckett was tending to McKay, shining a light into the man's eyes to check for any signs of concussion. When Beckett met his eyes across the small expanse separating them, there was both anger and sadness in them. John felt the first stab of guilt, for McKay had shown no hostility towards him throughout what must have been a terrifying ordeal for the man.

"Major?"

Weir indicated for him to accompany her, placing more trust in him than he most likely deserved, even with the armed escort. As he walked alongside her, he hoped that he had not misplaced his trust in her or in McKay.

****

  
_Mirror Universe_  


Carter led them through darkened corridors at the far western edge of the city, stopping once she reached the western pier. As he approached, Rodney could hear the sound of the sea washing against the city walls and he could smell the fresh scent of the ocean pushing aside the dank smell of rotting sea creatures and mold. Lichen had started to overwhelm the pier, and sea moss making the way treacherous underfoot. According to Carter, one of the Wraith darts had struck this area during the siege, breaking open part of the city and leaving the gaping wound to fester. In time, engineers would repair the damage but, in the aftermath of the battle, the only concern had been the possibility of the Wraith pilot transporting down and going in hibernation.

Sheppard, Lorenzo and Gall had a two-part agenda in this sector. First, to ensure no Wraith had hidden away here and second, to assess the structural damage and notify the science teams of any artifacts that might need to be recovered before they were further damaged by the sea.

By rights, Sheppard should not have been leading the team as he had a more pressing engagement that day--his wedding. This made Rodney wonder about the man. Had he gone on this search and recovery team because he was trying to use up nervous energy from pre-marital nerves, as a way of dealing with the anticipation? Or had he wanted to be alone so he could think about the commitment he was about to make, no longer certain he was making the right decision?

Rodney knew he could not judge that Colonel's motives by the version of Sheppard walking beside him. This Sheppard had spent all his time on Atlantis with the Rodney McKay of his own reality and not with Samantha Carter. This Sheppard might not even have met the other Carter in his own universe, which would explain his lack of implicit trust in her, though Rodney had a feeling Sheppard held a certain amount of respect for his own universe's Carter nonetheless.

Silently, Rodney wondered how different his life could have been if he had been the Rodney McKay of this Sheppard's reality. Would he have been happier both professionally and personally? It was easy to believe that the grass was greener on the other side but he had only this Sheppard's trust in him to support any theory that he might have found acceptance by both his peers and the military in that other universe. Yet he had commanded the respect of at least one person in this one--Jonas Quinn. Would he have even known Jonas in this Sheppard's universe or would their paths have diverged long before they could form any kind of relationship? In his world, Atlantis had been a dream that slipped through his fingers leaving him with the dry heat of Nevada and the infamous Area 51 as little in the way of compensation. Though, judging by the danger the Atlantis expedition had encountered in the Pegasus galaxy, perhaps Atlantis had not been safest place to be posted to anyway.

Rodney paused several steps behind the Colonel as Dr. Carter tried to get her bearings amid the twisted mass of metal and stone, letting his eyes rove over the profile of the man from the top of his dark, spiky hair down the lean but muscular frame to his standard issue boots. Sheppard had innate grace and power, and a handsome face with eyes that seemed to reflect every color under the sun. They were green now, reflecting the algae clinging to the walls and floor, and yet tinged with blue from the calm sea that lay beyond. Sunlight caught at the tips of his hair, stripping some of the darkness away from the strands and leaving them a deep brown. The man was more than handsome, he was beautiful and Rodney felt his heart skip a beat in a rush of unexpected lust and adoration.

When Sheppard turned without warning, Rodney felt the heat rise in his face at being caught staring. Quickly, he turned away, hoping that his momentary slip had gone unnoticed but when Rodney looked back, Sheppard was still looking at him with an expression Rodney dared not decipher. Bewilderment and awe passed across his face in equal measure as if he had seen Rodney a thousand times and yet never truly looked at him until this moment. Rodney cringed inside, waiting for the handsome face to twist in abhorrence but Carter stepped between them, her blue eyes sending daggers in Rodney's direction before she captured Sheppard's attention. Rodney had seen her jealous look before, though usually her jealousy was aimed more in a professional capacity rather than personal.

He sighed softly. He liked women almost as much as he liked men, especially women with a more masculine appeal, and in particular those with short blond hair and with firm, well-toned curves in all the right places. He liked uniforms too, and Carter looked good in her Atlantis beige science jacket and pants, with the tight fitting blue science shirt accentuating those curves and setting off the color of her deep blue eyes to perfection.

When he first saw her back in the SGC, he was infatuated with her. She was everything he had always dreamed of in a woman. That she was also his intellectual equal was a bonus until he started to work alongside her. Her insecurity and her need to control every situation left him stifled and barely tolerated by those around him. She would listen to everything he said and then contort his proposals so they came out completely different and often unfeeling, only to twist the idea back moments later so it appeared as if she had gleaned some brilliant insight out of his _reasonably competent scientific ability_.

It never mattered how hard he tried to explain the truth for no one believed him over the word of the legendary Dr. Samantha Carter. The military types did not understand a single word of the theory behind any of his ideas and Carter ensured that she gave just enough credit to make it seem like he was attacking her competency rather than defending his own. He knew his abrasive personality only served to worsen his situation as others refused to look beyond it, calling him arrogant, and he refused to temper it just to become one of the boys. All they ever saw was the end results anyway--for good or bad. Though, until he worked with Samantha Carter, the results had generally been good.

His promising career took a nose dive on the day he was brought into the SGC for the first time, from which it never truly recovered. When the Jaffa Teal'c died in the gate buffer, Carter insisted that she could have saved him had it not been for Rodney McKay but he could not prove differently. Her insinuations cost him several years of exile in Russia but he had refused to let it get to him at the time, using it as an opportunity to continue studying the Stargate technology and the Naquadah that powered it.

If that had been his only contact with her then perhaps he would have found the recognition he needed eventually but then Anubis appeared. As the X-302 climbed into the atmosphere, Rodney knew there was a strong chance that it would not release the Stargate in time. They needed to override some of the inbuilt protocols to give O'Neill a few more seconds that could mean the difference between life and death for him. Rodney leaned over and attempted to input the subroutine but Carter pushed him back refusing to accept his assistance and, by the time he could explain what he was trying to do, it was too late for O'Neill.

She blamed him, of course. She said his interference had cost her those vital seconds in which she could have saved Jack O'Neill, and Hammond believed her. The look on Hammond's face warned him that he would never be welcomed at the SGC again, and probably booted off the Stargate project completely if the General had his way. Only one person present might have been able to refute her claim but he was treated with as much contempt by Carter and the military as Rodney, at that was Jonas Quinn.

Later, as Rodney watched the clouds through the airplane window on his journey back to Area 51, he stopped to think about her actions. Only someone with incredible intelligence could accomplish such a cover-up and it confounded him that she even felt the need to try for no one would have blamed her under the circumstances. She was a genius. She had accomplished so many great deeds that she had no reason to feel insecure around her peers and yet she had treated Jonas with the same fear and disdain. She had stolen his ideas too, and prevented him from reaching his full potential until the day Hammond released him from Cheyenne Mountain.

The only silver lining from that cloudy day had been Jonas Quinn and the quickly forged relationship that had saved Rodney's sanity over these past years. He might not have ever been in love with Jonas, but he did love him on some level nonetheless. Their relationship was built on need for human companionship rather than on lust, though Rodney enjoyed the quiet companionship too, and if their sex life had not exactly been full of passion then it had at least been comforting.

As Carter began to outline the various paths they could follow from the western pier through the city, Rodney let his mind drift away, recalling the first time he and Jonas slept together.

****

**Flashback...**

The latest attempt to close down the Stargate had failed and Rodney had no ideas left. He was exhausted after three days with little sleep, not even having the opportunity to sleep on the plane from Area 51 as he studied the data being streamed to him from the SGC. They had wanted to bring him up to speed before he arrived in the hope that he might be able to brainstorm a way to save the planet with Dr. Carter, heavily relying on the Area 51 Director's testimonials to his brilliance in Stargate technology. However, once more Carter refused to give any of his ideas due consideration though, admittedly, most failed during simulation because of the hundreds of missing feedback signals within Carter's computer DHD interface. Once more, he cursed the incident with Teal'c that had destroyed the Russian DHD because they could have used that right about now.

At a total loss, he stared out of the control room window down into the gate room, spotting Jonas Quinn staring up at the active gate thoughtfully. Although he had seen the Kelownan hanging around, no one had bothered to introduce them and Carter had made no attempt to use the Kelownans knowledge of the Naquadah.

"What do you think the little Alien guy's doing down there?"

Carter went down to investigate. When she returned with her brilliant plan to open up the roof and removed the Stargate, taking it out of the Earth's atmosphere where it could explode harmlessly in space, Rodney knew who had given her that idea.

As the Stargate was lifted away, he approached Jonas Quinn, learning within seconds that this man was no simpleton but an exceptionally talented and brilliant individual who was being wasted within the SGC. Yet Jonas merely shrugged off the compliments and Rodney's insistence that he say something to Hammond, leaving Rodney feeling exasperated.

Rodney stormed off, deciding to find some comfort in whatever food was being offered in the mess hall. Barely had he taken his seat before Jonas joined him. He looked up in a mixture of shock and irritation only to meet Jonas's smiling eyes.

"Yes?" he asked, not used to the company, only to gain a grin as Jonas started eating. Several mouthfuls later, Jonas stared at Rodney with obvious interest that went beyond casual.

" _You_ are the first person to treat me with anything other than contempt."

For once, Rodney used the cover of a mouthful of food to assess the situation rather than disregard social niceties as usual. Being sociable was not a strong trait for him. His parents had tried to instill good manners into him but he discovered very early on in life that he really could not be bothered with wasting precious time on inconsequential gestures with idiots, non-entities and fools.

Having only just met Jonas, Rodney had not quite placed him into any particular category. Certainly, Jonas was not an idiot and it was too soon to call him a non-entity and he did not know him well enough to determine if his actions relating to Carter were those of a fool or a very wise man.

"Dr. Jackson was well liked."

Jonas raised both eyebrows, and Rodney felt a little heat in his face for stating the blatantly obvious but Jonas took the sting out of his stare with another smile.

"I like you." Jonas tilted his head to one side. "I'd like to show you how much."

"You would?" Rodney asked nervously, uncertain if he was reading this right. Jonas responded with a lascivious grin, his eyes raking down Rodney's body and then back up to fixate on his mouth for several long seconds before traveling back to Rodney's eyes. There was no mistaking his intentions and Rodney felt his mouth go bone dry. Unable to talk, he nodded his head slightly, watching as Jonas swallowed a last mouthful of his meal before pushing up to his feet. Rodney followed a few steps behind, his mind numbed into consenting by the raging need of his body.

Jonas led him to his quarters, standing to one side to allow Rodney to enter first. With a nervous swallow, Rodney stepped inside the nondescript room that looked more like a prison cell than personal quarters. The door closed softly behind them and Rodney startled as the lock clicked into place.

A warm body pressed up behind him, hot hands pushing up beneath his shirt to trace patterns of fire across his flesh. He shivered as teeth nipped at his throat while clever fingers found the tight nub of a nipple and rolled it between thumb and forefinger, sending sparks of desire through his body. Rodney obeyed the nonverbal commands as Jonas stripped the clothes from both of their bodies. Hands upon his shoulders pushed him face down on the narrow bed; a pillow shoved under his hips to raise his ass. He gasped as slippery fingers pushed inside with little preamble, feeling almost virginal because it had been so long since anyone touched him there with any sexual intimacy.

The fingers stroked deep inside, opening him for more and he felt a little saddened for their loss until he felt the press of Jonas's cock against the loosened muscle. He tried to relax but the muscle burned as the thick shaft pushed inside. Once Jonas was fully sheathed, one hand on his hip drew Rodney back, raising his ass higher as the other hand pushed Rodney's shoulders to the bed in total submission. Fingers slipped beneath his body, wrapping around his flaccid cock and stroking it back to life.

Rodney tried to focus on the sensations, tried to let go of all the worries and questions crowding his mind but it was difficult. In his mind's eye, he could visualize the Stargate's slow progress to Peterson air base where it would be strapped onto a C-17 for transportation to Area 51. So little time remained before it overloaded and destroyed the whole planet and he still had so much to do, if only Carter would allow him to assist. Even as he felt Jonas gasp in climax, feeling the heat of his ejaculate filling his ass, the image persisted, only fragmenting momentarily as his own body overloaded on sensations.

They lay together afterwards, with Rodney sprawled on his back half under Jonas in the narrow confines of the bed, and feeling empty without Jonas inside him, yet grateful for the warm weight of his body. He felt sore too but it was a good sort of pain, one that reminded him that he was still alive and wanted, if only for that moment in time.

The internal communications flared into life.

"Dr. McKay. You are needed in the control room in fifteen minutes."

Rodney sighed and acknowledged the call, not caring that it could be traced back to Jonas Quinn's quarters. Before he could untangle his limbs from Jonas's, he felt warm lips brush a kiss against his as Jonas leaned over him.

"I want to do this again some day," Jonas murmured.

Two days later, Jonas got his wish in Rodney's impersonal quarters at Area 51.

****

"This way," Carter stated, drawing in closer to Sheppard, dragging Rodney from his memories while, simultaneously, shutting Rodney out of any conversation completely, so his thoughts returned to those comfortable nights lying with Jonas.

Even after all these months, sex with Jonas was still good but nothing exceptional. It relieved a scratch he could not itch otherwise, taking the tension out of his body even if it did little to bring order to his chaotic thoughts. He never completely shut down except for that split second when his climax overwhelmed him, and once it was done with, they would lie quietly together in the darkness of the room, petting gently before rolling over and going sleep.

Perhaps, in the early days, the sex had been a little better as they each sought to discover what touches brought the most pleasure but that period of exploration had waned pretty quickly as they fell into a nightly routine of offering comfort rather than joy. Yet he missed the feel of Jonas's warm body lying close; missed the sound of his even breaths as he slept beside him. He missed being able to reach out and find another person there, someone who accepted him for what he was; someone who understood his loneliness and respected his abilities.

As he trailed after Sheppard down the dark corridors, Carter rambled on with some complex theory on how the Quantum mirror worked. He did not agree and snorted softly. Sheppard cut Carter off abruptly and turned to Rodney.

"What do you think?"

"I-I wasn't really--" Sheppard held his eyes with a strong commanding presence; patient yet questioning eyes, as if he truly wanted to hear Rodney's theories.

"It might be a simple matter of touching the mirror."

"And you gained this knowledge from what computer simulation?" Carter asked snidely, knowing Rodney had rarely been given the opportunity to study the actual device first hand. She placed her hand on Sheppard's arm. "McKay is all theory and no real world experience...but I have both."

"I'd still like to hear what he has to say."

Rodney snapped his mouth closed once he realized he was gaping at Sheppard.

"I studied the mirror in Area 51 looking at the power source, trying to determine the inter-dimensional equations used to calculate which parallel universes offered viable options for transposition. You have to realize that the number of alternate realities for any given individual is infinite and you probably won't exist in a fair number of them. It's not just the decisions that we make in our own lives that alter the outcome but also the decisions made by the people surrounding us. Take this situation. In your reality, I was the chief scientist of the Atlantis Expedition--" His eyes flickered towards Carter, seeing her stiffen in annoyance as if he had somehow usurped her authority. In a sense he had, but not in this reality.

"We're not here to stroke your ego, McKay," she stated sweetly enough but venom dripped from her words.

"I'm just saying, a decision made somewhere in the past altered the timeline so that Dr. Carter rather than I became the chief scientist--"

"In my reality," Sheppard turned to Carter, "You're a Colonel in the United States Air force. Highly respected and considered an expert in a dozen scientific fields. You chose to stay at Stargate Command rather than take the science post at Antarctica, taking over the leadership of SG-1 after Colonel O'Neill was promoted to General."

Her eyes had widened. "I was going to enlist but my father was dead set against it. I sat outside the recruitment office for nearly two hours before I decided he was right and turned away." Her eyes took on a saddened expression before hardening. "I don't regret my decision."

Rodney felt like saying that he did because he had lost out on so much, and not all of it was professional. Looking at Sheppard, he wished he could have known this man, wished he could have worked with him. Perhaps they might even have been friends, or maybe even lovers. He felt the heat rise to his cheeks again as the thought of making love with Sheppard assailed his senses. Viciously he shoved those thoughts aside before he could conjure up images to go with them and carried on with his theory.

"My point is, the Ancients must have had a way of controlling which alternate reality was accessed in order to be able to return to their own reality afterwards."

"Like a dial home device?"

"No," stated Carter. "I've never come across anything that could be--"

Feeling more confident, Rodney butted in. "It's possible the Quantum mirror equivalent of a DHD is contained within the unit itself, as part of the ornate frame surrounding the mirror...though I could not say for certain without pulling the artifact to pieces."

Rodney caught a strange smile curling Sheppard's lips and a look in his eyes that appeared a little like pride and affection. He ducked his head, afraid that he had read Sheppard's expression wrongly and startled when he felt Sheppard's hand on his arm.

"Won't let you play with the toys, hey?"

"Hardly a toy, Colonel," Rodney blustered but, secretly, he felt a rush of something good inside him, something that had been missing all of his life but Carter wiped away that feeling in a heartbeat.

"I wouldn't trust him with a crib mobile."

Sheppard turned to her, eyeing her carefully. "Well, I would," he stated softly, folding his arms over his chest.

He pushed past her and stopped as a door swished open beside him. Sheppard took a step inside and Rodney followed with Carter. Towards the back wall of the small room stood the Quantum mirror and Rodney approached it with awe. The one he had seen in Area 51 was only half the size of this one. This one stood full length, its highly polished surface reflecting back the three people perfectly. Then the surface shimmered and Rodney thought he caught sight of other reflections that almost mirrored the people in this room, except the woman had dark hair that fell to her shoulders.

Elizabeth Weir? He thought, recalling the Expedition leader who had been replaced once contact had been reestablished with Earth. After learning about the Wraith, no power on Earth was prepared to leave Atlantis in the hands of a civilian commander and so Sumner had taken full command of both the city and the expedition members, with Sheppard as his second in command.

Although he had not known Sumner or Sheppard personally, Rodney had been one of the few voices of dissent, not wanting to see the military in full control but his voice had carried little weight. He had liked Elizabeth from the moment he met her. She was straightforward and nurturing, bringing out the best in the people under her control though Rodney had heard rumors that she and Carter had clashed on many occasions.

He forced his thoughts back to the mirror.

"It's different to the one in Area 51."

Rodney turned when he gained no response from Sheppard, seeing the shock and anger on the Colonel's face. When Sheppard's eyes finally moved to Rodney, they were dark and penetrating, lingering over Rodney's face with an intimacy that was unnerving considering his counterpart's fiancée stood right beside them.

"I believe the mirror is reacting to your presence," Rodney stated nervously. "My theory is that it keys itself to the DNA of the traveler, storing the information in a database held within the frame."

Sheppard's smile did not reach his eyes as he stared at Rodney, deep in thought.

"I-I think you should be able to simply touch the surface."

"Okay," he drawled. "But first..."

Rodney felt confused when the Colonel brought out pen and paper and began to write. He finished the note and folded the paper, addressing it to himself. Sheppard handed the paper to Rodney, much to Carter's annoyance.

"See that my counterpart gets this."

Sheppard stepped forward and the surface of the mirror shimmered again, revealing the rippled reflections of the people Rodney had caught sight of moments before. He recognized himself and frowned in confusion when he saw shadows on his counterpart's face that ought not to be there. Bruises?

Before he could say anything, Sheppard moved within arms reach of the mirror. The surface stilled, becoming the perfect mirror once more and Sheppard's eyes caught his in the reflection.

"Believe in yourself, Rodney. You're a good man in both realities."

Before Rodney could reply, the surface shimmered again and Sheppard touched the surface of the mirror at the same spot as his reaching counterpart. The tips of their fingers seemed to meet and the mirror's ripple seemed to encompass Sheppard's entire body, wavering as if his body had ceased to exist in corporeal form for a moment, reduced to its constituent particles before reforming.

Sheppard stepped back and when he turned around, Rodney knew he was standing with a stranger once more, except this time, the stranger belonged in this universe and Rodney felt a sense of grief at the loss of the other John Sheppard.

****

  
_Our Universe_  


John stared hard at Rodney McKay's face before his eyes dropped to the piece of paper held in Rodney's hand. His eyes narrowed.

"This is for you, Colonel." Rodney looked uncomfortable. "From the...other Sheppard."

"Okay," he said, drawing out the word. He took the paper, unfolded it and read the single word written across it in his own handwriting. His eyes flicked back up to Rodney's face and he saw Rodney flinch as he thrust the paper back so Rodney could read it. More anger filled him at Rodney's reaction and the fear that darkened his already wary blue eyes.

"He did that...didn't he?" John indicated towards the purple and black bruising mottling Rodney's cheek and neck and even darkening the skin around one eye. By tomorrow that would be one hell of a shiner, probably caused by a blow striking his cheek bone.

Rodney straightened, chin raised high. "If you must know, I walked into a door."

"Well that was mighty clumsy of you. You sure it was a door rather than...say...a fist?"

Rodney tried his condescending laugh but only succeeded in hissing and wincing as he pulled at abused muscle and flesh.

"So, then what's he apologizing for?"

"What?" John nodded towards the paper held in Rodney's hand and waited as Rodney read the single word out loud. "Sorry?"

Rodney gained another color to go with the multiple hues already crossing his face--the red of embarrassment at being caught in a lie, for genius or not, Rodney was not terribly good at bluffing and lying, and they both knew it. He had never seen the need to lie before coming to Atlantis, not caring what others thought of him or how many feelings he trampled over in the process. If someone's work was bad then he told them so in no uncertain terms rather than offer up meaningless platitudes and words of nurturing and forbearance. Yet, equally, it meant that praise from Rodney McKay was something precious because he did not offer it lightly. However, that was in the laboratory but, in the field, this inability to lie had been a source of contention for John on many occasions, usually getting them into trouble with whatever new race they had come across. Gradually, John had introduced Rodney to the concept of fuzziness rather than outright lying, though with varying degrees of success. Now, if some maniacal despot asked Rodney if he could build an atomic bomb, he was a little fuzzier in his response rather than blurting out his credentials as a bomb-making expert.

Perhaps Rodney's lie on this occasion might have fooled a stranger but John was a experienced interrogator--part of his Black Ops training that had found its uses here in the Pegasus galaxy--plus he knew Rodney too well by now. He saw the leftward slide of the blue eyes and the nervous twitch at the corner of his mouth long before the flush rose in his cheeks to produce a veritable rainbow of color on one side of his face.

"I have no idea what he was apologizing for," Rodney blustered. "Perhaps he's used up the last of your hair gel, or maybe he made a pass at Kavanagh who now expects you to turn up for dinner at seven with flowers and the last Snickers bar in the Pegasus galaxy, seeing how they forgot to add chocolate to the last consignment on-board the _Daedalus_."

"No chocolate?" John narrowed his eyes at Rodney, boring into the blue ones opposite.

"Well...maybe a few cases."

"A few?"

"All right, so there's loads of chocolate but if the _Daedalus_ gets blown up by a Wraith ship or just forgets to come back one day then we will be right back where we started with a diminishing supply of chocolate bars and coffee."

"But we do have coffee, don't we? Because I'd hate to see you go without those eleven cups a day."

"Yes, we have coffee." Rodney shook his head in bewilderment. "And what exactly has my coffee consumption got to do with any of this? Or with the other Sheppard saying he's sorry, come to think of it?"

"I don't know, Rodney." John crossed his arms. "Why don't you tell me?"

Rodney gained that _walked into a trap_ look that John enjoyed seeing on the brilliant yet strangely naive face. He opened his mouth to respond but another voice interrupted.

"As much as I like to watch Rodney squirm, I really do need to take him down to the infirmary to check out those injuries."

John turned as Beckett stepped into the room, knowing Elizabeth had most likely ordered him to wait outside while they worked out how to operate the Quantum mirror. He felt momentary guilt for Rodney's injuries, having been more concerned with getting Rodney to admit to how they came about than seeing the actual damage and ensuring he was treated. Yet, for some reason, it seemed important to learn if the other Sheppard had been responsible for hurting his Rodney.

_His_ Rodney? He questioned silently, wondering when he had become so proprietary over Rodney McKay.

As Beckett began to fuss over Rodney, John glanced across at Elizabeth, seeing a small smile playing about her lips.

"Welcome back, John," she stated and, as the smile grew, he realized that she had been assessing him in silence the whole time, possibly to verify that he was, indeed, their Colonel Sheppard rather than yet another alternate Sheppard. He fell in step beside her as they walked out into the corridor, heading towards the transporter with Rodney and Beckett walking a few feet ahead of them.

"What happened?" He asked quietly, knowing Rodney was too engrossed in whining about his injuries to overhear.

"Your counterpart thought this was all part of an elaborate illusion, like on M5S-224."

"Fog world." John recalled the way he had known instinctively that all was not right then, manipulating the illusion with a terrifying ease.

Although he had felt the same ill ease in the alternate reality, everything about it had been far more solid. He had tried but could not consciously alter any of the events or bring people to him that were dead or missing...except for Rodney. Even then, he was aware that this was not the Rodney McKay that he knew, and certainly not any McKay that he had ever envisaged or would dream up. He could see the differences in the man from the moment he stepped through the Stargate, with wariness keeping the arrogance in check especially around Carter. John knew that the Carter in _his_ reality had been instrumental in having his Rodney exiled to Russia but the similarities between the Carters ended there. John wondered how much more abuse the other Rodney must have taken to lose so much of the fire and ego that filled his counterpart here. He could not imagine his Rodney keeping silent until asked for an opinion, or accepting the contempt and condescension offered by Carter without retaliating in kind, although he had sniped at John, so some of that fire remained. How many years had it taken to break that Rodney? How many disappointments had he endured?

All of this had convinced John that there was far more to the strange world that he had found himself in than a simple illusion. Yet, if he could figure that out and act accordingly then why had the other John Sheppard resorted to violence within this reality?

With contact with the SGC recovered, the other John could have made the same request for the chief scientist that he knew so well--the woman he planned to marry that very day. Why had he shied away from making contact with her, or with Elizabeth, whom he must have got to know during the year that the Atlantis expedition was out of contact with Earth?

John had taken a decision to trust Sumner even though he had not been on the best of terms with his own Sumner during the short time that he knew the man. Seeing Sumner in the alternate universe and recognizing the friendship existing between them had filled John with renewed regret now, but perhaps it was this very relationship that had stopped the other John from seeing the truth faster. In this reality, Sumner had died and John had taken on the mantle of command, making decisions for better or worse that affected the way he dealt with each new problem facing him and Atlantis. And then there was Rodney; arrogant, conceited, egotistical, whiny but exceptionally gifted Rodney who had opened his eyes to all the possibilities in the universe, letting him share in the joys of his discoveries whether John wanted to or not. In comparison, the little he saw of the other Carter showed a woman who did not like to share anything.

Had exposure to Rodney McKay been the difference between him and his counterpart?

"Why Rodney? Why not Beckett or some other easy target?"

"Carson mentioned that he and Rodney joined you...the other you, for lunch but he had to go back to the infirmary leaving Rodney alone with..."

"Other me. So what did he do? Lure Rodney to a jumper, seal him in and interrogate him?"

Elizabeth stopped and stared at John curiously and John felt a little embarrassed under her scrutiny, realizing that he had correctly guessed his counterpart's actions. He had noticed that she had that affect on him right from the beginning, which was very disturbing as his mother had that same ability to see right through him, and Elizabeth was nothing like his mother. She raised an eyebrow, urging him to explain without saying a single word.

"If circumstances had been different then I _might_ have done that."

Elizabeth nodded and they continued on towards the transporter. John noticed that Rodney was keeping his distance, even within the confines of the transporter booth, but he made no mention of it. A stranger with his face and body had caused Rodney pain, probably scaring him half to death in the process, and John was not certain how to handle that along with the revelation that had come to him after meeting the other Rodney. He needed time to sort out his tangled emotions before he attempted to deal with Rodney's, only now consciously aware that something had changed between him and Rodney over the past few months that had everything to do with his suicide run on the Wraith hive ship. As he approached the hive ship, he had allowed his thoughts to slip away from his imminent death and of all the things he could have thought about in those last few minutes of his life, he had not expected to dwell on Rodney McKay. Now he knew why, but that did not make it any easier.

****

  
_Mirror Universe_  


As the tingling sensation left his limbs, the mirror's surface stilled, revealing the two people standing behind him. He knew he ought to be feeling relief and even joy as he met Sam's eyes in the perfect reflection but, instead, he felt empty. The uneasy thoughts that had brought him to this unexplored part of the city still held him but, instead of easing his fears, this event had tightened their grasp upon him.

"John?" Sam took a step forward and he gave himself a mental shake, dredging up a smile.

"Yeah, I'm home."

He turned as she rushed forward, flinging herself into his arms and burying her face into his shoulder. Several telling moments passed before he wrapped his arms around her in return. When he looked across the room over the top of her head, his eyes met the wary blue eyes of a man that he had first met in another universe, standing before him in embarrassed silence. Those eyes drifted towards the mirror as if catching some reflection, the uneasiness growing. John understood why for he had seen his counterpart on the other side of the Quantum mirror so this McKay must have seen his alternate self too. He would have seen the bruises marring his reflection's face and, perhaps, he would have come to his own conclusions for how that damage had come about.

John felt guilty for this McKay was unharmed, and the very fact that he was standing here in Atlantis spoke volumes for the amount of trust and respect the other Sheppard had placed in him. That Sheppard had reached out for help, willing to trust the people he found here to help him get home without resorting to violence. He could have done the same and asked for Sam, and yet he had felt so totally alone and uncertain, unwilling to place his trust in her or anyone else until the other Rodney convinced him otherwise with just a few words of loyalty for his Sheppard. Yet, the fact still remained that he did not have enough trust in Samantha Carter to ask for her there, which meant he did not have enough trust to marry her here.

John felt a heavy weight lift from his mind as he recognized the simple truth that he had been grappling with since she announced their intention to marry. In truth, he'd had little say in the matter, with her seeing it as a natural progression from lover to wife, except he could not honestly say that he had ever been in-love with her. He did care for her though, enough to not want to see her hurt but stepping into the other reality had shown him that someone was going to get hurt eventually. The other Rodney McKay had taken the brunt of his frustration in the alternate universe but he knew that he and Sam would be the ones to suffer in this one if he went through with a sham of a marriage. Better to end it now and give them both a chance to find true happiness.

"If we head back now, we can still be married," she murmured against his chest.

Gently, John pushed her to arm's length. "No. I'm sorry, Sam but..." He shook his head. "I can't go through with it."

Confusion filled her blue eyes, a smile playing about her lips as if she was uncertain if this was a joke but John held her eyes steadily. Her eyes cleared of emotion.

"Okay. We'll leave this for today." He opened his mouth to say he meant it was over, completely over but she pressed a finger against his lips. "Later. We'll discuss this later."

John sighed as she threw a disgusted look at McKay before she strode away, leaving him alone with the McKay, who looked increasingly nervous.

"Erhm...the other Sheppard. He left..." McKay offered a small neatly folded piece of paper to him, which John reached out and took with a mixture of intrigue and worry. He had left a similar note with the injured McKay, hoping the other Sheppard would understand and forgive him for the injuries on his McKay's face because it was obvious, now, that the two were friends in that other reality.

He unfolded the note and read the scrawled lines.

_If you hurt my McKay then you can make it up by treating this one better. PS. Don't marry Carter. In my reality she's great, in yours she's a class A bitch._

John snorted softly, wondering how the other John could have come to that opinion of Sam from just a few short hours when he had known her for over a year. However, a niggling sensation at the back of his mind told him to heed the warning, and his experience in the other reality told him to trust the other Sheppard's view of this McKay too.

"So you're the Rodney McKay that Sam talks about," he stated, watching carefully to see how McKay would react. "She's never had much good to say of you yet...here you are."

"Yes, well, Dr. Carter doesn't have a lot of good to say about anyone. Hardly a character flaw though, as she's invariably right."

"Invariably right," he echoed softly. "Meaning she's sometimes wrong."

"Sometimes." He shuffled slightly, arms folding across his chest defensively and John knew that McKay classed himself among those unjustly treated by Sam.

"I hear this is a trait you both have in common." John almost smiled as he recognized a similar cant of McKay's head to his counterpart as he raised his chin in defiance.

"Tolerating fools is something neither of us does very well."

"So...are you a fool?"

"What?" McKay looked a little unbalanced by the question.

"Sam doesn't seem to have a lot of tolerance for you." John folded his arms to mirror McKay and stepped into the man's personal space, enjoying the discomfort that flitted across the animated face. McKay's face was like an open book with every emotion instantly readable, from his fear of this confrontation to his intense dislike of Sam.

"We've not worked together under the best of circumstances," he finished weakly, eyes unable to meet John's, and John recalled that Sam held McKay responsible for the death of her first husband, Jack O'Neill.

"Yeah, I guess so." John looked around the barren room. "Let's get out of here."

"The mirror?"

Frowning, John glanced back at the mirror to see only his reflection staring back, standing extremely close to McKay's yet McKay's eyes were focused on _him_ and he could read the curiosity in them before McKay realized that he was being observed via the mirror's reflection. McKay swallowed hard and looked away, covering up his embarrassment with an arrogant sneer.

"Perhaps Carter will have it transported back to Earth," McKay muttered, answering his own question but his sneer faded in confusion as John grinned back at him.

****

  
_Our Universe_  


"Ow!"

"If you'd keep still then I could--"

"Cause me even more pain?" McKay glared at Carson. "And exactly where did you get your medical skills from...the Spanish Inquisition?"

"I hardly call a little prodding torture, Rodney."

"Probably because the pain nerves you are prodding don't belong to your body."

"Och! You're worse than a wee bairn."

"And that's the technical term for what exactly?" Rodney raised a finger. "No wait. It's some voodoo incantation-- OW!"

"If you'd stop using your mouth for just a minute then I might be able to finish this examination without--"

"OW!"

Carson gave up in disgust, throwing up his hands. "Fine! I cannot feel any damage beyond the fractured cheekbone anyways." Carson turned, about to order an ice pack to ease the swelling and bring out the bruising faster and found one of his best nurses standing right beside him with ice pack in hand. "Oh! Thank you, love. Just what I needed."

She smiled and retreated as Carson placed the ice pack over the bruised portion of Rodney's face, grabbing Rodney's hand and forcing it up to hold the pack in place. As he stepped back, Carson half turned to check on Colonel Sheppard before returning his attention to Rodney. Sheppard was standing a few feet away with arms folded across his chest and his expression troubled though Carson could understand why. Although they bickered and snarked at each other constantly, Rodney and John Sheppard had become good friends though neither would admit to it unless push came to shove but Carson saw that friendship in the genuine concern each held for the other. He knew that friendship had become strained of late, due to the intense pressure they had worked under while preparing for the Wraith attack and surviving through it. He knew they had issues to resolve concerning Sheppard's heroic but suicidal decision to take out a hive ship after the generator Rodney was hooking up to the Chair failed. Had it worked, it would have given Sheppard enough power to control the automatic piloting of the jumper carrying the nuclear bomb. Instead, he had run off without saying more than a cursory goodbye to Rodney, leaving him alone with his failure.

Every scientist was used to the idea of failure, even Rodney, but never had a failure on his part held such catastrophic meaning in his world. Rodney did not make friends easily and this failure had set his best friend racing towards certain death. Only divine intervention had saved them all.

"Aye. A bloody miracle," Carson breathed softly.

"What?"

Carson looked at Rodney. "Said it's a bloody miracle he did not crush your windpipe."

"Was never his intention," Sheppard remarked. "A dead hostage is not a lot of bargaining power."

"I'll certainly sleep better for knowing he had no intention of killing me."

Carson winced at the sarcastic response, wondering if Rodney knew how much each barb tore at Sheppard, even though the Colonel was hardly to blame for what had happened. Although the two Sheppard's looked the same and even shared similar traits, their paths had diverged at some point in their past making them two completely separate individuals. Differing experiences had molded each man in different ways, though a lot more of the Sheppard Carson knew from this reality had become apparent in his counterpart towards the end.

"Well, there's no sign of a concussion and no restriction in your airways so--" Carson broke off abruptly and pressed a hand against the center of Rodney's chest as he tried to rise. "I'm not finished." He glared down at Rodney. "Normally, I'd consider letting you go with a promise to rest but--"

"But what? I'm fine, and that investigation into the power fluctuations in sector 4 is not going to solve itself--"

"Exactly!" Carson cried out triumphantly. "If I let you out of the infirmary, you won't rest...so I'm keeping you in overnight for observation."

"But!"

"I wouldn't argue with me in my own infirmary, Rodney."

Rodney acquiesced, and then grumbled softly. "Least you can do is give me something for the pain."

Carson walked away and came back moments later with a small container. He shook two Tylenol out and placed them in Rodney's palm watching as Rodney dry-swallowed them before handing him a glass of water. Rodney grumbled some more when Carson handed him one of the red infirmary gowns and stepped back, drawing the curtain firmly around the bed to allow Rodney some privacy changing. He took a few more steps over to where Sheppard waited patiently.

"He's fine...though those bruises will look spectacular by morning."

"Yeah."

"Was not your fault, Colonel."

"I know that," Sheppard replied, slightly exasperated but the troubled expression remained.

"And Rodney knows that too."

Sheppard's gaze pierced him before his eyes warmed in acceptance of Carson's words. He nodded and sighed. "I'll go tell Elizabeth you're keeping Rodney in overnight."

Carson's smile of gratitude wavered as Sheppard strode out of the infirmary, silently hoping the two would be able to put this incident behind them quickly.

****

  
_Mirror Universe_  


Sumner was waiting for them when they reached the control room. Rodney watched him as he stared hard at Sheppard, with Sumner only smiling when Sheppard grinned back at him.

"Yeah, it's me this time, sir," Sheppard stated, comign to attention.

"Glad to have you back, Colonel."

Sheppard looked dismayed. "I guess I'm not back after all. I'm Major John--"

Sumner sighed. "Guess I'll have to go through this again. Congratulations on your promotion, Lt. Colonel Sheppard. The formal ceremony was due to take place after your wedding, along with handing you your new orders to assume command of Atlantis."

"Sir?" Sheppard looked stunned by the revelation, but obviously pleased too.

"We can discuss this later, John." Sumner turned to Carter. "Good job, Carter."

She smiled in pleasure, accepting the unwarranted praise and making no attempt to mention Rodney's part in it but he had learned long ago not to bother trying to say any different where Carter was concerned as no one was inclined to believe him. The only one who knew the truth was back where he belonged in another dimension and, with no tangible proof to the contrary, Sumner and this Sheppard only had his word against hers. It did not take a genius to figure out that Carter would win every time. He would save his energy for battles that he did have a fair chance at winning, and at no cost to himself.

As Sumner led Sheppard away, Carter turned her triumphant smile on Rodney though her eyes were as cold as chips of ice.

"Obviously, we can't waste the ZPM opening a wormhole to send you back so you'll have to return on the _Daedalus_ ," she said quietly, knowing the delay would rankle Rodney who was eager to take over as chief scientific advisor in Antarctica once more. Rodney knew the eighteen day delay would give her enough time to screw up his life yet again but it was the sort of vindictive action he expected from her after last time. However, although Rodney was not willing to go up against her to Sheppard and Sumner, he was not going to watch her take away this new opportunity without a fight.

"Isn't General Sumner returning to the SGC imminently?" Rodney replied, bouncing on the balls of his feet lightly as he saw annoyance cross her face. Perhaps she had forgotten that Sumner was going to replace Hammond at the SGC as of today, or maybe she had not even known until this moment, or believed that he could not have known. Whichever, Rodney felt pretty smug for pointing out the flaw in her plan. Her face creased into a snarl but any words were lost as Sheppard turned back.

"McKay?"

"Colonel?"

"I want you to stick around for a few days."

"You...you do?" Rodney blinked rapidly in surprise.

Sheppard tilted his head slightly. "Yeah. Now you're here, you might as well put that brain of yours to some use and help us get the city back up and running smoothly with the ZPM. Carter could use the help."

"I'm sure I can manage without McKay's _assistance_."

"I'm sure you can but you'd work faster with it."

He turned away before she could argue further and Rodney offered her a smug grin when she looked back at him. Her face held barely concealed rage and she whispered harshly, "Just remember who's in charge here."

He called out at she stormed off, "And that would be Colonel Sheppard, right?"

Her body seemed to freeze mid-stride before she carried on, back stiff with anger, leaving Rodney caught between elation at being granted a chance to study the Lost City of the Ancients and nervousness at having to spend that time working with Carter. He let his elation win out and hummed softly to himself in pleasure as he followed on behind the others, wondering who he had to speak to about getting some temporary quarters.

****

**One Week Later**

"Generator 3 is malfunctioning," Carter stated to no one in particular. "No doubt McKay has been _fixing_ it again."

One or two of the other scientists gave noncommittal laughs but, otherwise, they said nothing. She frowned in annoyance at the lack of response, having expected them to agree with her, and she tapped her radio headset twice.

"Dr. McKay? Take Gall down to Generator 3 and investigate the malfunction."

"I'll run a diagnostic from the control--"

"I am perfectly capable of running a diagnostic, McKay, and interpreting the results. The fault lies in the actual generator, probably one of those poor excuses for a subroutine that you or Quinn wrote. Just go and fix it. Oh, and don't bother coming back until it's done," she added sweetly.

"Fine," Rodney replied and sighed heavily, only partially grateful that she had told him to take Gall as, annoying though he was, Gall had stuck up for him on a couple of occasions recently when Carter found fault with Rodney's work. He knew that had earned Gall a little extra flack from Carter but the man did not seem to care, perhaps even taking a little enjoyment out of pointing out her errors. Certainly, a few of the other scientists had looked away or covered the smirks on their faces. At least Rodney knew he was not the only one having problems with Carter, though she was very careful to show disdain towards her scientific subordinates only, and especially him. Some of the lower ranking military overheard the occasional remark but only when it undermined the authority of her intended victim. Sheppard and his immediate subordinates were blissfully ignorant.

The two scientists packed up the tools they might need to investigate the problem and, as they walked to the transporter booth, Rodney thought of Colonel Sheppard, knowing he was to blame for Rodney's current predicament. Every time Rodney mentioned returning to Antarctica, Sheppard found a reason to keep him in Atlantis, which was disconcerting as no one had ever wanted to keep him around before--except for Jonas. However, the more Sheppard associated with him, the greater Carter's animosity became towards him, especially as that _talk later_ must have involved Sheppard canceling their wedding altogether. Instead of focusing her anger and resentment on Sheppard, she aimed for an easier target--him. Her annoyance grew every time her attempt to discredit his work backfired because of colleagues like Gall.

He felt momentary disassociation as the transporter effect moved him to the booth closest to Naquadah Generator 3. It was in a damaged part of the city, struck several times by Wraith darts before the ZPM was initialized and the shield raised. Eventually, the repair teams would reach this sector and reconnect the power back to the control station, making generator 3 superfluous. Still, Rodney had argued for it remaining as a back up in case of emergencies and to help conserve what power remained in the ZPM in case they came under attack again. Sheppard had agreed, much to Carter's increased disgust.

Gall prattled on about inconsequential matters as they walked along the darkened corridors towards the generator station and Rodney found he was answering in turn, only then realizing that both of them were nervous in the creepy corridors. The gentle sarcasm trading back and forth was almost refreshing

"You're just jealous of my youth and good looks."

"You know the old adage, brains come before beauty," Rodney returned with a smirk.

"Well at least you're willing to admit I'm the more handsome."

"Never said anything of the sort. Just that I'm smarter."

"Hah!"

"It's just up ahead," Rodney stated, cutting off any further remark from Gall and sighing in relief as the door opened. He walked straight up to the generator, skirting around the edge until he reached the control panel. His fingers danced over the controls as he began running a diagnostic, frowning in confusion when he found a new subroutine encoded recently that countermanded several of those written by Jonas. He doubted that anyone else would have noticed it but Rodney knew this particular generator inside out and back to front. He could probably build one in his sleep. The door slid shut as Gall moved to the opposite side from him, checking the physical connections but just as Rodney opened his mouth to mention the strange code, the door opened again and Rodney could only stare in horror at the creature that raised a weapon towards him and Gall.

Blue light encased him, his body jerking as darkness enfolded him.

****

  
_Our Universe_  


It was supposed to be a simple mission, gathering supplies from one of their trading partners but no one was feeling particularly complacent now that all the hive ships were on the move. Rodney had hoped to be left off this mission, citing his recent head injuries as a just reason. In truth, the Abrians were a boring agricultural society with nothing to offer them technically, whereas Atlantis had more than enough to keep him occupied for years to come. With the ZPM powering the city, whole new areas had opened up to them as the database came alive with status reports from various sectors.

"Come on, Rodney," John wheedled. "A little fresh air would be good for that pasty skin of yours. Any paler and someone will mistake you for a Wraith and shoot you."

"Oh, my sides. You really are a scream," he replied but the sarcasm seemed to roll off Sheppard, who merely grinned and slapped Rodney on the back.

Rodney sighed as Sheppard wandered off to get ready for the mission, knowing he had no means of escaping the inevitable, though why Sheppard was so insistent on keeping him close at hand these days was a mystery. He wondered if part of it was displaced guilt from what his alternate universe twin did to him. Intellectually, Rodney knew his assailant had not been _this_ John Sheppard but emotionally, it had taken until now to stop flinching every time the man raised his hand close by. Of course, Sheppard had noticed his reaction, and so had Elizabeth and, worse still, Heightmeyer although Rodney had to admit that an hour talking it through with Kate had eased some of his anxiety. Still, this did not explain Sheppard's sudden need for his company at the oddest times, especially his arrival on Rodney's doorstep last night with a chess board tucked under his arm. Admittedly, Rodney was not overly surprised to discover that Sheppard had more than a passing familiarity with the game and he had enjoyed it once he got over his initial wariness of being alone with Sheppard.

However, that newfound camaraderie hardly seemed enough to drag him away from an important research project just to stand around in the sunshine while a bunch of farmers dumped baskets of what passed for corn and fruit at their feet. Grumbling to himself, he picked up everything he thought he might need and then replaced most of it as unnecessary baggage, keeping the Ancient handheld device and slipping it into his vest pocket. He slid a couple of PowerBars and an Epipen into another pocket within easy reach, knowing he could never be too careful. Sheppard's call through his radio brought his head up.

"Yes, Colonel. I'm on my way," he stated firmly, uncaring if he sounded a little pissed. He found Sheppard standing at the bottom of the stairs in the gate room with Teyla and Stackhouse.

"Finally decided to join us?"

"Some of us do have more important work to do than taking merry jaunts through the Stargate to swill beer with a bunch of peasants."

"Dr, McKay," admonished Teyla. "Might I remind you that these were once a great people, brought to this position by several millennia of cullings from the Wraith?"

"Yes, yes...but I'm hardly likely to find a way to stop the Wraith while standing around on an alien planet singing Kumbaya with the locals."

"Lighten up, McKay. You could do with a break."

"Already had one of those this week, thank you very much," he stated, touching his cheek gingerly. Rodney regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, seeing the downward cast of Sheppard's lips and eyes before the Colonel stepped up towards the now open wormhole. He hung back a moment as first Sheppard and then Teyla and Stackhouse stepped through the Stargate, and then he followed. The first sound he heard on the other side sent terror icing through his veins--the distinctive hum of a Wraith dart passing overhead.

Rodney dived to the side as the Wraith transporter beam sliced across the place where he had been standing, missing him by a fraction. Stackhouse's P90 was spitting bullets, along with Teyla's and Rodney froze when he could not hear a third gun, eyes darting around until he caught Sheppard's familiar figure sprawled on the ground between the Stargate and the DHD. The wormhole had closed behind them, leaving them with only one option. Someone had to get to the DHD and dial home so they could get off this world fast.

"Dr. McKay! We will cover you while you dial Atlantis and send through the IDC." Terror sent adrenaline racing through Rodney even as his body froze, his breath gasping, heart thumping painfully against his ribcage. "Dr. McKay!"

His eyes met Teyla's and he knew they had very little time as Wraith appeared from the distant tree line, stunners in hand, and slowly advancing towards them. The Wraith dart passed overhead again and for one terrible moment, Rodney thought it had snatched up Sheppard's prone form. He almost wept in relief when he saw Sheppard still lying there, and he raced onwards, head low, presenting a smaller target. His hand smacked against the symbols, pushing the large central button to make the connection. Not wasting any time, Rodney darted back towards the Stargate as the wormhole exploded outwards. He dropped down beside Sheppard, radioing back to Atlantis and sending his IDC.

"Atlantis...we're under attack."

Elizabeth's disembodied voice came through his headset. "Iris is down, Rodney."

With Stackhouse and Teyla still laying down covering fire, Rodney hefted Sheppard up onto his shoulder in a fireman's lift and staggered towards the Stargate, cursing the Ancients decision to place most Stargates on platforms as he struggled up the stone steps with Sheppard's heavy weight dragging him down. He cried out as his leg was hit, numbness spreading throughout and sending him crashing down at the top of the platform. Small hands grabbed for him and they fell through the rippling blue vortex, landing awkwardly on the floor of the Atlantis gate room. The iris flared into life and Rodney sagged in relief before looking across at Sheppard's still form.

"Is he..?"

"Stunned."

"Oh thank God," he said, only then realizing the enormity of what had happened. He had been insufferable concerning the Abrian people and now they were gone. Worse still, he had almost lost John Sheppard along with them. Feeling nauseous, Rodney dragged himself towards Sheppard, unable to stand because of the numbness that made him feel like he was missing more than just a lower limb. He collapsed beside his friend and stared into the slack features.

It had been close this time. Too close.

****

  
_Mirror Universe_  


John had hoped to see McKay here in the mess hall, having come to enjoy the man's company after such a short time. He had taken the gamble on McKay because of what he had learned in the alternate reality, and from the note left by his counterpart. Strangely, he found it refreshing having someone on his intellectual and command level that he could argue with, exchanging almost sneering remarks that Ford had dubbed _snark_. As Sumner's subordinate, John had refrained from questioning his superior officer in such a way, and Sam was far too sensitive to accept criticism in any form. McKay, on the other hand, was a worthy opponent and they were spending more and more time together, debating and arguing over the silliest subjects. The insufferable smirk had become almost endearing, especially when it dipped into a gentle smile. The blue eyes would shine with pleasure, enjoying the exchange even when John got the upper hand in a debate.

It occurred to John that all this could be summed up in a single word...friendship. Some how over the past few weeks, he and McKay had become friends and it was a surprisingly good feeling despite the animosity radiating out from Sam towards McKay. She had never liked to share and it seemed that included him.

John frowned as he watched the pony-tailed scientist approaching him while he picked at his lunch. He recognized the man's face from the alternate reality, recalling how McKay's eyes had rolled when the man came over to pester him.

"Colonel Sheppard."

Kavanagh, thought John, putting a name to the face, recalling the man's arrival on the _Daedalus_ a few weeks back, among the newest batch of scientists. According to his record, Kavanagh was a talented engineer but, like a fair number of the scientists, he seemed to have a superior attitude to match his supposedly superior intellect, seeing most others beneath his contempt. Even though John was the head of the Atlantis Expedition, Kavanagh had deigned to speak to him only once before, treating him like an annoying simpleton until John had surprised the man with his response. John could understand part of Kavanagh's problem for none of the scientists were best pleased to see Atlantis placed under military control. They preferred to have a civilian in charge, and John agreed under certain circumstances. Dr. Weir had been an exceptionally good leader, facing situations and making decisions that would have scared many of the military officers John had met in his career.

"Dr. Kavanagh. How can I help you?"

"I was checking through the daily logs--"

"Is that your job?" John interrupted, knowing how this man had aggrieved quite a few of his fellow scientists since arriving as he seemed hell bent on uncovering every minor misdemeanor or infraction of the rules.

"The Pentagon requested that I assess the competency of the senior scientists on this expedition."

"They did, did they?"

"I will admit to having severe reservations concerning the competency of Dr. McKay, having been the recipient of one of his...lectures on more than one occasion since my arrival--"

"Blown your theories out of the water, has he?"

Kavanagh stiffened and John could see the man preparing to launch into a diatribe concerning McKay, so he forestalled him.

"I'm a busy man, doctor."

John did not want to hear Kavanagh bad-mouthing McKay.

Even though McKay was an arrogant man and less than charitable with his opinions on the competency of his colleagues, only one person had constantly vilified McKay's work...and that was Sam Carter. Instead, John had noticed a certain leaning of the scientific community towards McKay since his arrival on Atlantis, and not just for his brilliance. Now it looked as if Kavanagh was about to counter that.

"Approximately half an hour ago, Dr. Carter reported a malfunction with Naquadah generator 3. She sent McKay and Gall out to fix it."

"And?"

"I overheard her laying blame for the fault on McKay's work, so I decided to check her claim for my report."

_You little weasel_ , John thought and opened his mouth to say as much but Kavanagh continued on.

"There was unusual computer activity just prior to the malfunction so I checked the sensor logs and saw this."

He opened his laptop and swung it around to face John. John recognized the city sensor map, straightening when a life sign blipped for a few seconds before the sensors shut down. Kavanagh pointed to one area.

"This is the room housing generator 3, and this is the transporter booth," he stated as his finger swept along a corridor. The blip had been close to the generator but no where near the transporter. John knew of only one creature that could hide from the sensors, and only then when in hibernation--a wraith. He felt a shard of ice rip through his body, freezing his heart with fear.

"Where are McKay and Gall now?"

Kavanagh shook his head. "They left fifteen minutes ago...and I can't raise them."

John was on his feet instantly, racing across the room, yelling orders through his headset for Ford and Bates to gather a team immediately and meet him in the transport booth. Distantly, he heard Kavanagh yell out, "But there's more--" However, John had no time to spare. McKay and Gall were in deadly danger.

Fear coiled in his belly as he stepped out of the transporter booth closest to Generator 3. Silently, he ordered his men to fan out, recalling the last time he had hunted a Wraith through the city--and almost became its next meal. The main sensors were still out so John had brought along a handheld detector, his concern growing when he saw no life signs within the, admittedly, limited range of the machine. Cautiously, they approached the generator room, staying back as John open the door with a thought, and moving in quickly as it slid aside. He was brought up short by the desiccated remains of one of the scientists lying face down on the floor.

Ford knelt down beside the body, moving it slightly and relief flooded through John when he saw the American flag on the corpse's sleeve, swiftly followed by guilt.

"It's Gall, Sir," Ford confirmed, and that meant McKay might still out there...alive.

Bates signaled and John stepped over the body, heading for the other exit from the room with Ford. They looked down at the scuff marks indicated by the sergeant, from where something--or someone--had been dragged away.

"This way," John stated softly, moving out into the corridor with both life signs detector and gun raised. He stopped when he saw the ghost of a blip on the outer edge of the small screen, angling in that direction. The life sign grew brighter, remaining steady and unmoving as he and his team drew closer. John's eyes widened when a new blip appeared in the top corner, heading straight towards the stationary blip, suddenly aware of what he was seeing.

The unmoving blip had to be McKay, stunned or otherwise restrained...and the Wraith was almost upon him.

****

  
_Our Universe_  


John heard voices but every muscle in his body refused to answer his demand to open his eyes. He recognized those voices as first Beckett's...and then Rodney's. Relief swept through him as his thoughts flowed back along the path of his last memory of stepping through the Stargate...

He had reached the edge of the platform by the time he deciphered the strange flashes of light in the dusk sky, coming from beyond the dense overgrowth surrounding the clearing. The whine of Wraith darts sent his heart reaching and he yelled for his still arriving team to take cover. Although busy culling the Abrians, the Wraith had registered the Stargate activating, and a passing dart immediately transported four soldiers into the clearing, the bright blue of their activated stun weapons making them an easier target in the twilight. Caught unawares, John raised his P90 and managed to take out one of the Wraith before he felt the numbing pain of a stun blast catching him square on, barely having time to curse his luck as darkness closed around him...

From the smell of antiseptic, John knew he was back on Atlantis and in the infirmary.

Crap, he thought, knowing he would be feeling the tingling after effects of the stun blast any time now, but at least he was still alive and free...and so was Rodney.

He heard footsteps move away and thought they had both left him, only now realizing how Rodney must have felt that time he took a stun blast in the face but then he heard the slight scrape of a chair and a soft whisper close by.

"You scared ten years off my life, Sheppard. Thought I'd lost you." He fell silent for a moment before lowering his voice further. "I'm not supposed to want anyone...especially not you."

John heard the ragged sigh that was followed by silence other than the clicking of fingers against a keyboard. If he could have smiled then John would have done so from knowing Rodney had chosen to sit beside him, ready to reassure him as soon as he awoke. John let himself drift off back to sleep with the strangely comforting sound of keys clicking to accompany him.

Rodney's whispered words came back to him as he resurfaced and he was no longer certain if he had merely dreamed them. He knew of Rodney's bisexuality, having read it in the private encrypted file that was only available to him and Weir but none of them had ever spoken of it. Even in private, Rodney had never mentioned his lack of preference where gender was concerned though John suspected that Rodney's enthusiasm for dumb blonds probably extended to either sex, which put him in the wrong category on both accounts as he was neither dumb nor blond.

His lips twitched as he reconsidered the dumb part. Intelligence was relative to whoever was making the comparisons and so, where Rodney was concerned, practically all of the human population in two galaxies could be considered dumb in his eyes.

"Colonel? Carson!"

John managed to force his eyelids open this time, finding concerned blue eyes peering straight down into his. Nothing else would move, not even his little finger or his toes.

"What happened?" The words were slurred because he could not get his lips and tongue to move, and Rodney grinned.

"Just be grateful you're feeling numb right now, Colonel. You must have fallen down the steps judging by the number of bruises all over your body."

"All over? Have you been peaking?" he asked but what came out of his mouth was a stream of unintelligible sounds.

"What?" Rodney chuckled. "Perhaps you'd better not bother trying to talk."

An hour later, John sat in the small lounge area, briskly rubbing his feet and feeling a little chagrinned as he recalled berating Rodney for doing the same at a briefing following his recovery from a stun blast. His body had the worst case of pins and needles that he could recall and the reawakening nerve endings brought fresh agony from the bruising he had sustained. Teyla and Stackhouse had filled him in on Rodney's heroics, dialing up the gate and then carrying him back up the steep set of steps, though John was willing to believe that Rodney had been terrified the whole time. Of course, Rodney had then elaborated on his own semi-paralysis from taking a stun blast to the leg.

Now, only the two of them were present and John felt the need to speak up.

"Why aren't you supposed to want me?"

"What?"

John saw the shock of discovery in the blue eyes, watching those eyes flash back and forth as if checking for all the escape routes from the room. Reaching out, John grabbed at Rodney's arm before he could take it into his head to run away. He pulled Rodney towards him, taking a chance of his own, and kissed him. Rodney froze, his lips unmoving beneath John's but John waited, running the tip of his tongue across the firm lips, feeling them slowly soften beneath him until they parted slightly. He flicked his tongue between the parted lips, encouraging Rodney to open to him, slowly invading the hot mouth, and tasting the bitterness of coffee within that almost masked the taste of Rodney. A soft moan reverberated against his lips as Rodney began to respond, kissing him back tentatively. They broke apart slowly.

"How did you..?" Rodney snapped his mouth closed. "Classified reports. I should have guessed you'd gain access to those after Sumner..." he trailed off, not wanting to say any more about the previous military commander.

John narrowed his eyes. "You know about those reports?"

Rodney looked affronted. "Of course! What kind of genius would I be if I hadn't already found them?"

"And read them?" added John, smiling wryly, knowing there was little benefit in pointing out that those files were classified. "Kavanagh's was interesting."

Rodney frowned. "It was?"

"No," he grinned and leaned in again, staring deep into Rodney's eyes. "Why Jonas Quinn...at the SGC?" John wondered if it was wise mentioning the content of Rodney's classified personnel file that had documented a one-time affair with the Kelownan during the Anubis crisis. John saw Rodney's momentary fear replaced with trust.

"Because we had no guarantee that we'd be able to save the planet. Because he asked. And because I liked him."

John nodded, his smile growing anew when it became obvious that, unlike with the alternate Rodney, the possibility of love existing between Rodney and Quinn had played no part in _his_ Rodney's single moment of pleasure with the Kelownan. All that lay between them was respect and a need for comfort during the bleak hours when the fate of the world hung in the balance. John could handle that, knowing instinctively that Rodney felt far more than simple respect for him, or a need for comfort. He could read the need and the love in the expressive eyes. John leaned in again, brushing his lips across Rodney's and, this time Rodney joined in enthusiastically, pulling back only when they heard a sound from beyond the room. Rodney looked towards the door nervously.

"How about we take this some place private?" John whispered, enjoying the play of emotions across Rodney's face that ranged from wariness, through disbelief to the final realization that John was serious about this. The blue eyes held a depth of happiness that John had rarely seen in them before, sparkling brightly even as they darkened with desire.

Rodney jumped to his feet, suddenly eager to get moving and he held out a hand to John, bracing against John's weight as he pulled him to his feet. They set off down the corridor together, exchanging shy glances and the occasional brush of a hand but, otherwise, remaining apart for the sake of appearances. The door to John's room slid open at their approach and they slipped inside, waiting until the door had close firmly and the lock had snicked into place before giving in to the incredible urge to touch.

Hands were in John's hair, playing with the short strands as Rodney devoured his mouth. Rodney dragged his mouth away, babbling softly as he asked and then answered his own question, "Do you know how long I've wanted to do that? Such a long time."

His fingers teased at John's hair, eyes focused keenly on those strands. John grinned and murmured. "Always thought you were only interested in dumb blonds."

"Hmm?" Those amazing blue eyes focused back on his and John wondered how someone so incredibly knowledgeable could look so innocent.

He slipped his hand beneath Rodney's shirt, rucking up the material as he stroked across the strong, broad back, feeling soft flesh beneath his touch. His fingers danced over the sharp angle of bone and firm ripple of muscle as Rodney's hands dropped to John's shoulders and then lower, tracing down his sides to pause at his waist. Small, nibbling kisses deepened as Rodney melted against him, chest to chest, one knee pushing between his legs, the hardened mass of their groins rubbing enticingly against each other as Rodney pulled their bodies closer. John could feel the building pleasure slowly igniting every pathway within his body and he drew back with a shuddering breath when he realized how close he was to coming in his pants like some horny teenager. Admittedly, it had been over two years since he last felt another person's body pressed up hard against his own but he wanted to savor this moment. He wanted no barriers of cloth between them, needing to feel Rodney's flesh against his, wanting to bask in the heat radiated from Rodney's skin, adding to the fire burning within him. John moaned as trembling fingers pushed between their bodies, fumbling at his pants, and pushing them aside as Rodney's fingers slipped between skin and cotton boxers to rub the palm of his hand over the sensitive flesh but even this was not enough. John broke away, seeing confusion in desire darkened eyes.

"Want us both naked."

"Oh! Okay. Okay."

John grinned as Rodney began to pull off his science-blue t-shirt, waiting until Rodney's chest was exposed and his arms still trapped before diving in to lap at a pink nipple, hearing Rodney squeak in surprise as John teased the small nub between his teeth. His fingers carded through the thick chest curls, lighter than his own but so soft. The t-shirt dropped to the ground and strong arms wrapped around John loosely, tugging at the hem of his shirt and drawing it upwards. Releasing the tight nipple, John swiftly dragged off the shirt, letting it drop to the floor beside Rodney's. Pants and boxers followed quickly, adding to the pile of clothing strewn across the floor and then all John could think about was the heat and feel of Rodney's silken flesh against his as they kissed frantically, biting and licking while hands roamed eagerly over naked skin.

He pushed his thigh between Rodney's strong, pale legs, feeling Rodney rock against him rhythmically, and matching him thrust for thrust. Warm slickness of precome added to the pleasure and Rodney's hands dug into John's ass, holding him tight as he buried his face into John's neck and cried out. The flood of liquid heat against his belly and thigh sent shock waves of intense pleasure rolling over John and he whimpered his release, body trembling from the sensations crashing through him, his knees threatening to buckle beneath him as they clung to each other. Finally, they collapsed onto the narrow bed in a tangle of limbs, raining kisses upon any exposed flesh as John maneuvered himself partially on top, rising up on his elbow to gaze down at this friend who had become his lover.

****

  
_Mirror Universe_  


It was a race that John could not afford to lose. He ran flat out, barely checking the life signs detector for fear of seeing that single important blip fade away in death, trusting in his sense of direction to lead him to McKay even though Sam had belittled that on a few occasions. He stopped abruptly, holding up his hand to bring the others to a halt behind him. Two blips showed on the detector, almost on top of each other and John took a deep breath as he gave hand signals that spread his men out. With a single, direct thought, the door slid open and John fired, the P90 jumping in his hand as he pumped bullet after bullet into the Wraith who had been hovering over the still form of Rodney McKay, hand drawn back ready to slam onto the unprotected chest of its victim. The Wraith seemed to dance as more bullets tore into him from other angles, falling to the ground lifeless. John let Bates and Ford check the Wraith while he dropped to his knees beside the unconscious figure of McKay.

He flinched as Bates let loose another half a dozen rounds into the body.

"Just making sure, Sir," he said with a snarl. Bates still carried physical reminders of his own run-in with a Wraith just before the siege. Only the Wraith's determination to remain in the city with no one aware of his presence had prevented it from feeding upon Bates. Instead, it had beaten him mercilessly, forcing Beckett to place Bates into an induced coma while he healed from his injuries. Bates spent the entire siege in that coma; brought out of it only once the city was safe, and reviving to the knowledge that he had not been there to protect the scientists and soldiers that he had grown to think of as family during their year out of communication with Earth.

John turned back to his newfound friend, staring at the slack features.

McKay's jacket was hanging loose, his shirt torn open from neck to waist, revealing unmarked, pale flesh covered in soft brown curls. John breathed a sigh of relief as he touched the warm flesh, his fingers moving to the pulse point at McKay's throat, taking a moment to savor the steady beat of McKay's heart.

"Alive...but stunned," he murmured to no one in particular before turning to his lieutenant. "Get a clean up team down here to take care of this mess...and Gall."

"And McKay?"

Johhn ignored Ford. "Bates? Cover my six while I get McKay out of here. The rest of you, stay sharp." He looked at Miller and then, pointedly, at the dead Wraith. "He might not be the only one hiding down here, and until we get the sensors back online and reinforcements arrive, you keep watching the detector."

Miller nodded, knowing he was the only other person present who had the ATA gene and so he was the only one who could operate the handheld detector. "Yes, sir," he responded, eyes dropping immediately to the detector John handed over to him.

John made sure his P90 was clipped safely to his vest and his handgun's holster unclipped before he reached down and grabbed one of McKay's arms. With a grunt, he pushed his shoulder into McKay's abdomen and hoisted him up into a fireman's lift, wrapping his free arm around the back of McKay's knees.

"Damn, he's heavy."

Bates raised half his mouth in a cross between a smile and a sneer. "Scientists," he stated, knowing the single word just about summed up the physical as well as mental characteristics of more than three quarters of the personnel in Atlantis. As far as the soldiers were concerned, very few of the scientists exercised or ate properly, making them unfit and unhealthy in their eyes.

John gave a half grin in response before heading out of the door, eyes watchful as he moved through the corridors, working his way back towards the transporter station. He could hear Bates behind him, light footed and vigilant. Although he and Bates had not always seen eye to eye over the security of the city and the expedition, he trusted the soldier with his life and was glad to have him at his back. They made it back without incident, and John pressed the location of the transporter booth closest to the infirmary on the city map, feeling the slightly odd sensation of dematerializing and reintegrating as they arrived at their destination. He repositioned McKay on his shoulder slightly.

"Going to make Beckett put you on a diet, McKay. You could do with losing a few pounds," he stated to the unconscious man, gaining a chuckle from Bates.

They headed straight for the infirmary, surprising Carson Beckett as he was packing items into a medical kit.

"What the..? Put him down over there, Colonel." Carson indicated towards a bed and John dropped the heavy weight with heartfelt gratitude. "I heard about the Wraith but no one mentioned you were on your way here with Rodney. I was about to head out there." He indicated towards the kit lying half close by.

"I don't want anyone out there except military personnel until we've swept the area for more Wraith," John replied.

"But what about Gall?"

"Gall's dead."

"Oh my god!"

John looked away from the stricken face, turning back to stare down at McKay. Gall had been with them since the beginning, becoming part of the small family struggling to survive in the Pegasus galaxy. As Carter's second, John had spoken to him often, actually liking the slightly vain and intelligent man. Now Gall was dead like so many others, culled by the Wraith. Carson moved up beside John, both of them pushing aside thoughts of the dead to concentrate on the living. Stepping back, John watched for a moment as Carson took control of his patient, handing out orders to his staff. He turned away as a nurse pulled the curtain around the bed, cutting McKay off from John's view.

With a nod to Bates, he left the infirmary, intending to head straight back out to generator 3 but came up short when Kavanagh hurried towards him.

"I need to tell you the rest."

"The rest of what?"

"The Wraith didn't cause the malfunction in the generator or in the city sensors for that sector."

"Then what did?"

"Not what, who."

"Okay, who?" he asked with growing annoyance.

"At first I thought it was McKay, but then I realized someone was deliberately trying to forge his digital signature within the files in such a clever way that no one would suspect otherwise...unless they happen to be very familiar with--"

"Who was it?" John interrupted, almost reaching out to grab the scientist by the t-shirt so he could drag the information out of him if necessary.

"Dr. Carter."

"What?" John stared at the man in disbelief, eyes dropping to the laptop that Kavanagh had cradled in his arms. The scientist turned it round and showed John the screen. The data was meaningless to him but Kavanagh had no reason to lie about any of this. He turned to Bates. "Locate Dr. Carter, but don't approach her. I don't want her to know that _we_ know."

"Yes, sir."

John watched him leave, deep in thought as he considered the woman he had planned to marry before his journey into an alternate universe made him question the doubts already lurking in his mind. He thought of Peter Grodin, trapped in the weapons' platform after Carter's attempt to power up the weapon sealed the lock. Weir had written up the incident as a tragedy but he knew she'd had her doubts. Miller seemed to think there had been plenty of time to go back for Grodin but Sam ordered him to take the jumper as far away as possible and he had wondered if it could be a coincidence that the distance she specified just happened to be outside the shock wave for the weapons' platform exploding.

John had heard rumors concerning Grodin and his attacks on Sam's work; yet, John could not believe that Sam would deliberately endanger everyone on Atlantis by orchestrating the destruction of the platform just to eliminate Peter Grodin, not when they had a fleet of Wraith ships heading straight towards them. Now, he was not so sure, not with McKay lying in the infirmary and Gall dead, sucked dry by a Wraith and not when both of those men had crossed swords with Sam recently concerning her work and, where McKay was involved, her private life too.

He thought of all the time he had spent with McKay recently, time that he used to spend with Sam. He knew she was upset with him because he would spend his free time in her laboratory, touching ancient artifacts for her after the gene therapy failed to work with her. He knew she was incredibly angry when she learned that the therapy had taken with McKay, giving him the gene albeit artificially. He knew that McKay's ability to switch the ancient devices on and off at will irked her too but could all of this have been enough for her to consider murdering him?

He thought of Grodin again and was shocked to realize that he could actually believe it of her.

"Colonel?"

John pulled out of his terrible thoughts and opened his mouth to reassure and thank Kavanagh but he heard the double click of his headset and reached for it. Bates spoke through the radio.

"We have a problem. I think Dr. Carter knows we are on to her. She's holed up in her lab."

"On my way." John looked at Kavanagh, who stood in front of him with a smug grin that John wished he could wipe off the man's face. He knew he ought to be grateful to Kavanagh but, instead, the news had come as a terrible blow as he wondered how he could have believed he knew her so well. His thoughts returned to the other John Sheppard. How had that man figured out so much about Sam Carter from just those few short hours with her when he had spent a year beside her and not seen it?

"Colonel?" Kavanagh's smirk had faded in confusion.

Though it hurt to say it, John gave a hard smile. "Good job, doctor," he stated and moved away swiftly.

When he reached the door to Sam's laboratory, he found Bates standing outside looking agitated. "No response, sir."

"Okay."

John stepped up and mentally commanded the door to open to find Sam standing in the center of her laboratory, blue eyes wide with confusion. He narrowed his eyes as she stared straight at him with little recognition. She straightened, swallowing hard.

"Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter, United States Air Force."

John's eyes widened in shock. Everything about this version of Sam Carter was wrong, from her posture to her calm voice in the face of a possible crisis. Everything screamed military to John and his eyes darted about the laboratory until they alighted upon a familiar object, the Quantum mirror. He paced towards it, dread filling him when he saw no reflection and no ripple, only then spotting the damaged control section set within the ornate frame. Sam had escaped into an alternate universe and destroyed the only means of getting her back here to face her crimes.

****

  
_Our Universe_  


Sam opened her eyes and looked about the small cabin, smiling when she realized her escape had been successful. Even if John realized where she had gone, she knew he would not be able to bring her back as she had set the timer to destroy the mirror ten seconds after she touched the strange reflective surface of the inter-dimensional vortex. She wondered what reality she had crossed into, hoping it was the same one that the other Sheppard had come from as he and his McKay had ruined her life. If he had not put all his trust in his McKay then he would not have insisted on bringing the Rodney McKay of her universe to Atlantis. Perhaps, then, she and her John would still be together.

As it was, her attempt to get rid of her McKay had failed because of that snooping, pony-tailed, poor excuse for a scientist called Kavanagh, and she would make sure he paid in this universe too, along with this McKay and Sheppard. Then, all she had to do was touch the mirror again and escape to yet another reality as she had destroyed the DNA key sequence linking her back to her own universe.

Sam grinned, aware that she could spend the rest of her life jumping from one reality to another, taking her revenge on every John Sheppard and Rodney McKay she came across. That pleasurable thought died away when she spied the uniform draped over the chair beside her bed, obviously set out ready to be pulled on quickly in case of an emergency. She pulled on the cotton t-shirt and then the olive pants, smoothing the slightly coarse fabric as she stared at herself in the full length mirror. Sam smiled in approval.

"I look good in a uniform," she stated softly to herself before sitting down to pull on and lace up her boots.

Opening the door, she stepped out into unfamiliar corridors, aware instantly that this was not the SGC. A slight vibration in the decking beneath her feet brought back memories of the short time she had spent on the _Prometheus_. She had helped to design the _Prometheus_. Part of her was glad as she had not wanted to find herself at the SGC. The memories of Jack were too strong there, and of his betrayal.

If only he had not asked her for a divorce. If only he had kept his promise to love and keep her, in sickness and in health. Instead, she had to ensure he kept his vow...until death do us part. McKay had almost ruined her plan by offering up a subroutine that would have given Jack a ninety percent chance of survival but, fortunately, the weak-minded military had accepted her explanation and McKay had suffered even further for questioning her abilities.

"Damn him for coming back into my life and ruining everything," she snarled under her breath, smiling brightly when a passing crewman frowned at her. She strode on quickly, heading for the bridge, having already formulated a plan that would get her sent to Atlantis.

****

  
_Mirror Universe_  


Rodney could hear voices; the voices of people he liked, of someone he had grown to love over such a short time, and one other voice, a voice that he hated. He wanted to ignore that voice and tried to focus only on the ones he cared about but that hated voice intruded. Why?

He let the voice in, let it flow across him and he frowned because it held subtle differences to the one he had come to dislike so intensely. The voice stressed on different syllables, and held the warm sweetness of honey rather than the false sugar of Saccharine that felt bitter on his tongue. He never liked to dwell on this but he often heard voices with all of his senses rather than as mere sound. He loved the cadence when some spoke, the rhythm of others. Some voices sang so sweetly to his ears that he could almost listen to them rather than drown them out with his own, even when they were talking complete nonsense. Others were like nails against a blackboard, grating and distorting. Hers had sounded so sweet and juicy when he first met her, so warm and mellow like eating a ripe peach and feeling the illicitness as the juice ran down your chin and throat but that taste soon turned to sawdust in his mouth.

John Sheppard asked a question, his voice clear and lazy, like a hot summer's afternoon basking in sunshine without a care in the world. His voice made Rodney feel safe and warm, soothing the raw edges of his fear. She answered and Rodney heard something that had to be wrong. He heard that hated voice admit to being fallible; admit to making mistakes even if minor in nature--and Rodney knew something bad had happened.

He cracked open his eyes and saw Carter seated on the bed opposite, talking with Simpson and Carson but she stopped and turned to look at him, her eyes studying his face for a moment before sliding upwards. Rodney sensed the presence hovering over him, recalling the voice he loved sounding so close. He opened his eyes further to find John Sheppard looking down at him. Lines of worry creased around Sheppard's eyes, smoothing when he realized Rodney was awake and aware.

"Welcome back, Rodney."

"Have I been somewhere?" he asked but frowned as the words coming from his mouth bore no recognition to the ones forming in his head. They were slurred, and he wondered why. The memory slammed back into him. He was standing over the generator when the door opposite slid opened, revealing a creature dressed in macabre black, with long white hair flowing around a ghostly face. Sharp teeth grinned maniacally, the weapon pulsing in his hand, even as it advanced on Gall. Nanoseconds seemed to extend into infinity as his body went rigid in shock, and his last sight as his brain shut down in self-protection was the palm striking Gall in the chest. Gall's scream of agony had followed Rodney down into unconsciousness, spiraling behind him as he free-falled into darkness.

"Wraith!" he cried out, the word almost intelligible and Sheppard seemed to understand, his hand grasping hold of Rodney's flailing one, holding it tight as he leaned so close that all Rodney could see was his face, and those eyes darkened with concern.

"It's dead. You're safe now. You're safe." He crooned softly, that soft voice cradling him, soothing away the panic.

"Dead?"

Sheppard nodded, and Rodney let some of the tension drain out of his body, relaxing back into the pillow as he concentrated upon getting his breathing back under control. He knew nothing of the Wraith apart from what he had gleaned since arriving on Atlantis. He had not lived through the shadow of the siege, had not battled the creatures on strange worlds or ten thousand-year-old cargo ships but what he had learned had struck fear into his soul. Now he understood the terror all too well.

"Gall?"

Sheppard shook his head, his eyes dropping away in loss, and Rodney felt bitter sadness fill him at losing someone who might have become a good friend given a little more time, and Rodney could use some friends. Only then did Rodney remember what he had seen after accessing the control panel of the generator--the unknown subroutine causing the malfunction. Whoever had written it had either been grossly incompetent or had fully intended to sabotage the unit and, judging by what had been waiting for him and Gall, Rodney could only guess that it had been a trap set by the Wraith.

"Wraith? Sabotage?" He stuck to single words rather than waste breath on long incomprehensible sentences.

"No. It was Carter. She set you up and tried to kill you."

Rodney's eyes slid across the room to where Carter was now standing beside the opposite bed, slowly moving towards his bed with a grace and precision that had never been there before. His fear returned as he placed all the clues together; the voice, the admittance of error, and the catlike grace. This was not the Dr. Samantha Carter that he knew. This was another Carter from another universe, which meant the real Carter must have used the Quantum mirror.

"Mirror." He snorted in disgust at his inability to speak, recalling the only other time he had felt like this was when the dentist had pulled a couple of his wisdom teeth, numbing his mouth completely beforehand and for a good hour or more afterwards.

Carter approached, her blue eyes filled with genuine concern. "She tried to obliterate the mirror after crossing through, set it up on a delayed timer but miscalculated the energy required to overcome the dampening effect of the Naquadah within the frame. Fortunately, the frame absorbed most of the energy...or half of Atlantis could have been destroyed."

"Control?"

"I don't know if any of the control functions survived the explosion...but this mirror is different from the one we discovered several years back. Perhaps the one we found was a prototype."

"Then the one here in Atlantis could be the finished product," Simpson added.

"Possible, though all our research shows that the Ancients returned to our galaxy ten thousand years ago so, by that theory, the mirror we found in the Milky Way ought to be a later version."

Rodney rolled his eyes, frustrated beyond all belief at not being able to join in the scientific debate. He had his theories regarding the mirror, lots of them, but no way of getting them across until the Wraith stun wore off. Carter seemed to understand his frustration and she leaned in.

"We'll make a start on cleaning the melted debris from around the mirror. By the time you're back on your feet, we should be ready to begin working on the control unit to see if anything can be salvaged."

Rodney managed to partially raise his eyebrows in shock because he was so unused to the idea of Sam Carter even considering team work unless she would be benefiting from it prestigiously. She gave him a gentle smile that twinkled back from her eyes and Rodney felt himself relax as this alternate reality Carter left, talking animatedly with Simpson but any pleasure was short lived when he caught sight of John Sheppard still staring at the infirmary door long after Carter had walked through it. Although not exactly the same person, Samantha Carter was the woman Sheppard had planned to marry and though he had broken off his wedding to the twisted version of Carter from this reality, Rodney could understand Sheppard's attraction to this counterpart for she was everything his Sam Carter could have been, except Rodney had started to entertain the possibility that Sheppard had transferred that attraction to him. Certainly, they had spent a lot of time together since he arrived on Atlantis.

Perhaps he had read it wrong. Perhaps all Sheppard wanted from him was a chance to redeem himself in the eyes of someone who would never know the difference--the other Sheppard, the one who has chastened this Sheppard through a scribbled note. Perhaps it was simply guilt that convinced Sheppard to make the effort to treat him better.

Rodney could not help but want more than that, even though he had a strong idea of the darkness that could lie inside a man like John Sheppard. He had seen the hard edge displayed so openly when Sheppard sparred with his men, giving no quarter and expecting none, watching the combatants limp away from practice sessions with bloodied noses and bruised muscles. In some ways it was exciting to watch Sheppard fight, seeing the easy grace and sharp intellect working angles, making impossible moves, and anticipating attacks. Often Sheppard sparred with a bear of a man called Halling, an Athosian warrior who had agreed to join Sheppard's team and help the Atlanteans find allies in the Pegasus galaxy.

During one late night conversation, Sheppard had mentioned another warrior called Teyla Emmagan, the leader of the Athosians who had chosen to return to her people. Rodney had a strong suspicion that Carter's jealousy would have been the contributing factor there, tolerating no others close to _her man_ , and most especially no other females.

In the few weeks he had spent on Atlantis, Rodney had seen the way Carter glared at Simpson every time she approached Sheppard, even though she no longer had any sway over Sheppard because he had broken off their personal relationship. Yet, Rodney had been the recipient of those glares too, perhaps more so, as if Carter believed him to be a greater threat some how. Rodney knew he was her superior intellectually, despite her attempts to prove otherwise by discrediting his work but any other threat to her was purely in comparison to her own standing with Sheppard these days. Rodney knew Carter hated him because Sheppard gave him that quirky grin across the briefing room table whenever Rodney questioned Carter's results, and because he valued Rodney's opinion over hers on some subjects. Perhaps most of all, she hated him because Sheppard joined his table for each meal and smiled across the table at him as Rodney told him about the amazing discoveries they had made that day. Often, Carson, Halling and that young lieutenant Ford would join them, and Sheppard would spend most of the meal deliberately baiting Rodney, his lips twitching into a smirk or a smug grin whenever he was successful. It took most of the first week before Rodney realized he was being teased, having become too used to others deliberately trying to be nasty to him, discovering that Sheppard liked it when Rodney gave back as good as he got.

At some point over the past few weeks, Rodney had allowed that growing friendship to become far more meaningful, foolishly believing that Sheppard could actually feel the same way.

When, finally, Sheppard looked away from the doorway, Rodney felt grateful for the paralysis that kept his face expressionless, not wanting to see pity or anger fill Sheppard's eyes. He had lived with disappointment so many times in the past that he would survive it again, though Rodney felt a little piece more of him die inside at the thought.

"You okay?"

"Fine," he mumbled.

"You don't look okay. What's wrong, Rodney?"

Sheppard leaned in closer, his keen eyes staring deep into Rodney's and Rodney had the impression that they were stripping him bare emotionally, tearing away at his defenses, and trying to see deep into the core of his being. Rodney felt a flood of embarrassment rush through him when Sheppard narrowed his eyes and pulled back, lips parted and brow furrowed into a frown. Just when Rodney believed he was going to see Sheppard walk away in disgust, that slow, easy grin stretched across the handsome face, confusing Rodney because he had no clue what had caused it. Before he could even mumble a question, Sheppard was pulling back, his hand squeezing Rodney's shoulder.

"You get some rest while you can. The pins and needles are...not exactly pleasant."

He left the infirmary without a backwards glance, leaving Rodney feeling alone and vulnerable, and more confused than ever.

*****

  
_Our Universe_  


The sound of the gate powering up took Elizabeth by surprise, and she looked to the person assigned to the gate control console for confirmation of what she believed she already knew. There were no teams currently off-world.

"Unscheduled off-world activation."

"Raise the shield," she stated even though it was unnecessary to give the order as it was standard procedure simply to ensure the Wraith did not try to gate in, or the Genii for that matter. "Is there an IDC?"

The operator frowned when nothing came through immediately, and then her eyebrows rose high on her forehead. "It's the SGC."

Rodney came to stand beside her, wearing a worried expression as they both knew that the only remaining ZPM on Earth was nearly depleted. Wasting power by establishing a link to Atlantis rather than using the _Daedalus_ meant something very serious had happened. Silently, Elizabeth hoped that the celebrations for defeating the Goa'uld had not been premature; concerned that Earth could be under attack once more.

"Atlantis, this is General Landry. I'll make this short to conserve power. We are sending the requested assistance immediately. Good luck, Atlantis. SGC out."

"Lower the shield," Elizabeth stated, turning to Rodney with a confused expression. Perhaps Caldwell had made the request using the long range communications powered by the Asgard technology upon the _Daedalus_. If so, then he should have kept her in the loop but, as she had found to her cost on a couple of occasions already, the man seemed to have a huge chip on his shoulder after he was overlooked for the post of military commander here in Atlantis in favor of retaining John Sheppard. Her part in Sheppard's promotion had left him less inclined to share any intelligence or problems within his area unless he needed assistance from one of her people--usually Rodney.

By mutual agreement, she and Rodney moved swiftly to the grand staircase leading down into the gate room. They were halfway down when a single figure stepped through the gate, and Rodney hurried down the remaining steps, grinning with pleasure.

"Dr. McKay. Good to see you again."

Elizabeth recognized their visitor immediately. "Colonel Carter, welcome to Atlantis."

****

Sam grinned, overjoyed at just how easy it had been to manipulate General Landry into sending her to Atlantis via the gate. By the time anyone realized that she had forged the emergency request, making it appear as if it had come from the Asgard stationed on-board the _Daedalus_ , it would be too late for McKay and Sheppard. However, she knew she had only a few hours at best before the fools here realized that no one had made a request for her assistance, so she moved swiftly into her plan of action.

She looked around the gate room, seemingly in awe. "This is everything I dreamed it would be."

"And there's so much more to see." McKay began prattling off a list of discoveries and the implications of each and Sam had to force herself to look fascinated, not wanting to let this persona slip. These were all _her_ discoveries in another reality, and it galled her to hear him taking all the glory for her hard endeavors. She cut him off with a smile.

"I'm hoping to get the chance to see everything but first, I do have a duty to perform. Hermiod requested my assistance on-board the _Daedalus_ as a matter of urgency--"

"Oh." He frowned, perplexed by her admission. "He never mentioned any problems to me before--"

"It's a specialized area that I helped to develop with the Asgard. No doubt he forgot to mention it even to Colonel Caldwell," she gave a rueful smile, hoping to disarm him but secretly enjoying the disgruntled expression on his face. Obviously, this McKay liked to consider himself the top scientist around here...though not for much longer if she had her way. Weir spoke up.

"Well, it looks as if you will have a few hours to spare, Colonel. The _Daedalus_ is not due back for another three hours."

Sam plastered an expression of confusion on her face as she looked to Weir for visual confirmation before letting a bright smile cross her face. She turned the full effect of this smile upon McKay and gained the desired result as he grinned back. "Then that gives me an opportunity to take a guided tour with Dr. McKay."

"Of course," replied Weir, soundly highly bemused by the whole incident but accepting Sam's word nonetheless.

Sam linked her arm through McKay's, her mask almost slipping into a feral grin as the hapless man stammered excitedly and led her away, waiting until they were out of earshot before asking McKay, nonchalantly, "I'd like to meet Colonel Sheppard. I've heard good things about him."

"You would? Oh...Okay."

"But first...I'm starving. Perhaps we could grab something to eat before we start the tour."

As McKay began to lecture her on the terrible food rations forced upon them before the arrival of the _Daedalus_ , Sam let her smile slip, lovingly fingering the small bottle in her jacket pocket and knowing the contents within would, quite literally, take McKay's breath away.

****

  
_Mirror Universe_  


Rodney felt off balance and weak-kneed as he walked along the corridor to the laboratory holding the Quantum mirror. Carter had moved it there after its discovery in the damaged sector of Atlantis, hoping to work out its secrets and shunning all offers of assistance from him even though he had studied the other mirror at Area 51.

His legs wobbled beneath him, forcing him to stop and hold onto the wall but then he regained his equilibrium and moved onwards, not wanting to admit defeat and prove Carson correct in that he would not be able to manage the walk alone. He took a deep breath and pushed onwards, convinced someone had replaced his legs with Jello but at least the painful pins and needles proved that he still had legs to walk on. The door slid open as he approached and he walked in slowly, leaning heavy on a work bench for support as he stared across the room at the mess. Wires snaked everywhere, linking up to monitors and diagnostic tools. The acrid smell of burnt metal still hung in the air though Rodney knew the filters would have removed the worst of it. Sam Carter was on her knees beside the mirror and she looked around upon hearing the door open, smiling at Rodney in a way that unsettled him as he had never seen Samantha Carter's smile so open and warm before. Dark smudges marred her cheek and she added to the smear as she brushed strands of her short blonde hair off her face.

"Just in time, Rodney. We're about to hook up the fresh power supply."

Rodney hobbled over and watched as Simpson placed the last connector. "That's it. We just need to recheck the power configuration equations before flipping the switch." She handed a data pad over to Rodney and he checked through the equations, recognizing a mixture of handwriting, both Carter's and Simpson's, a veritable first but then, this was not _their_ Samantha Carter. Making one small adjustment, he showed it to Carter, cringing inside as she took the tablet from him and stared at his additions.

"Right...that's right."

"It is?"

Confusion flitted through the blue eyes momentarily before she smiled again. "Yes, it is, Rodney. I'd miscalculated the impact of one of the variables on the power fluctuations." She grinned broadly. "Shall we run the first diagnostic?"

The moment of shock passed. "Simpson?" Rodney pointed to the diagnostic panel. "Hit it."

Sparks flew as power surged into the unit and Carter cursed while Simpson shut it off quickly. "This isn't good...the crystal's cracked but we'd hoped it might still be able to take the power surge."

"This technology's is not dissimilar from the Stargate. We could use the control crystal--" stated Simpson but Rodney interrupted.

"And do what exactly? Risk losing the Atlantis Stargate in the slim hope that the crystal technology is compatible and our shot in the dark attempt at reintegrating a power source won't crack that one too, leaving us stranded in the Pegasus galaxy with only the _Daedalus_ as a means to get us home?"

"Point taken, Dr. McKay, but if you have any better solutions then I'd advise you to--"

"The Area 51 mirror is intact, and it has a control panel," he stated simply.

"It's not the same design as this one...but maybe we could cannibalize it for spare parts." Carter stood up, blue eyes dancing in excitement that faded quickly. "Wait, the ZPM at the SGC is reaching entropy. Even if we open the gate to get back to Earth to work on the mirror, it'll take over a month to get back to Atlantis on-board the _Daedalus_ as _Daedalus_ will have to travel back to Earth to pick us up. Unless General Landry will sanction the return trip through the gate."

"Sumner," corrected Sheppard, and Rodney turned to see the Colonel leaning in the laboratory doorway. "General Sumner is in charge of the SGC in this reality and it's unlikely he'll open the gate to Atlantis except in a dire emergency." Sheppard straightened. "Good to see you back on your feet, Rodney."

"Personally, I'd prefer the numbness right now."

"Pins and needles?"

"Steak knives and red hot pokers would be a better description," Rodney groused, vigorously rubbing at one arm. Sheppard gave him that half smirk, half smile that Rodney ought not to find so endearing but had grown to love over the past weeks. "Of course, you've all overlooked the obvious."

"Which is?"

"We take this mirror to Earth. If my theory is correct, its physical location in this reality has no bearing on its connection to any alternate realities. I believe the mirror stores more than just the DNA of the traveler."

Carter's eyes widened. "Of course. It has to recognize which version of say, me, belongs in which reality."

"So if we can recover the data stored within the mirror, we could force _our_ Carter back into this reality as soon as _you_ touch the mirror in this one...just as we did with alternate Colonel Sheppard," Rodney finished with a flourish and a smug grin but the patented Sheppard smile did not appear. Instead, Sheppard's face lost all expression, taking on that hard edge that appeared whenever Sheppard sparred with his men. Rodney frowned, wondering why Sheppard disliked the idea.

"Who returns to Earth with the mirror?"

"Colonel Carter, of course...and I'll be needed--"

"I want you to stay on Atlantis."

"If the _Daedalus_ heads out now, I could be back on Atlantis within six weeks."

"I've already lost one chief scientist. I need you here."

Rodney was stunned by this admission. He felt as if Sheppard had smacked him on the head with a hockey stick. "You...You do?"

"Who else am I going to get to replace Carter?"

"Oh. You want me to...to take over as..." Rodney straightened. "Of course, I am the most qualified person for the job--"

"And the smartest in two galaxies...Or so you say," he added with a teasing light in his eyes, arms folding across his chest as he stepped up close to Rodney, invading his personal space.

The only person who could compete for that title grinned happily, enjoying Rodney's embarrassment at being teased by Sheppard, and Rodney wished they did not have to let this Sam Carter leave. She was smart and beautiful but, more importantly, she was a pleasure to work with unlike her counterpart. Rodney hated to disappoint Sheppard but he felt he owed this Carter the chance to return home and he was the only person in two galaxies, present company included, who had gleaned enough knowledge about the Quantum mirror to transfer the control units successfully, access the necessary data stored in the device, and get her home.

"I have to do this. I'm the only one who--"

"Carter and Simpson could--"

"No. It's like asking Carson to perform brain surgery just because he's a medical doctor."

"You mean he can't perform brain surgery?"

Rodney looked at Sheppard aghast at the very idea. "No," he shook his head.

"So Carter and Simpson couldn't repair the mirror without your expertise?"

Rodney glanced at the two female physicists who were eyeing him curiously. "I'm not saying they couldn't. I'm just saying that the chances of getting it to work at all are greatly increased if I'm there."

Sheppard glanced across at Carter and she nodded. "He's right. I've never worked on the Quantum mirror. I could probably work it out given time but has anyone here considered what my counterpart might be doing in my reality while I'm stuck here? I know what I would be doing in her position."

"Which is?"

"Exactly what she did in this one. Find the Quantum mirror and step through to yet another reality, destroying the mirror in my reality so I have no way of forcing her back here."

"She could displace herself in one reality followed by another until she found a reality where her counterpart no longer exists, leaving no physical connection linking back to here," Simpson added with growing concern.

"Theoretically, we could lose her," added Carter.

"Would that be so bad?"

Rodney looked to Sheppard in shock, noticing him glance across at the Carter currently inhabiting their reality. Any elation he felt at Sheppard wanting him to stay faded, for he realized that all of that could change if this Carter stayed. Rodney was uncertain if he could bear to be this close to John Sheppard only to watch him give his heart to another Sam Carter, no matter how well deserved. Better to take up the position at Antarctica and be alone than stick around to watch Sheppard rip Rodney's heart from his chest and trample it into the dust without ever realizing how much he had hurt him.

"I need to go back. I have a life there. Friends...my work."

Sheppard nodded, lips pressed together in acceptance of her request. He looked to Rodney but Rodney turned away quickly, unable to meet Sheppard's eyes in case the highly perceptive man read the unwanted, unrequited love in his.

"Get it ready to transport," Sheppard stated evenly, and Rodney gave a tight nod as he moved slowly to assist Carter and Simpson.

****

John took a deep breath and walked away. He did not want Rodney to go through the gate back to Earth, convinced that he might never return because of people like Hammond who were convinced Rodney was some pathetic and dangerous jerk rather than a brilliant scientist. His Sam Carter had fostered that belief, feeding it to the military over the years to ensure that the one man who surpassed her in intellect would never be a threat but she had never envisaged the impact of the Quantum mirror.

A single question remained now.

Why? Why was Rodney McKay considered such a threat?

John believed he knew the answer and the very thought of it made his stomach turn because it meant they had been harboring a serial killer in their midst for years, both here and in the SGC. How many tragic deaths had not been accidents? Teal'c? Jack O'Neill? Grodin? Magoto? That brought him up short as he recalled leaving her in the Wraith ship looking after the partially drained Magoto. She had not wanted to stay with the dying man while he went after the superwraith. When she arrived just after he was shot by the wraith, he had been too grateful to even question her concerning Magoto, and together they had managed to hold off the Wraith until Ford arrived and killed it. He had held her in his arms on the fifteen hour journey back to Atlantis as she cried in delayed shock and grief but, what if that had been a ruse to throw him off the scent? Magoto had committed suicide, preferring to blow his brains out rather than die slowly. At least, that is what John thought but the doubts were crowding in now. Magoto had never come across as the suicidal type; the eternal optimist, glass half full, something is better than nothing kind of guy who lived for each moment, enjoying every second in an almost grating way.

At the last report from Sam, only a few minutes earlier, Magoto could barely wiggle his fingers and yet he had lifted the heavy 9mm, holding it steady against his temple, and pulled the trigger. In hindsight, with Gall's death and the attempt on Rodney's life still fresh in his mind, it no longer seemed reasonable to simply assume Magoto killed himself.

He had believed her though, after Magoto, and even after Grodin. He had believed her and believed _in_ her. She had been his oasis within the desert of human contact; the only person on his level that he could talk to openly and the only one who could assuage part of the loneliness that had gripped him since losing Mitch and Dex outside Khabour. He had needed that contact enough to consider marrying her, almost making that grave mistake before a chance discovery swept him away to another reality and showed him a man who could have been his friend; a man who had become his friend.

Until Rodney stepped into his life, John had not realized how cold and empty he felt even with Sam. The thought of losing that friendship filled him with a dread far darker than the grief that had consumed him after losing Mitch and Dex and his rank, in short succession.

He regained his rank and took the first step towards this unique friendship with Rodney on the same day; a lucky day. It spoke of new beginnings, of a fresh start. Half forgotten emotions of love and protectiveness, which he had driven deep into the core of his being, had awoken that day, brought back to life when he looked into the deep blue eyes of a highly intelligent yet vulnerable stranger waiting for him back in this reality.

He could not let Rodney leave him now. He needed this friendship perhaps even more than he needed the man's incredible mind. Yet, how could he convince him to stay if even the offer of taking over as chief scientist on Atlantis was not enough?

John knew he had less than an hour to figure out a way to make Rodney find another solution or, at the very least, give him a good enough reason to fight to come back.

****

  
_Our Universe_  


Rodney grinned as they grabbed sandwiches from the mess hall, not wanting to waste time sitting at a table when he had so much to show Samantha. The city held so many wonders and she, of all people, deserved to witness them firsthand. He took her to the highest balcony on Atlantis, John's favorite balcony where he swore you could almost touch the stars. It commanded the most amazing view across the city and of the deep blue ocean surrounding them. Magnificent spires rose around them, though never quite reaching the dizzying heights of this particular tower. Rodney hung back as Sam stepped towards the balcony rail, as enraptured by her as he was of the awesome vista set before them. A cool breeze ruffled the short strands of her blonde hair but instead of finding that exciting, as he would have in the past, he thought of John's dark hair, imagining the soft spikes tousled by the tiny gusts of wind sweeping between the graceful towers.

Illicit thoughts crept through him, her image disappearing to be replaced by that of his new lover. He grinned as he imagined spreading a blanket across the floor of this balcony, pulling aside all the material trappings of civilization to lie naked in each other's arms, touching the stars together as they soared into ecstasy. It was a fanciful notion and he flushed in embarrassment when Samantha turned and eyed him critically, as if she could read the desire in his eyes and mistook it for her. He cleared his throat and swallowed hard, no longer so willing to sit and eat in this particular place.

"You wanted to see the Quantum mirror. We had it moved to one of the main labs."

Samantha smiled and Rodney felt a shiver along his spine; one of unease. He brushed the feeling aside, having no tangible reason for his sense of foreboding. As they walked back towards the main laboratories, he covered his nervousness with words, unconcerned that she barely spoke in return. He was almost relieved when they reached the laboratory.

"So, what do you think?" he asked, grinning smugly between her and the mirror. Rodney grew a little confused when she merely smiled as if this was nothing truly special at all but, in comparison to the mirror currently residing in Area 51, this was a work of art. Aesthetic and beautifully engineered, and the secrets it held within its ornate frame could unlock the mystery of alternate dimensions. Rodney recalled his conversation with John as they lay together just a few hours earlier, fully sated with the warm post-coital feeling still buzzing between them...

****

_Earlier:_

"Why would they want to explore other dimensions?" John asked, stretching up against Rodney with catlike grace.

"Oh, I don't know. Perhaps they hoped some alternate reality had found a way to defeat the Wraith, negating their need to abandon the city and take a chance on returning to Earth."

"If that's the case then it concerns me that they didn't find anything."

Rodney snorted. "The number of realities is infinite. Finding one particular outcome within infinity would be...like searching for a needle in a giant haystack that filled the entire galaxy. You would need to know exactly where to start looking or--"

"I get it," he sighed softly, leaning over and brushing his lips over Rodney's before drawing back with a frown. "What?"

"Are you supposed to be all those different colors?"

John rewarded the comment with a sarcastic smile, not needing to see the multi-colored bruises adorning his body when Rodney suspected he could feel most of them. Of course, thrusting himself up against Rodney in some frantic effort to crawl right inside his skin could not have eased that situation any but John had made no complaints at the time, and Rodney had never felt better. He stretched too, one hand dropping back onto a warm thigh, feeling the lean muscle ripple as one of John's hands covered his.

"As much as I like this...we can't stay here much longer."

"You think people will talk?"

"Only if we tell them."

"Don't ask, don't tell," Rodney offered bitterly.

John leaned back up on an elbow and looked down at Rodney with an intensity that swept aside any levity. "I want this. I want us."

"I know."

"Good. Just wanted to make sure you have no doubts on that score."

He punctuated his words with another kiss that deepened slowly, a gentle exploration of Rodney's mouth, learning touch and taste. "I love your mouth," he murmured against Rodney's lips and the vibration of those words sent miniature shockwaves racing through Rodney, renewing the desire that licked at his belly and groin as they moved together slowly, rocking gently towards a second climax...

****

His thoughts came back to the present as Samantha stepped up close to him, taking the carry-out bag from his hand.

"Plates?" she asked and he straightened, having planned to simply eat his sandwich out of the bag but raised eyebrows sent him scurrying across the lab, checking in Kavanagh's personal cupboard as he knew the man was far more finicky about eating with plates and cutlery, often forgetting to take them back to the mess hall afterwards. When he found what he wanted, Rodney returned to find both of their sandwiches opened and ready to eat. He handed her the plates and watched as she arranged everything so neatly before handing his sandwich across.

"Tell me about the mirror."

"It's very similar to the one Daniel Jackson stumbled across except this one transfers the consciousness of the individuals rather than their physical bodies."

"What if the alternate reality has no Samantha Carter existing there?"

Rodney frowned. "Maybe that's what they were looking for." His smile grew. "We know the Ancients were experimenting with Ascendancy. What if this was a failed attempt, looking for a reality where they did not exist so the transference would be of pure consciousness."

Sam took a bite out of her sandwich and motioned for him to do the same with his; he talked around the mouthful, excited by the very idea. "With no corporeal form awaiting them on the other side of the dimensional vortex, theoretically, they would have ascended."

"Why didn't it work?"

"Oh," he waved a hand. "Infinite realities. Trying to find one particular..." Rodney trailed off, feeling a strange tingling about his lips. He looked down at the sandwich in his hand, feeling a tightness banding across his chest, his stomach cramping and his tongue becoming thick. He knew this sensation, having faced it several times too many in his life already. His eyes darted about the lab, looking for the jacket he had discarded upon entering only minutes before.

"Looking for this?"

Rodney turned to face the owner of the syrup sweet voice and through blurring eyes he saw her standing just out of reach, holding the Epipen in her hand. He made a grab for it and she pulled it out of his reach, her blue eyes blazing with excitement as he dropped to his knees. He could feel his airways constricting as his body went into anaphylactic shock, his throat closing up, making it harder to draw in each desperately needed breath. His hand reached up to the radio but she stepped in quickly and ripped it off his head, casting it aside. He fell sideways, curling up on the floor, unable even to call for help.

****

The door slid open and Sam jumped.

"What's going on? McKay!"

Sam recovered quickly, holding out the Epipen to the pony-tailed scientist whose snooping had ruined her plans in her own reality.

"He's going into anaphylactic shock. Something he ate."

She watched as Kavanagh grabbed a sharp implement from the work bench and dropped down beside McKay. He sliced through McKay's pants, dropping the knife to rip the material aside by hand, needing to reach bare flesh as he did not want to risk the needle failing to pierce through the thick uniform pants. Once he had uncovered McKay's thigh, Kavanagh stretched out his hand, palm up, expecting her to give him the Epipen. He looked up when he realized she had no intention of doing so.

"The pen," he stated.

"I don't think so." She held it just out of his reach, shaking it between her thumb and finger teasingly.

"What are you doing?"

She grabbed up a heavy tool from the work bench and smashed him across the face, his glasses flying across the lab floor.

"Interfering know-it-all. Well, know this, Kavanagh. You won't be doing any more snooping in this reality...or in the next." She raised the torque wrench again, preparing to deliver a fatal blow when she heard footsteps in the corridor beyond the open doorway. Sam dropped the Epipen and rushed across the laboratory to the mirror.

****

Through doubled and blurred vision, Kavanagh saw the Epipen drop to the floor and he reached for it, missing the first time but grabbing it on the second attempt. He could feel the warm stickiness of blood running down his face but he focused instead on the blue tinged lips and the body shuddering beneath his as McKay fought to draw in one last breath. Frightened eyes locked onto his, glazing over as oxygen failed to reach his brain; McKay was dying. Kavanagh forced off the safety cap and placed the Epipen against the side of the McKay's thigh. He raised it slightly and swung it down firmly to trigger the release of the epinephrine. He knew he ought to vigorously rub the injection site afterwards and tried but his fingers would barely co-operate now, his head spinning, stomach lurching as shock hit his own system. Kavanagh cried out hoarsely, for help, as he slumped over Rodney's legs.

****

John heard the call on the radio, the shock hitting him like ice water, chilling him to the core. He raced through the corridors towards the laboratory at breakneck speed, leaving Elizabeth far behind, and skidded to a halt on the threshold of the laboratory. He froze, staring at the tableau set before him, of Kavanagh seated on the floor, back propped up against the work bench with his bloodied face held in one hand.

"Carter did it," he struggled out between ragged breaths, staring in shocked disbelief towards the body lying at his feet. Rodney.

Just the thought of his lover's name pulled John out of his horror-filled shock and he rushed forward, dropping to his knees beside Rodney, staring into the slack features before looking up at Dr. Schuler's profile.

"Breathe for him," Schuler demanded, as he carried on the compressions on Rodney's chest.

John looked down at the swollen, parted lips that he had kissed with such passion only hours before and he closed down the part of his mind that wanted to scream and rage. He tilted back Rodney's head, pinched his nose and forced a breath into him, refusing to dwell on anything more than the clockwork motion of compressions followed by another breath...over and over. The clatter of equipment and the shove from another body landing beside him barely distracted him from what should have been a pleasurable task--kissing Rodney--the thick Scots brogue giving away the identity of the new arrival. From the corner of his eye, he saw Carson preparing a needle and injecting it into Rodney's arm, losing sight only as the clockwork motion took him back to push air between the blue tinged lips. As he moved back to draw in a breath for his own body, he felt hands pull him away, hearing the high pitched whine of some mechanical device and wondering exactly when someone had cut away Rodney's t-shirt. The too-still body convulsed, back arching upwards from the floor as defibrillator pads sent an electric shock into Rodney's body.

Twice more the whine filled the air, discharging against Rodney.

Medical jargon flowed over John like gibberish in a foreign tongue, meaningless until Carson froze, tearing aside the stethoscope from his ears to lay his cheek against Rodney's furred chest.

"We've got him." His blue eyes danced with joy and the most profound relief as he looked to John. "Pulse increasing, getting stronger. Steadier."

John stared down at the still slack features, watching as the blue-tinge faded from the mouth he loved to kiss so much after such a short time. He looked across at Carson. He had so many questions he wanted to ask, so much he needed to know but Carson was lost in another world, sending out orders with more precision than many military commanders, expecting his orders to be obeyed without question...and his people obliged, reacting like soldiers trained in a different sort of battle. His heart cried out in dismay when they reached for Rodney, tearing him away from John, untangling the fingers that he had not even been aware of clutching within his. His mind unfroze only when Rodney was lost to his sight, spirited away by Carson, and only then did his attention fall to the rest of the laboratory and the woman staring at him in abject horror. He glanced around to question the only other person who must have been present in the laboratory when this disaster struck but Kavanagh was nowhere in sight, probably removed while he battled to breathe life into the person he loved beyond life itself. Only _she_ remained.

John stalked towards her, pausing a few feet away, gazing at her with a predatory eye.

"What happened?"

"I--I don't know. I was sitting in my laboratory on the _Prometheus_ one moment and then..."

Her voice trailed off and John continued to stare at her for another full minute before his eyes drifted towards the Quantum mirror, seeing the dilemma. His initial thought was to make her touch the mirror in order to pull her counterpart back into this reality, swapping this one for the one who tried to kill his Rodney, except Carter had already tricked them once. What if this was another trick? What if the Carter standing before him was the potential killer, hoping to bluff him into setting her free and thereby giving her more time to destroy the mirror in the next reality while he interrogated some innocent copy of her in this? He gave her a feral grin, realizing she had made a grave mistake if that was the case. If this really was yet another Samantha Carter and she spoke the truth about being on-board the _Prometheus_ , then he had a few hours at least before she could figure out a way to get to Atlantis to destroy the mirror....and if she was lying, then it did not matter at all.

"Take her down to the holding cells. I'll be along shortly."

John strode out of the laboratory. He was the head of the military on Atlantis and, until he indicated otherwise by word or deed, his orders would be obeyed without question no matter how high her rank within the military. Only one thought governed his actions now, and that was Rodney. He had to see him, touch him, and he had to know for certain that Rodney would be all right. The only person who could offer him that assurance was Carson Beckett.

****

  
_Mirror Universe_  


Rodney snapped orders as his assistants brought the damaged Quantum mirror to the gate room. It had taken over forty minutes to prepare it from transportation as no one wanted to risk any further damage just in case his idea to use the Area 51 mirror failed. With a heavy sigh, he rubbed at his fingers, wishing he could kick off his shoes and rub his toes too. At least the pins and needles had dropped in severity to mildly irritating but that did not explain the way his heart was lurching in his chest as he stared at the Stargate. Admittedly, the number of times he had traveled through the Stargate could be counted on one hand, and the last couple of trips had been nothing compared to his first. Intergalactic gate travel was definitely harder on the body than local travel, he decided. However, even that nervousness could not explain the dread that formed a solid mass in the pit of his stomach.

Without volition, he glanced up to find Sheppard watching him intensely, and Sheppard seemed to decide that this momentary eye contact gave him the right to come down the stairs. He paused beside Rodney and Rodney could not help but take a look at the handsome profile, seeing the tight lips and slightly narrowed eyes staring at the mirror as if in pure hatred. He noticed Rodney's surreptitious regard and turned.

"I don't want you to go." His eyes bore into Rodney's, hard and intense but with frustration rather than hatred or anger. "Are you sure there's no other way to fix this thing?"

"Yes...no...I mean, I'm sure."

Sheppard's eyes narrowed even further. "You play poker?"

The question threw Rodney and he frowned, trying to find the logic in change of subject. "What? Errh...Sometimes."

"You're not very good at it, are you?"

"What?" He gave a choked laugh, eyes flicking away to where the mirror was being prepared for the final stage of its journey to Earth, unable to meet the intensity in Sheppard's gaze.

"You have this twitch...and a nervous laugh--"

"No, I do not," he stated in mock indignation, turning back to Sheppard but the Colonel was not buying it. Instead, the man folded his arms over his chest and moved in closer, invading Rodney's personal space as he leaned all the way in, his head turning first one way and then the other as he tried to make Rodney look him straight in the eye.

"Then look me in the eye and tell me there isn't another way to do this thing."

Rodney swallowed hard and forced back the fear, looking into Sheppard's eyes and almost losing it because he had never looked so deeply into anyone's eyes before, let alone a man he had come to respect and, dare he admit it, love. Those eyes were so clear, reflecting the blue of Rodney's eyes but with striations of green and gold. Rodney steeled himself.

"There is no other way."

"Liar," Sheppard drawled, his eyes narrowing just a fraction, head tilting slightly and lips parting with a bemused smile.

"I'm..." Shocked at being called on his bluff, Rodney opened his mouth to say something else but the words froze in his mouth. He snapped his mouth closed, tightening in anger. "Fine. I'm a liar so you won't mind seeing the back of me."

"Rodney."

"Maybe you'd be better off getting rid of me--"

"RODNEY!" he exclaimed more forcibly in a harsh whisper. His voice softened. "I don't want you to go."

And Rodney did not want to go. Not truly. His career so far had stunk to high heaven despite all that he had seen and done in Russia, Area 51 and Antarctica. He knew he should have been more than what he had been. The other Sheppard had told him in words and shown him by his trust in him that Rodney had found more on the other Sheppard's Atlantis than Ancient technology. He had found respect, recognition, friendship, and maybe even love but the event that had diverged the path of this reality from that one had left its mark on all the people he knew, especially John Sheppard and himself. They were not the same people from that other reality. He had seen it reflected in the other Sheppard's eyes both in the flesh and through the mirror after the exchange. Both he and this Sheppard were damaged. Broken in some way that he could never truly comprehend and he had no idea if either of them could be fixed. That left him with few options if he wanted to retain what little pride and sanity remained after all these years of being marginalized by his peers. Except, this Sheppard wanted to try to fix something.

"Why?"

"Why?" Sheppard looked taken aback, as if he had not expected to have to explain himself, or maybe he had not thought that far ahead. "Because..." he pulled a face as if struggling to find the reason or the right words, "...I want you to stay," he finished lamely.

"Not good enough, Colonel."

"Not good enough?"

"What are you? A parrot now?"

"Okay," Sheppard stated firmly, losing that confused look, his eyes hardening with resolve. "I want you to come with me."

"What?" Sheppard grabbed Rodney's arm and began to draw him towards the corridor but Rodney dug his feet in. "Colonel, I have work to do--"

"I have something to say and I don't need an audience for it, and neither do you."

Rodney relented, allowing Sheppard to lead him to a large storage room just off the gate room. The Colonel gave a mental command to lock the door behind them and then he began to pace back and forth between the lines of shelving. Rodney folded his arms over his chest, fists clenched defensively even though he knew he could never hope to fight off this man if it came down to trading punches. Instead of using his fists, he used his brain to intimidate.

"I haven't got all day, so unless you have something important to--"

Sheppard whipped round and grabbed him by the face, pressing his lips hard against Rodney's, effectively shutting him up. He pulled back viciously, dropping his hands to his sides and stepped back several feet, breathing hard as he stared at Rodney. For once, Rodney was lost for words, and his trembling fingers rose to touch his burning lips.

"You kissed me."

"I. Want. _You_. To stay," Sheppard stated slowly, enunciating each word carefully so there could be no mistake about what he wanted. "There has to be another way because I am _not_ going to let you step through that gate."

"You're...you're not?"

"No."

"But...the mirror is in the gate room and--"

"Carter has caused enough pain already. She can sort out her own problems."

" _This_ Carter deserves a chance to go home."

"Which means we get back what exactly? A homicidal woman bent on killing _you_ because she sees you as her greatest rival both personally and professionally."

"Well...put that way it does seem a little--"

"I want our Carter back. I want her to pay for what she's done to you...and to others." He shook his head, stepping back towards Rodney again and, this time, reaching up to cup Rodney's face in strong but gentle hands. "But not if the price is losing you."

"The DHD."

"What? What DHD?"

"Another one...on another planet. We could interface the mirror to the DHD. Reprogram the crystal to control the mirror." Rodney sighed having already considered and then dismissed this idea as he thought the control crystal within the DHD might be too weak to take the strain of opening an interdimensional vortex. If the control crystal fractured then they could end up trapped on another world. "It's a long shot but--"

"If we take a jumper, we can use the on-board DHD to dial up the gate if doesn't work."

Rodney blinked. Although he had seen a puddle jumper on the outside, he had yet to actually study one. "They can dial..? But--"

"There are plenty of planets in the gate network that are not so great for human life."

"Oh...okay." Rodney said, his other fear alleviated.

"Then let's go tell everyone the change in plans."

Rodney heard the lock snick back and the door slide open and he ducked his head as he followed Sheppard out, wondering if anyone could see the flush of his cheeks or would notice the swelling of his lips from that brutal but desperately wanted kiss. He just hoped this plan would work because, if the promises held in Sheppard's eyes were to be believed then Rodney did not intend to step through that gate again unless John Sheppard was by his side.

****

  
_Our Universe_  


Upon entering the infirmary, John stared towards the second bed, hearing Kavanagh's complaints coming from beyond the curtain and, although he owed Kavanagh, John knew he could not deal with that until he knew Rodney's condition. The only other bed curtained off was quiet. Too quiet for someone who knew the occupant of the bed so well and John approached slowly, stopping just outside. The curtain pulled back suddenly and John tensed as he came face to face with one of the nurses.

"Colonel Sheppard!" she exclaimed and he tried to look apologetic for startling her but Carson stuck his head out.

"Colonel?"

Carson held the curtain open in obvious invitation and John stepped into the inner sanctum, eyes finding Rodney's still form immediately, traveling upwards to the slack features. He took in all the medical paraphernalia that meant little to him except for the knowledge that it was necessary to keep Rodney alive. He wanted to reach out and touch Rodney's hand, to feel warm flesh beneath his fingers so he could convince himself that this unnatural stillness was no threat to his future happiness. Strange, but he had enjoyed watching Rodney dozing only a few hours ago, his own limbs heavy with post-coital lethargy but his mind spinning with pleasure that went beyond mere physical. Now, all he wanted was to see those beautiful blue eyes open.

"How is he?"

"Two cracked ribs from the compressions but, otherwise, he's holding his own." Carson's eyes held both seriousness and compassion in equal measure. "I'm not going to sugar coat it, Colonel. We nearly lost him...and if it had not been for Dr. Kavanagh and then for Dr. Schuler..." He let his words hang ominously.

"Yeah...guess I'm going to have to thank Schuler...and Kavanagh," he added almost as a distasteful afterthought for, like Rodney, he had never got along with the other scientist. The man was clever enough when he bothered to listen and take the advice of others but was quick to report any infringement of the rules or mistakes made just to cover his own ass. At least this proved that the man wasn't the completely selfish jerk that most people assumed.

Carson smiled. "Aye. I can't wait to see how Rodney will react when he learns he owes his life to Dr. Kavanagh."

Knowing he would find no censure in Carson's eyes, John gave into his need and touched Rodney's hand, feeling some of the tension leave him as the warmth of Rodney's skin seeped into his fear-chilled flesh. He sighed softly.

"Let me know when he wakes up."

"Will do, Colonel."

John nodded and with one last look, he slipped back through the curtain and headed out of the infirmary. He had questions and he needed answers, and he had a prisoner in the holding cell who could provide him with those answers.

****

  
_Mirror Universe_  


Sam wiped the sweat off her face as she and Rodney pulled open the panel in the DHD to access the crystal technology lying beneath. His idea was only marginally better than Simpson's' earlier suggestion of using the control crystal in the Atlantis and only then because no one would be stranded anywhere. The jumper stood halfway across the clearing, close enough to run to in case of any trouble but far enough to avoid any damage should anything go wrong while they were playing around within the innards of the DHD. Part of her wondered why he had not suggested it before and she felt that Colonel Sheppard might have something to do with that.

Rodney whined occasionally as sweat trickled into his eyes, making them sting but, otherwise, he worked in near silence. From what she had gleaned, this Rodney had spent time in Russia too, studying the Naquadah and the Russian DHD, which she had been forced to use and destroy in order to save Teal'c when he got stuck in the Stargate buffer. She knew her own knowledge of the device equaled his but sensed that he needed to be the one in charge here so he could regain some of the spark that she missed seeing from the Rodney in her own reality. A smile crossed her lips at that thought as most people would prefer this slightly less egotistical version--but not her.

Once she had pushed through all the layers of arrogance and ego, she discovered in her Rodney a man who was really quite insecure with people, using bluster and sarcasm to keep them at arms' length. On the few occasions where they collaborated after the Anubis incident, while designing the _Prometheus_ , they worked exceptionally well together and she wished she had taken the time to tell him that he was wrong about one thing. He was an artist, finding that hidden talent once he was able to give up the tight control he held over his actions through fear of others belittling his work. It was a strange dichotomy for he was either completely unaware of his embarrassing lack of social graces or totally unfazed by what others thought of him personally and yet respect from his peers for his work seemed of paramount importance.

"Got it," he stated, drawing back, trailing tiny spaghetti-like fibers behind him.

He crawled out from underneath the DHD and groaned, rubbing his knees. The Stargate stood above them on a high platform and the Quantum mirror stood propped up against the side of the stone stairs leading up to it. Sam played out the newly connected fibers, smiling tightly as Simpson pulled away the last of the debris, revealing the control unit built into the ornate frame of the mirror. Rodney scurried over, slapping the dust from his pants, his ever present shadow of Colonel Sheppard following him in silence.

It did not take a genius to see that they were friends and might possibly even be lovers, though if not already then in the near future. Sheppard was not so obvious in his affection but Rodney gave it away with every shy glance in Sheppard's direction. His bright blue eyes softened, his crooked smile twitched and his fingers rubbed over his lips in shocked pleasure, as if remembering a stolen kiss. It was so sweet that Sam felt no sense of loss or jealousy at seeing the two together. Of course, Rodney's interest in the Colonel had not come as such a great shock to her anyway, for Jonas had spoken of that one occasion when he had slept with Rodney at the SGC, feeling guilty at taking a little pleasure while the planet lay under the threat of total destruction from Anubis.

"Colonel...hold this." Rodney pulled out the cracked crystal from inside the mirror and shoved it into Sheppard's hand. "You I need here," he snapped his fingers at Simpson and she rolled her eyes before obliging him, taking hold of the thin translucent fibers that Sam's counterpart had damaged in the explosion. Without a schematic, Sam knew she and Simpson could spend months trying to figure out which of the spaghetti thin fibers connected where but Rodney worked slowly and with an air of confidence, stopping only every so often to rub at fingers that were still tingling from the wraith stun and to allow Sam and Simpson to exchange positions when Simpson's' hands began to tremble from fatigue.

He dropped the small tool, hissing in annoyance and falling back onto his ass in the dust with one hand cradled within the other. "Cramp," he stated through gritted teeth but, before Sam could respond, Sheppard was by Rodney's side, the hand taken between his two; his strong, callused thumb dug into the muscles, massaging the cramped hand and fingers. After a few minutes, Rodney pulled his hand away, his face still flushed with embarrassment.

"Better?" Sheppard asked.

"Yes. Fine."

Sam handed Rodney the tool and held the small bundle of fibers steady while Rodney continued, watching and learning with acute interest. An hour later, Rodney sank back again, groaning as he stretched.

"Oh, that's going to need a chiropractor," he stated as he flexed muscles that had tightened in his neck, shoulders and back from being held in an uncomfortable position for far too long. Secretly, Sam wondered if Sheppard would offer to massage those areas later.

Casting aside that thought, Sam took over, her smaller fingers finding it easier to make the final connections required to bypass the damaged circuitry while Simpson finished connecting everything to the DHD. They all took several steps back, looking between the mirror and the DHD before sharing a look between them. Rodney cleared his throat.

"If this works then you'll be sent back to your own reality...if not then--"

"It will work."

"But if it doesn't work--"

"It will work, Rodney."

"I know but I'm just saying if it doesn't--"

"Rodney." She put two fingers against his lips to stop his words and then leaned in, replacing her fingers with her lips, kissing him gently. "Thank you."

"I'm...I enjoyed working with you."

"Me too." She spared a grateful look for Simpson, clasping her hand in thanks before drawing in a deep breath. They had no idea how long the crystal would last before the immense power required for opening an inter-dimensional vortex overloaded it, causing it to fracture, so Sam was prepared to touch the mirror as soon as the vortex opened. She knew it would be a gamble but Rodney seemed confident that the database holding the patterns of her and her murderous counterpart was still accessible, and Sam trusted him.

Sheppard took a few steps forward. "Okay, Rodney. Before you go plugging anything in, I want you and Simpson to stand well back. Ford, Miller, Jerome, take up position."

Sam reached out one last time and grasped Rodney's hand. "I'll say hello to your counterparts."

"Hope you won't mind if we don't welcome your counterpart back with open arms," Rodney stated softly.

She nodded once and Rodney pointed a finger at Simpson, silently commanding her to flip the switch that would make the final connection, allowing the mirror to draw power from the DHD and through it, from the Stargate. Sam took a deep breath, smiling brightly as the mirrored surface of the vortex shimmered within the frame, catching Rodney's triumphant grin reflected back at her when it stilled momentarily. The image refracted into millions of tiny pieces before coalescing into a new image of a laboratory on Atlantis.

"Here goes nothing," Sam stated and reached out to touch the rippling surface, feeling a moment of disorientation, half expecting to find herself in the Atlantean laboratory but straightening in shock when she found herself some place a lot darker, surrounded by force field bars. Before her stood Colonel Sheppard, with his expression hard and unforgiving.

"Colonel Sheppard?" He frowned, eyes narrowing in suspicion. Sam drew to attention. "Colonel Samantha Carter." She reeled off her serial number. "Please tell me I'm home."

****

  
_Mirror Universe_  


"Where am I?" Samantha Carter turned away from the mirror and looked at the soldiers surrounding her; John sighed in frustration. This was the one flaw in the plan because they had no way of knowing which Carter stood before them--although he could hazard a guess that it was not the one that had just touched the mirror. That Carter had gone somewhere, to be replaced by this one.

He noticed that Rodney had disconnected the power to the mirror the moment the exchange took place, preventing any chance of this Carter attempting a jump to yet another reality. Whoever she was, she was trapped here now until Rodney reactivated the mirror.

"Rodney?" John implored, hoping the scientist had a way to confirm the identity of the Carter standing before them.

"It's her," Rodney choked out, face taut and eyes hard.

"How do you know?" John spoke more harshly than he intended, seeing Rodney flinch. He threw an apologetic glance across and saw Rodney relax just a fraction, apology accepted.

"I know because I set up the inter-dimensional vortex to connect only with a Carter stored in the database buffer, which gives us only one of two possible outcomes. Either Colonel Carter would still be standing here, in which case she would have no need to ask where she was, or we have... _our_ Carter back," his mouth curled distastefully on the word _our_.

A cruel smile curled on the lips of the woman facing John and Rodney. "Very clever, McKay."

"I thought so," he stated, raising his chin in a mixture of smugness and defiance.

"Too bad no one here cares how clever you think you are." She gave John a gently pleading look. "Do they, John?"

"Dial Atlantis," John ordered as she smiled triumphantly. He watched as Ford disappeared inside the jumper, activating the gate via the DHD on-board, and sending through his IDC before returning. "Take her away. I'll follow later with McKay in the jumper, once we get the DHD fixed."

The smug grin dropped from her face at his words, aware that she no longer held any influence over her ex-fiancé. Ford took her arm but she shrugged off his grasp viciously, lips curling back from her lips as she looked at Rodney. "I might not have had my revenge here but at least there's one less McKay out there now because of you."

Her words made no sense unless...The realization of what she had done sickened John, his eyes automatically seeking his Rodney as he wondered if the McKay she had killed was the same one he had met during his incident with the mirror. He hoped not for the sake of the John Sheppard in that reality, and for his own sake too as that McKay had been the reason why he had given this Rodney a chance. He owed that Rodney McKay and John Sheppard far more than just the chance to come home. He owed them both for giving him something worth coming home to, for bringing this Rodney to Atlantis.

Ford grabbed at Carter again, dragging her towards the open Stargate, and she struggled uselessly in his tight grip. She twisted back, spitting venomous words over her shoulder as she was led away.

"Not interested in how I killed him, Rodney?" She taunted, sneering his name. "You ought to be because you gave me the idea."

John had never heard so much hatred in her voice. Internally, he shuddered in horror, knowing he had planned to marry her at one time. How could he have misjudged her character so badly? Instead, he had played right into her lies, letting her use him to pour scorn on her colleagues and spread distrust in their abilities. Making him dependent upon her scientifically and, dare he admit it, socially too. She had everyone wrapped around her finger--from Hammond, to Sumner...to him, and now he could only imagine the number of people who had paid the ultimate price for his blinkered view of her.

She shouted louder as Ford marched her up the steps, flanked by Jerome and Miller. "I poisoned him...with lemon! And then I stood by and watched him die."

Rodney closed his eyes and John could see his fists clenched so tight against his sides that the knuckles were white but John could not blame him, silently wishing he could stop her words with a bullet through her skull. Thankfully, any further words were cut off as Ford took her through the Stargate. Throwing a look at Simpson, John nodded towards the shimmering blue ring and, unlike Rodney, she was socially adjusted enough to take the hint and go, leaving him alone on the planet with Rodney. As the Stargate closed down behind Simpson, John stepped up close to Rodney, placing his hands on his intended lover's shoulders, and shaking him gently until Rodney opened his eyes.

"We had lunch one time at the SGC and they were serving lemon chicken. I told her I was deathly allergic to lemons." His eyes were round with shock and suspiciously bright with unshed tears. "I told her what would happen in graphic detail. I never thought...Oh God, she stood by and watched him die."

Sorrow filled John, recalling the way the other Rodney had described death by anaphylactic shock.

"That's why he carries an Epipen," John said softly.

"What?" Rodney looked confused. "Who? The other me?"

John shook his head, though it was highly likely that the other Rodney carried an auto injector but his thoughts were on his own counterpart. Perhaps, originally, the other Sheppard had convinced himself to carry an Epipen for the sake of Atlantis, not wanting to risk losing their foremost scientist to a simple but deadly allergic reaction to something in the local fauna or flora of an alien world. Most likely, Beckett suggested it at first because John knew that _he_ would have scorned the idea, believing it an overreaction on Rodney's part and hating to pander to the man's doom-laden hysterics, so why not the other John too. Certainly, Beckett had made light of a previous incident described by the other Rodney. Or had he?

John thought back to his meeting with that other Rodney and Beckett, forcing his thoughts away from his first memory of Rodney to the softly-spoken medical doctor. _That's a wee bit of an exaggeration_ , Beckett had said almost mockingly but his eyes had held an element of fear within them. Fear of a close call, perhaps? Fear of losing a friend?

"The other Sheppard carries an Epipen. Now I understand why," John gazed into Rodney's eyes, filled with regret for that other Sheppard from knowing exactly how he would feel if the same terrible fate befell the man standing before him.

"It's all my fault. I had my suspicions about her after Anubis." Rodney seemed devastated by her confession to murdering another McKay especially as he had come so close to being killed because of her. His eyes were wide and haunted, focusing sharply on John. "When O'Neill died, I should have said something to General Hammond. I should have forced an investigation--"

John tightened his grip on Rodney's shoulders, digging in his fingers and shaking him hard. "No one would have believed your word against hers. Not when she'd already destroyed your credibility with Hammond and the others at the SGC."

"But I could have tried."

"Without proof? And without the means of even gaining any proof?" John asked, desperately wanting Rodney to see the truth, that nothing he could have said would have made any difference. If anything, the allegations against Sam Carter would have destroyed Rodney's career. Sam had already made sure no one believed Rodney was an exceptionally gifted scientist by discrediting him at every turn, so those in charge of the Stargate project would not have thought twice about removing him from the project altogether. That, in turn would have destroyed the man for Rodney lived for his work. Without it he would have had nothing left, though John hoped the same could not be said of now. Selfishly, he hoped that _he_ had given Rodney another reason to live beyond the incredible work with the Ancient technology. He could tell by Rodney's expression that he desperately wanted to believe that nothing he could have said would have changed the outcome of this day but John knew the regrets would haunt Rodney, just as his own regrets for trusting Sam haunted him.

"Let's fix this thing and go home."

"Home? As in Atlantis?"

John smiled. "I kind of like to think of it as home."

Rodney gave a tremulous smile and moved to the DHD, quickly removing the connections he had made to the mirror. Without those connections, the mirror was little more than a piece of beautiful junk but a team would return later to recover it anyway. Given more time, John had a feeling that Rodney and his team of scientists would be able to fix it. Within fifteen minutes, Rodney had reconnected the DHD to power up the Stargate and John watched with growing trepidation as Rodney pressed the first six symbols of the Atlantis address. Although he was still feeling burned by Sam's touch and by his misplaced trust in her, John knew he wanted to take another chance and place his trust in Rodney. Yet, suddenly, he was afraid that if he did not stake his claim upon him here and now, then all would be lost. Some how, Carter would come between them, poisoning their relationship before it even began unless he proved to both himself and Rodney that he was wanted--desired--beyond a professional relationship.

John reached out and grabbed Rodney's wrist before he could push the large red button at the center of the DHD, pulling Rodney around to face him and drawing him into a deeply possessive kiss, tongue stroking boldly, demanding submission and gaining it. A guttural moan reverberated between them as he pressed closer still, hands stroking down the broad back to cup the rounded asscheeks. Pulling back from the kiss, John was aware of the blood rushing through his veins as he watched desire chase the dark shadows from the incredibly blue eyes. His hands moved to the hem of Rodney's t-shirt, bunching the material before drawing it upwards. He smiled when Rodney offered no resistance and, slowly, he undressed Rodney, encouraging him to step out of his clothing until he stood before John, vulnerable and naked, and so trusting.

"Aren't you a little overdressed?" Rodney asked nervously but John grinned mischievously.

"Nope."

Still, he made one small concession to Rodney's nakedness by removing his vest, dropping it at his feet after digging through one of the many pockets for an important item. John placed the small tube on the DHD. He cupped Rodney's face in his hands and kissed him soundly, keeping several inches of empty space between their bodies as he resisted Rodney's attempt to close the gap. By the time he released him, Rodney looked confused and desperate for greater contact.

The DHD deactivated from inactivity, making them both startle and look down at it. A slow grin spread across John's face.

"Turn around," John whispered, licking his lips as Rodney obeyed, albeit with uncertainty apparent in his stiff movements. "Lean over." John felt the blood pool in his groin as Rodney leaned over the DHD, bracing himself against the cool Naquadah surface with his forearms, his hands clenching hold of the console rim. Moving up behind him, John unfastened his pants and let them drop to below his knees. He pulled down his boxers and stood behind Rodney, one hand pushing between Rodney's shoulder blades to force his upper body lower while the other hand played over the smooth flesh. Picking up the tube, he unsealed it and squeezed a generous amount onto his fingers. They slipped easily inside the body spread before him, filling John with awe for the amount of trust Rodney had placed in him. Old memories flooded through John, recalling the almost forgotten pleasure of being with another man, the tightness pressing against his fingers, the raw power of having another male submit to him, giving up control to him. He murmured words of reassurance and approval to Rodney, telling him how good it felt, how good _he_ felt as he pulled his fingers away, taking a moment to slick his engorged cock before pressing slowly into Rodney. The heat and tightness of living flesh enveloped him, sending exquisite sensations firing through him. Rodney's knuckles whitened as he gripped hold of the edge of the DHD tighter, his breath hitching as John pushed passed the tight ring of muscle before becoming shallow and fast from pain and pleasure combined. Tear-wettened long lashes fanned down over lust-darkened eyes. John did not stop until he was all the way in, feeling the perfect fit of Rodney's body along the length of him.

"So good, Rodney. So good," he crooned softly, one hand reaching up to knead the taut muscle at Rodney's shoulder, feeling the tension lessen as Rodney was relaxed beneath him, and his death grip on the DHD loosened. John held still, reveling in the small contractions of Rodney's internal muscles that sent fresh sparks lancing through him, waiting for the right moment, knowing he would recognize it when it came. Rodney raised his head, glancing back.

"If you're just going to stand there all day, you can pass me my laptop so I can start writing up the reports."

John grinned. "Impatient, aren't you?" He pulled back and thrust back in hard, hearing a small gasp escape the insolent lips. "That what you want, Rodney?"

"Yes," he hissed, and John obliged again, angling his hips deliberately to increase the power of his thrusts, trying to find that special place inside that would send Rodney's body flying in pleasure.

He knew he found the right spot when Rodney bucked beneath him, muscles contracting tightly, and a ragged cry spilling from him. Rodney threw back his head, arching up as John found that spot again and again, thrust after thrust. Unintelligible words fell from Rodney's lips as every muscle in his body tensed for a moment that seemed to stretch into infinity for both of them as he took John over the edge with him, freefalling in time and space as stars went supernova behind his eyelids, sending shards of light piercing through his entire body.

When he regained his senses, John found he was draped over his lover, pinning Rodney to the DHD beneath his dead weight. He felt Rodney struggle beneath him and drew back, carefully pulling his half-flaccid cock out of the loosened hole before leaning forward to plant a soft kiss on the strong, broad back at the nape of Rodney's neck. Rodney pushed up from his prone position and turned in the circle of John's arms, leaning back against the DHD for support. His eyes were wide, as if awed by what they had done together, but they closed as John claimed his mouth possessively once more, tongues coiling and dancing, sucking and tasting, owning John as surely as he tried to slake his ownership upon Rodney.

Suddenly conscious of the time, John stepped out of Rodney's embrace. With Sam he'd had no problem with after-sex talk but none of his previous male encounters had been anything more than a quick fuck to slake their immediate needs; no love and no desire for contact beyond the lust sated with sex. He had no experience to fall back on now and no time to figure it out either. John pulled up his boxers and pants, wiping himself with a handkerchief before tucking himself away and fastening his clothing.

"There's water and wipes in the jumper."

Rodney stared in momentary confusion before his eyes lost the joy filling them and John cursed as Rodney leaned over to gather up his dropped clothing, feeling his inadequacy but knowing he had to do something. He pulled Rodney back up, hands clamped upon his biceps, shaking him once to ensure he had Rodney's full attention.

"I meant what I said on Atlantis. I want you to stay...with me," he added almost as an afterthought, hoping Rodney would understand what he meant.

That quirky smile lifted one corner of Rodney's mouth, his eyes regaining a little shy joy. "I'll go get cleaned up...wait for you in the jumper."

John breathed a sigh of relief. "I'll dial home from here. Just hope you wired this thing correctly as I'd hate to _not_ be in Atlantis when we go through the gate."

"Guess you'll just have to trust me."

"Oh, I reckon I can learn to do that...although I'm not sure if I _should_ trust a man covered in glyphs."

"What?"

Rodney frowned and looked down, choking at the impressions adorning his chest and stomach from where John had pressed him hard against the DHD as he took him. Unfortunately, they would fade quickly enough but John felt a renewed flash of pleasure at those temporary marks of passion, knowing he was responsible for putting them there.

"Maybe you can get a tattoo? I especially like this one," he grinned as his finger trailed over one symbol perfectly formed on the hairless flesh on the left side beneath the ribcage.

Rodney slapped away his fingers, eyes alight with mirth. "You can clean the mess I made on the DHD," he stated and walked away, naked butt wiggling and John laughed softly and carried out Rodney's order before reaching for his discarded vest. He had a strong feeling that life with Rodney would be one big adventure...and he loved adventures.

****

  
_Our Universe_  


John slammed his fist into the infirmary wall. After less than fifteen minutes of interrogation by General O'Neill over a radio link via the Stargate, it was all too apparent that the Colonel Samantha Carter imprisoned in the holding cell was the one that belonged to this reality. She knew too many of the innocuous details of missions that never went into any report; the small nuances, the cast aside comments, and even the unusual garb of an alien race. He listened to her explanation of how she had worked with Rodney McKay in another reality, repairing a damaged Quantum mirror so they could return her to her rightful universe and take a killer back to face justice. As the link via the Stargate disconnected, John knew he ought to feel pleased that his reality had regained this most incredible and brilliant scientist and soldier but, instead, he felt cheated.

Oh, he knew the other Carter had not got away with her crimes for she had been returned to the reality where she had murdered so many over the years, including Brendan Gall, according to this Carter. Fortunately, she had not succeeded in murdering the other Rodney too, though John could imagine the nightmares that would chase Rodney through the dark hours. He just hoped the other Sheppard had taken his advice and become the friend that Rodney needed--and deserved.

However, all this offered little closure for him--and little comfort.

Earlier, Carson had said he was not going to sugar-coat Rodney's condition but he had lied when his words implied all would be fine, almost joking at how Rodney would react when he learned who had saved him--Kavanagh. Except, no one knew how long Rodney had gone without precious oxygen reaching his brain; seconds or minutes. His Rodney, his lover of a single night lay deathly still in the bed opposite, with dark lashes lying like smudges against his pale flesh. Until he awoke, no one could say if his incredible mind would still be intact. Carson had offered small consolation that Rodney's airways would have opened as the epinephrine flooded his system, giving Schuler and John a chance to oxygenate his blood and get it pumping around his body, even if that was manually. However, John was haunted by his remembrance of blue-tinged lips set in a too-pale face.

Seconds or minutes? Which had it been?

A slight change in the monitor readings brought John to his feet and across the dividing space, and he leaned in close as long, dark lashes flickered, eyes moving behind closed lids; he turned his head for a split second to call out to Carson.

"Doc!"

John could hear the sound of feet rushing into the infirmary from the direction of Carson's small office, almost grateful when Carson did not force him to relinquish his position over Rodney. He wanted to be the first person Rodney saw and he wanted to be the first person to look deep into the blue eyes in return. He wanted to see any lingering disorientation clouding those eyes dissipate with recognition, even if there was still no guarantee that all of his mind and memories would be there. Desperately, John wanted to be recognized as more than just another face in a crowd, as more than just a friend. He wanted to see those eyes soften with remembered pleasure, just as they had when they had made love a lifetime ago--or so it seemed to John now.

"Come on...open those baby blues," John murmured, unaware of the small endearment implicit in his words but smiling when heavy lids opened to narrow slits and then widened. His smile faded as Rodney stared up at him like a newborn, hope dying and then bursting back into life as Rodney frowned with growing recognition.

"Colonel?" he asked hoarsely, relieving some of John's fears.

"Isn't it time you started calling me John?"

"I-I suppose..."

"Rodney?" Carson elbowed John aside gently, flashing a small penlight into Rodney's eyes as he pulled at Rodney's eyelids and asked a series of basic questions.

"Did I hit my head or something?" Rodney rasped out through a dry throat.

"Or something," John replied, folding his arms across his chest defensively.

Carson had bandied around lots of medical phrases that were meaningless but that basically came down to, at best, the possibility of short term memory loss from just before the trauma. If all Rodney had lost was a few days of his life then most people could live with that--except John. The six hours before Carter's attempt on Rodney's life were the ones John cherished most; the feel of Rodney's body, warm and hard against his as they rocked to a frantic climax, the small whimpers of pleasure that excited him like no other lover before him, and the mobile mouth that could talk a mile a minute or kiss him senseless in seconds. He remembered it all so vividly and he wanted Rodney to remember it too.

Carson pulled back and handed Rodney a plastic cup partially filled with tepid water. He waited until Rodney had taken a sip before asking, "What's the last thing you recall before waking here?"

Rodney's eyes drifted away, lips parted as frown lines appeared on his forehead. He looked to John as if simply seeing him would prompt the memories and then his eyes widened.

"Kavanagh," he said in a low shocked tone, looking away in dread. "Oh God! I'll never hear the end of it. It was bad enough that he was the one to think of blowing the hatch when the jumper got stuck in the gate." He looked back at John, "But this...?" Rodney looked horrified, as if already imagining some heavy price he would be paying for being beholden to Kavanagh for his life and yet, to John, this was one of the happiest moments of _his_ life. If Rodney could recall Kavanagh saving him then he would remember all that came before it, too, including the love they had consummated physically.

The shocked expression hardened into fear. "Samantha--?"

"Is back where she came from...in another universe."

"What?" Rodney looked confused.

"The Quantum mirror. Seems my little trip to another reality had a big impact on both that one and ours," John added sardonically. "Turns out the Sam Carter the other me was going to marry was a psychopath who didn't take too kindly to being stood up at the altar."

Rodney seemed even more confused. "Then...why was she trying to kill me?"

"I think further explanations can wait until later," John stated as he looked around, uncomfortably aware of Carson but, more importantly, of the nurse who had come over at Carson's bidding. He knew Carson would probably be open-minded about any revelations on John's part regarding his relationship with Rodney and would honor doctor-patient confidentiality. However, John did not intend to take the same chance with others this early on his relationship. If Caldwell found out before John could figure out a game plan then not even Elizabeth would be able to keep him here on Atlantis. He would be sent back to Earth to face a dishonorable discharge, and his military superiors would ensure that he never saw Rodney again. After all, they could afford to lose a colonel but they would balk at losing an exceptionally brilliant astrophysicist.

John sent a warning glance Rodney's way and hoped his lover was astute enough to pick up on it.

"Oh. Okay. I'm a little tired right now anyway."

"Aye. You should rest." Carson patted Rodney's shoulder, giving him a warm smile before turning to face John. "Five minutes only, Colonel." His smile deepened with warmth and understanding; he squeezed John's arm gently as he moved away, leaving John alone with Rodney.

John sat down beside Rodney, wishing he could draw the curtain back around to afford them a little privacy, perhaps enough so that he could steal a kiss before leaving. Instead, he reached out and wrapped his fingers around Rodney's wrist, allowing only this small touch when he wanted so much more.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. Tired. Just tired."

"Close your eyes then. I'll stay until you fall asleep."

"You will?"

"Yeah...but to be on the safe side, you'd better fall sleep within the next four minutes."

Rodney gifted John with a shy grin, only to ruin it by yawning widely. Heavy eyelids closed over tired eyes and he drifted off immediately, his breathing deep and slow, murmuring softly in discontentment when John released the wrist he was holding and settled Rodney's hand on top of the blanket. Sinking back into the seat, John thought of the other Carter. He still felt cheated at losing her but that burning sensation for revenge no longer gripped so tightly within his chest now he knew his Rodney would be fine, though he offered up a silent prayer to whatever deities might be listening that she would pay for almost taking Rodney from him.

He wondered if he would ever know and then pushed that wish aside to join all the other things he could neither alter nor influence in his life. He had to trust the other John to do what was right concerning the other Sam Carter and, focus instead on what he did have. He still had the most important person in his world by his side, and that was enough.

****

_Both Universes_

**Epilogue:**

Rodney moved slowly along the length of his lover, licking and sucking on exposed flesh as John stretched like a powerful cat, one hand petting Rodney's head indulgently, fingers carding through his hair, eagerly encouraging further ministrations. Teasingly, Rodney skirted John's groin and the hard erection standing proud from a thicket of coarse dark hair, earning a hiss of displeasure and the sting of fingers tugging on his ear. With a mischievous grin, Rodney nipped at some of hairs on John's abdomen, close to his groin, tugging hard on the soft curls and gaining a small yelp of pain and indignation from John.

John retaliated more swiftly than Rodney expected, legs wrapping around Rodney's torso, twisting and flipping Rodney onto his back with a muffled cry of shock. John spread his legs, knees to either side of Rodney's body to take his weight off his lover, his groin temptingly close; too close and too tempting for Rodney to resist. Arching his head up, Rodney breathed in the heady musk of his lover and licked at the base of the beautiful thick shaft, grinning at the way John gasped and shuddered in pleasure.

"Damn cocktease," John snarled, thrusting his groin into Rodney's face for more of the tantalizing licks and caresses. He angled his hips to brush the tip of his cock against Rodney's lips, groaning when Rodney took pity upon him, wrapping his palm around the shaft and lapping at the sensitive head. His tongue slipped along the tiny slit to lap at the dewdrop beading there, the bittersweet taste of precome bursting on his tongue. Exquisite, he thought and he licked again, drawing a moan from the man rocking slowly above him.

"God, Rodney."

The pleading edge to those words made Rodney feel so powerful, knowing he held his lover quite literally in his hand, dependent upon him for that ultimate release. John dropped down onto his forearms; forehead pressed against the pillow, back curved upwards, and stomach muscles clenched tautly, grunting lightly with each tiny thrust. Keeping one hand firmly wrapped around the engorged shaft, Rodney reached up with the other to stroke along the back of John's muscular thigh with the flat of his hand from knee to one firm ass cheek. He squeezed the small, rounded cheek as he took the head of John's cock between his lips, sucking on the head, tongue twisting along the slit to gather up more of the pungent fluid. John bucked suddenly as Rodney's tongue hit that very sensitive bundle of nerve endings, driving his shaft deeper into Rodney's mouth, almost choking him before John recovered sufficiently and pulled away a little, guided by Rodney's hand.

Rodney dug his fingers into the sweet flesh of John's ass before releasing it to trace a path along the cleft between the two firm mounds. His finger brushed over the hidden entrance to John's body, gaining another pleading moan as John alternated between thrusting down into Rodney's mouth and up against the finger that circled the small tight ring of muscle. Taking pity on John once more, Rodney pressed his finger inside the already slicked hole even as he opened his mouth to accept more of the hard warm flesh. He worked his finger in counterpoint to John's small thrusts, sinking deeper inside his lover's hot channel even as John sank deeper into his mouth; his teeth scraping gently along the length of John's erection, tongue pressing hard against the sensitive tip, sucking and licking while his finger curled inside John to find that pleasure spot.

An uncontrolled thrust, the twist of John's hips and a sharp cry made Rodney grin around the hard flesh and he worked harder, knowing John was close. A strangled gasp was his only warning before hot semen flooded into his mouth, almost drowning him as he fought to swallow the creamy, bitter fluid. Boneless with release, John's muscles quivered with strain as Rodney slipped from beneath him and John slumped to the bed with a relieved sigh as Rodney rolled onto his side and began to stroke along the naked flesh. His fingers played with the light pelt of dark hair covering the back of John's thighs before he gave into temptation once more and leaned in to plant a kiss on one firm asscheek before encouraging John to spread his legs further apart. Grabbing lube from the bedside cabinet, Rodney squeezed a generous amount onto his fingers before discarding the tube, and he stroked it along the length of his own hard cock. Kneeling between the parted thighs, Rodney urged John to raise his ass. He pressed the head of his penis against the loosened hole and thrust in gently, sighing as the heat of John's pleasure-sated body wrapped around him, internal muscles giving easily and yet still holding him tightly as he buried himself to the hilt inside the beautiful body. With both hands holding John firmly, Rodney pulled back almost all the way before thrusting forward, excitement growing as John ground back against Rodney, increasing the penetration. He knew he could not last long, already too hard and needy to slow things down, so Rodney increased the pace, flesh slapping against flesh as he pistoned into John with sharp jabs that seemed to go deeper with each thrust. He sensed his impending orgasm, feeling the warmth rippling from his groin to his belly and thighs, searing along every pathway and turning his blood to liquid fire. Stars burst behind his closed eyelids and then he was falling for an eternity as the heat of his own ejaculate added to the shock of pleasure. Rodney collapsed over the strong back, cheek resting against hot, sweaty flesh and only moving when John mumbled against the pillow about him being too heavy. He pulled out carefully and rolled onto his back.

"Oh God. I think I died and went to heaven."

Rodney felt a hot hand rest on his thigh and he grinned, covering it with his own and squeezing the fingers, biting his tongue as more words formed in his head, and knowing this was the closest he had come to saying the frightening L-word to John.

"You were great, Rodney," came the warm and mellow response, followed by a gentle squeeze back on their entwined fingers.

Perhaps in time he would find the courage to risk everything on saying that word but not today. For now, he was content to bask in the warmth of John's presence by his side and in his bed.

****

  
_Several weeks later: Mirror Universe_  


The mirror shimmered as John approached, the silvered surface rippling within the currents of space and time as the vortex formed, connecting them to another continuum, another reality. Rodney looked up from the control panel, blue eyes blazing with excitement. It had taken him weeks to fix the damaged mirror without requiring an alternate power source in the form of a DHD, and now he was grinning brightly, rightfully proud of his and Simpson's achievement. The two scientists had formed a brilliant working bond that even included Kavanagh from time to time.

The results coming from the scientific teams on Atlantis had more than doubled since Rodney took over as chief scientist. His acerbic tongue had lashed most of them at one time or another but, despite a few grumbles about an _ego the size of a small planet_ and _difficult to please_ , the majority made the effort to please him and reaped the benefits. The rest asked for reassignment back on Earth, never truly understanding the opportunities they had thrown away but John saw them as no great loss to the expedition.

"It should be accessing the alternate universe that you originally stepped into."

His grin faltered as if suddenly recalling why they had both wanted so badly to contact this other reality. Dreams of the Wraith sucking the life out of Rodney had brought restless nights to both of them from time to time but not knowing what had happened to the other Rodney seemed far worse some how. Often, John would hold Rodney in the night as his body shook with the fear of his own body betraying him, giving in to anaphylactic shock as some innocuous meal sent its own form of poison through his system, closing his airways and stopping his heart from beating.

Perhaps they could lay one ghost to rest simply by knowing the truth--for good or bad.

Simpson made her excuses and left, seeming to understand when she was no longer wanted or needed, while Rodney came to stand beside John. They watched carefully, hoping to catch a reflection in the mirror that was not part of this reality. John raised both eyebrows when a lone figure appeared, a reflection of him, similarly clothed. John picked up the stiff white boards he had created earlier that day, turning it so his counterpart could see the word queried upon it, a single word that held the meaning of life to John--Rodney?

His reflection grinned, looking aside for a moment and beckoning to someone out of view. John gave a soft laugh of relief when a figure dressed in science beige joined his counterpart.

Rodney.

Beside him, John's own Rodney grabbed at his arm but, before John could stop him, Rodney leaned in and kissed him soundly, leaving no doubt to the nature of their relationship. Any horror at Rodney's inappropriate action disappeared as the other John swooped around suddenly, grabbing his Rodney and almost bending him over backwards as he kissed him deeply before releasing his stunned partner.

John continued to grin into the mirror long after vortex closed, leaving him staring at his own reflection in the stillness of the mirror before his eyes moved to his lover's reflection. He let his eyes say far more than mere words ever could, and his grin became a gentle, indulgent smile upon finding his love returned from within the shining blue eyes of his lover.

THE END


End file.
